Why Yard Sales Are Important

Why Yard Sales Are Important

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will
again receive another 'Economic Stimulus'
payment.

This is indeed a very exciting program,
and I'll explain it by using a Q & A
format:

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?
A. It is money that the federal government
will send to taxpayers.

Q.Where will the government get this money ?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?
A. Only a smidgen of it.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to
purchase a high-definition TV set, thus
stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.

Spending Your Stimulus Check Wisely:

If you spend the stimulus money at
Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or
Sri Lanka.

If you spend it on gasoline, your money
will go to the Arabs.

If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, Taiwan or China

If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico,
Honduras and Guatemala.

If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .

If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .

If you pay your credit cards off, or buy
stock, it will go; to management bonuses
and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

1) Spending it at yard sales, or

2) Going to ball games, or

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

4) Beer or

5) Tattoos.

(These are the only American businesses
still operating in the U.S.)

Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a prostitute that you met at a
yard sale and drink beer all day and then be tattooed !

No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

a reply to: Metallicus

We lefties like to suppprt small local business and we like tattoos and yardsales and think prostitution should be legal. Welcome.

originally posted by: Kali74
a reply to: Metallicus

We lefties like to suppport small local business and we like tattoos and yard sales and think prostitution should be legal. Welcome.

I don't think that is a lefty thing...legalized commerce is a Libertarian thing, but we can have joint credit this time. I am in a good mood for a change.

a reply to: Metallicus

I'll bet you that someone will get offended by this thread.

hahahahahahahahaha

a reply to: DBCowboy

You are in it therefore I am offended.

But Kali mentioned prostituting herself so I now feel better.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: DBCowboy

You are in it therefore I am offended.

But Kali mentioned prostituting herself so I now feel better.

I just touched the screen where your avatar is. . . . in an inappropriate manner.

a reply to: DBCowboy

Again?!

I knew something felt icky/tingly.

a reply to: DBCowboy

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

You guys are cracking me up today!

Good show!

a reply to: Metallicus

Aww, you big cuddly bear.

Share whatever meds and/or booze with DB and me that got you happy today.

I just went to Hooters for the first time...away on business and needed beer and chicken. Huge mugs of Bells Two Hearted for $6. Bartender talked me into three. And one smaller one. I did my part for the economy today

I self-identify as a yard sale and will gladly take your money.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: DBCowboy

Again?!

I knew something felt icky/tingly.

Icky/tingly was the theme at my senior prom.

I went to a sad and lonely school.

originally posted by: DBCowboy
Icky/tingly was the theme at my senior prom.

I went to a sad and lonely school.

Did you ever get the pig's blood out?

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: DBCowboy
Icky/tingly was the theme at my senior prom.

I went to a sad and lonely school.

Did you ever get the pig's blood out?

Yeah, Carrie, a gal in my class, knew a great dry cleaner.

originally posted by: DBCowboy
Yeah, Carrie, a gal in my class, knew a great dry cleaner.

'Knew'? Past tense?

No tickey, no laundry.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

I still use the same cleaner. Sometimes the duct tape leaves a residue.

Like tears from things that don't put the lotion on.

originally posted by: DBCowboy
Like tears from things that don't put the lotion on.

Try more hose.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

I got confused.

I thought you were talking about the nylons I was wearing.

a reply to: DBCowboy

I am so glad Beer:30 is right around the corner because that visual makes me want to drink.

A lot.

What repayment? That "smidgen" is really a joke. The government is on the take. They give you something back isn't going to stimulate the economy remootely a 'smidgen'.

Tell them to dump the Fed and drop the tax bracket to ten percent for everyone. Yes, especially the corporations, after all they are people too.

That'll stimulate everyone to spend some on frivolous s***..