Why aren't sadists considered to be evil?

a reply to: Profusion

I saw him openly berating students in a sadistic way

could you please define this, or elaborate further how the words or actions he made could warrant this use of the word in that sentence? I am confused at the choice of word for this sentence.

a reply to: Profusion

Not sure why you would consider all sadists evil.

In a caring S+M relationship, the submissive CONSENTS. It's done willingly and joyfully, how is that evil?

Simply because you don't understand because you ate not wired that way doesn't make it wrong, just different.

I would agree however a sadist inflicting pain on someone unwilling could perhaps be considered evil. But to a willing receiver, it can simply be great sex. Nothing more, nothing less.

a reply to: TarzanBeta
So would you describe a masochist evil. One who likes pain, one who willingly wants pain and sometimes one who needs pain, all with consent. You may not be able to explain it but they exist and there is nothing wrong with them, it's what they like.
They are not nut jobs, they are not aberrations, they are normal people that likes something different than you and the only thing to say is if they are not harming (harming maybe too harsh a word, maybe bothering) anyone else let them lead their life how they want.
In answer to LordAhriman:- myself I could not do it as I even cry when I've had a splinter in my finger and as I'm a carpenter, as they say "I've had a few".

a reply to: TarzanBeta

I don't think you understood anything i just wrote.

originally posted by: Woodcarver
a reply to: Profusion

I think you are bundling everything you don't like and calling it evil.

I made an argument that can be expressed in a syllogism:

Psychopaths are largely considered to be evil.
Sadists are basically birds of a feather with psychopaths having similar behavior and motivation.
Therefore, sadists are evil just as psychopaths are evil.

originally posted by: worldstarcountry
a reply to: Profusion

I saw him openly berating students in a sadistic way

could you please define this, or elaborate further how the words or actions he made could warrant this use of the word in that sentence? I am confused at the choice of word for this sentence.

I can't remember many specifics about minor details that happened about twenty years ago.

a reply to: Profusion
You seem to remember it enough to state the language he used could be considered sadistic. If you cannot remember, how could you even describe it as such?

To describe something as sadistic, there should be violent intent with his words. If he was just being mean , that in itself could not be considered sadistic. For the record, speaking to someone sadistically in a public learning setting such as you described would likely warrant some serious repercussions up to and including arrest. Just being abusive like calling them stupid or worthless would not be enough to accurately describe it as sadistic.

Ignoring the merits for or against sadistic behavior/language, a common theme would be violent intent. Unless the professor was aggressively demanding they kill themselves for being so pathetically worthless to the human race for their lack of effort or knowledge it really is not accurate to describe it as sadistic. So someone saying for example "oh jeez where did this guy come from, idiotsville? May as well drop out now and let someone with half a brain get chance to enroll in this class, because they would have magnitudes more chance at success than you do moron!" So if that is the case, it could only be interpreted accurately as mild harassment or verbal abuse.

But you cannot even remember what they said so it is disingenuous to use the word sadistic in that sentence.

originally posted by: Profusion

I haven't watched the film 50 Shades of Grey, but I read a lot of reviews of the film and the book that were written by ordinary people. I can't recall anyone calling out the male lead for being evil. Why is that?

Some of my friends are Sadists, some of my friends are Masochists (I am somewhere in between). I'm fairly active in BDSM circles (in fact I'm planning on starting up a fetish club this year). Sure Sadists are evil but in a good way. As long as it's safe, sane and concensual there's no harm and it's nobodies business except the people taking part.

Some of the nicest, kindest people I have ever met are Sadists...

a reply to: djz3ro
Having an outlet for rage expression helps to placate the daily behaviors. We should all be thankful Sadists and masochists can live in harmony in the USA without persecution. It grants people the opportunity to regularly unwind that stress and generally be in a better mood and nicer to society.

originally posted by: worldstarcountry
a reply to: djz3ro
Having an outlet for rage expression helps to placate the daily behaviors. We should all be thankful Sadists and masochists can live in harmony in the USA without persecution. It grants people the opportunity to regularly unwind that stress and generally be in a better mood and nicer to society.

You're absolutely correct, also Masochists can get stress relief from the acts that bring a Sadist relief so it's a win/win

"I fantasize about rape, but its ok, im too afraid of getting caught, itll be a few years before i figure out a fool proof plan and finish my sex prison in the basement "


So comforting knowing these people are everywhere. Angry dog owners who WANT to tie you up and rape you, just don't have the balls.

originally posted by: ChelseaHubble
"I fantasize about rape, but its ok, im too afraid of getting caught, itll be a few years before i figure out a fool proof plan and finish my sex prison in the basement "


So comforting knowing these people are everywhere. Angry dog owners who WANT to tie you up and rape you, just don't have the balls.

You have some very deeply rooted issues, don't you?

You're a hateful racist, how are you better than a sadist?

ATTENTION!

The thread is not about sex or explicit details. Do not reply to this post.

originally posted by: nightbringr
a reply to: Profusion

Not sure why you would consider all sadists evil.

In a caring S+M relationship, the submissive CONSENTS. It's done willingly and joyfully, how is that evil?

Simply because you don't understand because you ate not wired that way doesn't make it wrong, just different.

I would agree however a sadist inflicting pain on someone unwilling could perhaps be considered evil. But to a willing receiver, it can simply be great sex. Nothing more, nothing less.

Not only that, the submissive, in most situations, is the one who is really in control, they can stop the scene at any time they want. Also, sex isn't always the ultimate goal. I'm friends with more than a couple of Professional Dominatrixes (no, I've never visited any in a professional manner, only as friends) and the majority of them have a strict "No sexual contact" rule...

originally posted by: ChelseaHubble
"I fantasize about rape, but its ok, im too afraid of getting caught, itll be a few years before i figure out a fool proof plan and finish my sex prison in the basement "


So comforting knowing these people are everywhere. Angry dog owners who WANT to tie you up and rape you, just don't have the balls.

I'll let you into a little secret, there are men and women who do harbour rape fantasies, not in the way you're thinking, these fantasise about being victims. Thanks to the BDSM scene there are safe ways for them to experience this within the realms of informed consent. There are also Dominants who fantasise in the way you describe and the level of aftercare they perform after it's all over (that's the part you 'nilla's never really hear about) show an extraordinary level of love and attention.

originally posted by: djz3ro
I'm friends with more than a couple of Professional Dominatrixes

How I envy you.

But getting back on topic I don't agree with the OP's usage of the word sadistic in reference to college professor berating his students verbally, which was my whole beef anyways. Profusion, if you cannot even remember what he/she said, please be certain to use correct words in your sentence structure next time. Mildly abusive or harassing would make more sense.

originally posted by: worldstarcountry
But getting back on topic I don't agree with the OP's usage of the word sadistic in reference to college professor berating his students verbally, which was my whole beef anyways. Profusion, if you cannot even remember what he/she said, please be certain to use correct words in your sentence structure next time. Mildly abusive or harassing would make more sense.

I'm sure most of us who have undertaken further education have experienced a lecturer or teacher who enjoys their position of [fairly limited] power but I'm not sure I would go as far as to call them sadistic.

All the below is my personal opinion and speculation.

to me i think sadism breaks down in two general catagories.

Consensual and non consensual.

For consensual you are not a paychopath. Pathalogical a little sure. One could find psycological reasons for your sadism or masochism but basically youre not a psycopath.

For non consensual stuff like cartel torturers, serial killers and scum who hurt animals and children they are completely pathological and psychotic.

The thing is the underlying roots are the same in my opinion.

Sadists subconsciously feel like they have very little control and are actually insecure. Its why they seek to be in charge and controlling. Same psychology that leads to people needing (not necessarily wanting) to be ultra rich. The executive. The ceo. All of those people have profound psychological underpinnings that stem from a lack of control over their inner lives. a deep rooted insecurity. Sadism and controlling others is how they scratch that subconscious itch and regain their sense of control over their lives. They generally have a sort of cowardly anger deep down that they release on others.

Masochists are generally on the other end of the spectrum. For many masochists its not the feeling of pain but the loss of control. Giving it up for once and to others. They have a regimented subconscious and need to escape it sometimes. However they also tend to develop this pathology through low self esteem. usually stemming from childhood trauma.

For non consensual sadism its evil.

Consensual can be loving.

A masochist has a little more dynamism to it. If they are self hurters and or take things to the extreme they are a little sad and pathetic they deserve pitty and psychological help. But, If its consensual and relatively mild it may be about power play and be less dark.

For instance in a otherwise healthy non abusive relationship bdsm can actually be a healthy fair trade. (Dont worry mods i wont get explicit here)

A husband may want his wife to be dominant in the bed room because she has low self esteem and wants to coax her into a situation where she kicks ass and takes names. A little sliver of her otherwise shy demurre personality might get a spark of confidence.

Believe it or not i believe sparring and martial arts can do something similar to sadism. Say you had a son who was getting bullied in school by some jerko kid. The best advice i can give that kid getting bullied is to punch that other kid in the face...hard...stand back and watch the power you had but didnt know.. The bullied son may still choose to be bullied but at least he knows what he himself is capable of. hes powerful and mighty too. Hes confident he can give it right back to the aggressor. Now after that is the spiritual side of martial arts he'll need to learn. Weilding power responsibly. Just cause you have a CCW permit doesnt mean you should whip out your gun to tell off that ahole who just cut you off disrespectfully. But its still nice to go to the gun range and practice with your gun getting the confidence that you are powerful and also everybit if not more so as capable.

Consensual sadism could be a way to develop confidence in a shy partner. They know they can exert themselve onto the world if they wanted. Got a little practice in in the bedroom and are now slightly more out of their shell. Bolder. Youre (the masochist reciever ) her sparring partner helping to teach her. Help her grow a little. Yes swat my butt...do it..."yow!" see you to can exert yourself onto the world you just did.

A masochist in a healthy relationship might have a desire to give that gift to their partner. To allow them to feel worshiped powerful and indulgent. Give them an avenue to learn or grow a little. imposing of their will onto the world a little more. If that partner is an otherwise sweet person why not give them the queen for a night treatment. Just have boundaries and limits. Nobody should actually be getting injured. If you cross that line you need to get a psychological eval. But examin the dynamics of this. Whats hotter. The otherwise hard mean bitch dressed up and playing the dominatrix roll or the shy cute librarian. Most will choose the librarian playing dressup by herself behind closed doors. Cause in a healthy petspective or understanding of the psychology of the faux sadists you are seeing their desire to feel less shy and insecure. I say help her explore that side of herself. As lobg as she doesnt get carried away or addicted youre helping her grow out of her shell.

So mild consentual sadism whether it be from your sensei. Coach. Or partner can be healthy and loving and an avenue for growth.

Personally i feel a woman in a leather outfit is pretty damned hot regardless if shes the acting sadist or masochist. Ill be falling all over myself eitherway to make them happy.. But then again im the type that feels that if i care about my partner then deserves a night everynow and then where shes endulged, pampered and treated like a goddess. Nothing wrong with that. Even if it neans my knees get a little sore from time to time. Just as long as she remembers how to make a good sandwich for you afterwards and shows care and compassion back.

well first of all, let's just get this out of the way. Narcissists and psychopaths are basically the same people with maybe a few tiny differences. Both are narcissists and narcissists have little to no empathy, may have some sadistic traits, etc. They're basically not that much better than psychopaths.

Im a sadist and i am actually extremely offended that you want to put me in the same category as narcissists and psychopaths. Those people are basically children. Their whole personality mimics that of a toddler. Youngins have been shown to have limited amounts of empathy, they cry when they're in trouble and act like they're the victim, they're stubborn and a lot are full of themselves. If you know anything about narcissists, that is basically their whole personality.

Im adding another paragraph here because it leaves a bad feeling in my stomach to talk about sadism and narcissism in the same paragraph, as a sadist. Sadists, on the other hand, actually do have empathy. Not only do we have empathy, some of us have more than the average person as we experience emotions at a deeper level than most people. For us, that also results in emotions that most people dont have such as pleasurable emotions when people are in pain. But simply having these emotions doesnt make me a bad person. Just like a pedophile who doesnt act on his desires, i am a sadist who will only act on my desires to a certain extent with a partner that is willing to and that enjoys the pain and/or humiliation that they will endure. I will never in my entire #ing life even think of plucking a young girl off the streets and torturing her to death. And even if i did decide to do that, i couldnt enjoy it, because i'd feel terrible for doing it, as i actually do have emotions such as empathy. Dont put people like jeffrey #ing dahmer in the same category as people like me. Those people are sadistic psychopaths. Not sadists, but sadistic psychopaths. There's a difference.

I had the misfortune of having a friend who has NPD. That guy is the most immature piece of # you will ever come across in your life. Those people cant take criticism, have little to no empathy, only care about themselves, etc. You cannot say the same about sadists. And if you are willing to say the same, then i dont give a #, because it just isnt true, and i know that, and so does everybody else who is educated on this topic.

please dont take my somewhat hostile attitude here personally, i dont dislike you by any means for putting me in the same category as human garbage like narcissists. I just #ing hate the idea of me being like them. I never was and never will be and im so #ing happy that's the case.

a reply to: djz3ro

i find it funny how you say "i wouldnt go as far to call him sadistic". How exactly is calling a person a sadist going "far"? Sadists are people who enjoy others' pain to various extents. That's it. They have empathy and they have strong emotions such as love just like most people. What this results in is sadists only performing their desires on people who are willing to go through with them. The ones who forcefully torture other people have another cluster B to go along with their sadism. And actually, many psychopaths/narcissists have a little bit of sadism with them as their personality makes it easy to have some sadistic tendencies. Im assuming you've had a lecturer that abused his power or whatnot. Due to the fact that pure sadists have empathy and arent assholes to people who dont deserve it, your teacher/s was more likely narcissistic.

Please dont put sadists in the same category as narcissists, we're a lot different than those people.