10 yr marriage hit the dead bedroom syndrome 6 years ago...

Here we go,

I am a Low Libido Male - Read Zombie or Robot depending on Caffeine level. Diabetic, sole income provider.

My wife of ten years is a High Libido Female - Read wants to 3 times a day to be happy. Has not been getting it that way for about 6 yrs.

Every other thing in the Relationship has been almost better then Idea, to the point of us being able to anticipate each other in everywhere but the Bed.

Neither of Us at this point See any interest in Stepping out, Nor do we even want to consider Breaking the Vows in any way.

For Me Porn is not an option cant seem to even get interested in that. (God this is hard to say) Even Rosie Palma has not seen action in about 9 years. I am that dead.

Alcohol is not an option Do not want to break my 15 years on the wagon so far run.

Any Idea's on how to fix this Dead Bedroom situation?

CoBaZ

Have you discussed this with your doctor? A low libido can sometimes be due to a medical issue.

that was cryptic,but funny...sorry...try fruit.

Maybe a dietary change?

Is there any legitimate medical reason for this?

Have you spoke to your doctor about this?

Sorry for the lack of an opinion and only the questions.

Obvious there is a physical issue at play with you. Kudos to being brave enough to bring this out in the open. There is the obvious "Have you gone to the doctor and gotten the blue pill" or "use toys and other objects for her", but it depends on what she wants, since she is the one who is feeling that she is not getting what she needs.

If you are happy in all other areas, it is worth first going to a doctor, then perhaps a sexual therapist, as sex is mostly in the brain, and can best be achieved by tapping that first. JMOHO. Good luck.

a reply to: CoBaZ
The diabetes may have something to do with the low libido. That's what I've read on diabetes, anyway. I'm not sure how this would affect insulin or blood sugar levels but I read that ginseng is good for libido.

Diabetes messes with your vascular system. Dollars to donuts that's the root cause right there. A doctor can help with that if you let it happen.

See a doctor and have your testosterone level checked. Depending on your age it is natural for the male to have a decrease in their testosterone as we age. It could be down because of your age or your environment.
Eating healthier will help but to increase your testosterone you will need to have a doctor prescribe it. Good luck

Dogmire


a reply to: CoBaZ

Buy some kneepads and learn to breathe through your ears.

Or go see a doc like others have said.

no sorry just felt wrong writing that.

t

originally posted by: OtherSideOfTheCoin
no sorry just felt wrong writing that.

t

See Doctor get something to help counter the D. Talk to wife. Go back to basics, use toys as necessary. Do the touching and stroking and feeling foreplay more and that may help arousal. Try new positions and places like in front of fire, her on a table and o new positions etc. Watch porn together whilst foreplay. Hope that helps.

a reply to: CoBaZ

Are you taking any medications that may have sexual side effects that you are not aware of? Or perhaps you have become asexual for some reason?

a reply to: laminatedsoul

[snip]

To the OP, try and ignore this post. The advice given by others is sound.

Have you seen a testosterone replacement specialist yet? Spend some money. You have this life and science is awesome.

Get to the Doctor. Complete physical, and blood work including PSA. Diabetes and prostate problems can combine to really cause issues. And one of the side affects is low to no testosterone. And from what I remember low T can cause tiredness as well. Plus get regular exercise.

Type two Diabetes first found 5 years ago, blood sugar on my meter the VA gave me was regular 424 - 515 currently regular reading is 126 - 142

Lets see prescriptions would be

Metformin HCL 500mg x2 every morning. (4 years)
Glipizide 5mg x1/2 pill in morning and 1/2 pill in evening. (2 months)

OTC

BC powder for Migraine headaches taken (approx 4 times a week 2x a day) instead of prescribed Tramidol/Lortab (the Tramidol or Lortab both cause foggy head and drowsiness that I can not afford while working.

I am also thinking most of the problem may be diabetes related, I was kind of hoping that some other suggestion might had given me a clue on where else to work first, (It was difficult saying anything here when I am pretty much Anon, I know it will be more difficult to bring it up with my VA PCP (Female Doctor) who knows me face to face).


Next appointment is may 11th so wish me luck.

a reply to: CoBaZ
You didn't say but if you have high blood pressure that can cause the problems mentioned, and some of the meds cause these problems.

Your hormones are off that's all. Go to the doctor. Find ways to augment your Testosterone. And change your diet to hit the default switch on your insulin sensitivity.

It's probably more having to do with your insulin sensitivity and how that cascades into changing all your other hormones. Also, work out n get your body producing the right juice.

You're body chemistry is screwed up not you. Get that fixed and literally in 3 days time you can be strutting around the house terrorizing your wife with a priapism that gives her libido a run for her money.