Disassociative Identity Disorder- I have a few questions

Long story short I was recently in a relationship with a woman for a little over a year.

This relationship unfortunately ended recently (neither person really can be attributed the "breaker upper" as it was kind of a simultaneus/ultimatum type thing). That being said I am still head over heels for her, and she wont talk to me.

The first 4 months of our relationship we lived in tye same city and grew close. Do to crazy life citcumstances, she had to move away. However we kept things going long distance. The thing is however, she hid alot.of things from me, and he personality would change often. Her stories and recollections would also change.

I took this breakup kind of hard. I am in love with this woman. I staryed seeing a therapist and I went into detail... deep detail about everything in our relationship.

The therapist after being explained alot of the situations and scenarios said that it sounds like this girl, may very well have dissociative identity disorder. It makes sense because she did go through intense childhood trauma as that isnl one of the triggers.

The reason im starting this thread is to ask anyone familiar with this condition a few questions.

1. Is it possible for the different identities to not have different names?

2. Is it possible for the different identities to appear/disappear in longer intervals (weeks?)

3. If you are close with someone who has the condition, would it always be blatantly obvious? Or are there cases of the identities hiding or concealing themselves?

4. Can dissassociative identity disorder be mis-diagnosed as PTSD?

5. If one of the identities makes a desicison and feels a certain way about something, can it prevent the others from going against them?

6. Are there any definitive or "secret" "universal triggers" that can cause a change?

7. How is the issue broached with potential patients?


Thank you to anyone who has experience in this matter. Its rrwlly important.

Also, please do not think I am willy nilly tossing around the possibility of an extremely rare psycological disorder due to my vested interest in the situation. I explained and physically showed many scenarios to a professional who actually recommended it as a possibility based on what they saw. (I dont think a professional would toss something like that around lightly)

Why are you asking this on an internet forum? Ask the therapist... If you don't think they know their sh** from shinola then find one you trust... We mean well but very few are doctors that can offer sound advice here.

a reply to: hombero

A few reasons, me digging in on this with the therapist wouldnt be condusive to my own therapy/depression.

My sessions are mainly to talk about me.

Im curious and I want opinions from either people who may know others with this condition or maybe from someone who works in thw field who is also on this forum and comes across it.

It is from what I understand very rare...

And even then.. many people in the field disagree that it evwn exists and they feel that its often faked, even though they have measured significant changes in brain waves when personalities shift.

a reply to: Lucidparadox

If you fall in love with someone like what you describe you may be willfully blinded by your love ...Love can cover a multitude of sins .

The pathology of DPD is widely debated, to the point that many therapists don't even believe it exists. It gained widespread recognition as a result of the book Cybil (the author of which denied all counter-diagnosis and refused to include the comments of the therapist providing them), and has been perpetuated in Hollywood movies ever since.

It has been suggested that the therapists themselves are creating what looks like DPD by using techniques like hypnosis on patients who have suggestibility disorders.

I would stay away from any professional who offered DPD as a diagnosis for someone they've never met.

originally posted by: Dudemo5
I would stay away from any professional who offered DPD as a diagnosis for someone they've never met.

I was thinking similarly. There are reasons for everything and to get one side, especially from someone involved with the other person to that extent...lot of baggage, some animosity perhaps unrealistic perspective etc. I would not put much stock into it.

I understand exactly where you guys are coming from. I thought that myself to a certain extent.

This is why I am asking these questions. I feel it may be a stretch because the research Ive done on the subject.. the cases Ive seen videos on.. it has always been clearly evident.

I didnt post all the details because it would take too long, but there are definitely reasonings why this would come up.

One of the most important questions was the one surrounding PTSD. I was really wondering if there is a connection between the two.. or if they are ever interchangeably misdiagnosed.

a reply to: Lucidparadox

That's tough I wish you well.

Have you by chance seen the movie "split " if not it may give you insight to people that have multiple personalities.

It is true that there are a lot of 'experts' that disagree that D.I.D. even exists. It is, however, actually not that rare. One university study showed 10% of students enrolled in the study showed signs of D.I.D. (I don't have the study...I was told this by an expert in the field).

To answer your questions:

1. Is it possible for the different identities to not have different names?

It depends on the organization of the personality structure. In public, they often go by the same name. Often each alter will be given a name or they will state their name when they reveal themselves in therapy, but this doesn't always happen. Each alter will reveal themselves in their own time and on their own terms...some never do. Alters can be different ages as well as male or female.

2. Is it possible for the different identities to appear/disappear in longer intervals (weeks?)

Yes. Some alters will be present more often than others; other alters rarely, if ever, reveal themselves. In many cases, especially without therapy, the different alters may not even know the others exist. Even with years of therapy, alters can remain hidden. Losing time is a common complaint of someone with DID, especially if the personality structure is disorganized.

3. If you are close with someone who has the condition, would it always be blatantly obvious? Or are there cases of the identities hiding or concealing themselves?

You have to understand that D.I.D is a response to extreme and often repeated trauma, usually before the age of 5. The splitting of the personality is a coping mechanism against the trauma being inflicted. Each of the alters perceives and reacts to the trauma experienced differently. That being said, a person with DID is very adept at hiding things....they and the alters are masters of hiding. Their condition is not obvious to most people...friends, family, their children, etc... Even spouses don't see the shifts until they are aware of the condition.

Alters do hide themselves--some will hide for decades while others will only rarely reveal themselves. Still others are more front and centre. You need to understand that with the trauma that leads to DID, boundaries and trust have been excessively violated--i.e: the boundaries of the original personality as well as those of the alters have been completely disregarded. One alter may show trust in time, but others will be extremely wary or completely untrusting. You cannot say to them "you can trust me"; they need to determine that themselves.

4. Can dissassociative identity disorder be mis-diagnosed as PTSD?

DID is an extreme form of PTSD.

5. If one of the identities makes a desicison and feels a certain way about something, can it prevent the others from going against them?

From my experience, this usually doesn't happen--the many override the few. If one alter wants to harm the body, the others can (and often do from my experience) step in and protect the body. They can also step up and protect other alters from bullying by other alters as well. While each alter is different, they all have experienced the trauma inflicted on the body and are thus all traumatized.

This being said, certain alters will "take the reins" in certain circumstances: one may be up front at work, another may be up front as a parent, another may be up front in school, yet another may be up front in a romantic relationship. As alters can vary significantly in age (infancy to adulthood), it makes sense that those with the maturity, experience and knowledge would be present in the circumstances that they are able to handle.

6. Are there any definitive or "secret" "universal triggers" that can cause a change?

Violating trust and disrespecting boundaries can bring about a change. A change is usually an indicator that the alter that is present at the time is being triggered and is reliving a trauma. It is not a good idea to trigger them just to meet a new alter--it is cruel to do so. In a more organized structure, different alters can be asked to come forward, but in this case the decision is up to the alter. Trust is absolutely essential. One never requests an alter to come forward without having established a deep trust with the person(s).

7. How is the issue broached with potential patients?

You don't broach it. Often times, other psychological issues will bring them into therapy and the determination is then eventually made by the therapist. You don't broach it with the person...that would be a violation of trust and a disregard of their boundaries.

One suggestion I would make to you is don't assume anything. Diagnosis of DID and it's 'treatment' or 'management' is not something that can be gleaned from secondhand information--it is a very complex disorder that really requires someone who is very experienced in diagnosing and treating it. I honestly feel that your therapist over-stepped when she implied that your ex-girlfriend might have this disorder simply based on your recounting of your experiences with her. There are other personality disorders and psychological states that can bring about personality and story changes as well.

I am sorry that you are experiencing the deep pain of love lost. It is not easy. However, while it is not unusual to try to understand why a relationship ended, especially when one is in love, to assume that the possible presence of DID and that one alter made the decision without regard for all the others is not how DID works. Forgive me for saying this, but it seems that you are grasping for a reason rather than accepting the decision, which only holds you in your pain. The most important thing right now is for you to respect her decisions and her boundaries and focus on your own healing.


a reply to: Lucidparadox

According to my therapist, it is extremely rare for people with dissociative personality disorder to have multiple personalities with names.

a reply to: Lucidparadox

I feel you should be more concerned at your continued attachment to her! I've been there and it's a very unhealthy place to be. Only pain and loneliness lives there.

Try to talk with your therapist about a healthier place to inhabit.

originally posted by: Lucidparadox
...I am still head over heels for her, and she wont talk to me...

...she hid alot.of things from me...
...I am in love with this woman....

dude you are pouring your love into someone who does not love you back.

move on, love should be reciprocated or your just being used and abused...

no matter what this persons issue is, you cant fix them, it wont improve, maybe learn to live with it and understand it, except you cant do that either if she doesnt love you back. so move on

a reply to: nuumm

I cant thank you enough, this is exactly the information I was looking for.


....

In reply to the others. Ttust me, I know how this sounds. There are very special circumstances surrounding this situation. Like I said, this "break-up" was not something brought on by her, and additionally, the circumstances surrounding the behaviors is a little more blatant and extreme than what I was able to post. Additionally there have been diagnoses of this individual for other things... as well as extreme trauma in youth. This is has next to nothing to do with me letting go, and more to do with me looking back and trying to assign meaning by certain behaviors.

Once again, thank you so much.

a reply to: Lucidparadox

just my opinion - but i am very suspicious of the ethics ad proffessionalism of a mental health " proffessional " who is :

making provisional diganosis of a 3rd party they have never examined - to a patient

DID generally doesn't manifest as extremes in behaviour and not all people who have experienced childhood trauma develop DID. Many will mistake a mood swing as a personality change...this is not the case at all. It is more like meeting with Jim and then meeting with Sarah. Each alter is a distinct person with their own mannerisms and nuances. As I mentioned earlier, children and spouses are not often aware of the condition until they are educated about it.

DID is, as far as I know, not blatantly obvious. I have worked with 4 cases (not in a psychological capacity) and only the ones that have spent years in therapy show obvious changes, though to those who did not know the person had DID, they appeared to be one personality.

I agree with one of the posters though...I would question the ethics of your therapist for coming up with such a complicated assumption based of third party information.

If you are interested in understanding some of the deeper aspects of DID, then the book 'The Illuminati Formula Used to Create an Undetectable Total Mind Controlled Slave' by Fritz Springmeier & Cisco Wheeler has some insights. Can be found here.

The 'Trance Formation of America' by Cathy O’Brien is another book that explores similar themes.

It does blur then lines of an individuals identity and personality. In talking to some people with these conditions, trying to integrate these different alters does become a part of their identity.

The tv series 'The United States of Tara' is another source that investigates some of the challenges and issues that the more extreme cases of DID do hold.

I thought it was multiple personalities with my wife......

all the symptoms mentioned by op.......and.....is it becoming more prevalant in the world......my question.....

a reply to: Lucidparadox

why are you looking at her for the reason things went wrong. Maybe she just doesn't want to be with you and doesn't want to talk to you. sometimes people just grow apart, its not a mental condition.

you should focus more on why you cant let go of someone that doesnt want to be with you.

love is a double edge sword.

a reply to: Lucidparadox

Listen, I think it is unlikely that she has DID. I also think that any therapist who would toss around a label for an extremely rare, complex and even controversial diagnosis based upon second hand information is at least reckless, possibly unethical and quite probably profoundly stupid.

My best advice is to get another therapist.

a reply to: penroc3

penroc no.....you missed what he re-itterated already twice