Could abortion be considered a double standard?

I had the same thing happen to me. My girlfriend in college became pregnant with my child and decided to abort the baby without any input from me. I think about that child all the time and I totally agree with you that the man should have input on if the child should be aborted or not. Anyone who says otherwise probably hasn't been through what you and I went through with the loss of our potential child. I would have raised the child by myself if I had the chance to do so, but she never gave me the opportunity.

a reply to: WanderingSage

Yeah I get it.
Don't get me started on the whole adoption racket!
"Everybody wants a new born baby"...

They want someone to love and take care of and all that well, there's plenty of kids out there needing adopting.

Most are unfortunately NOT newborns...

a reply to: Metallicus
You're not married. You have no commitment. You have no input. Well, you did but that was the end of it.

Should she have discussed it? Yes. Do you have any right to say no? No.

originally posted by: Bone75
a reply to: Annee

What if the couple agrees beforehand to have a baby, and a few months in she goes nuts and kills the baby? Is the father not entitled to justice?

Few months?

Abortion is a legal procedure. It is not killing a baby.

What? They shook hands on it? You need to watch more court shows.

a reply to: Metallicus

I agree with you on the adoption issue, but newborns are more likely to get adopted especially if you put the info out way ahead of time

originally posted by: Phage
a reply to: Metallicus
You're not married. You have no commitment. You have no input. Well, you did but that was the end of it.

Should she have discussed it? Yes. Do you have any right to say no? No.

But do you think he should have the right?

a reply to: Annee

There's still a lot of debate on whether it's a baby or not. Both sides have great sources. Also we're not questioning the legality, but the man's rights

a reply to: WanderingSage

But do you think he should have the right?

Really? You have to ask that question? I haven't made my opinion clear?
No. I don't think he should have that right. Discuss it? Fine. Final decision is hers and hers alone.

originally posted by: Phage
a reply to: WanderingSage

But do you think he should have the right?

Really? You have to ask that question? I haven't made my opinion clear?
No. I don't think he should have that right.

You'd probably feel different in the situation, but every one's entitled to their opinion. I was kidding about asking the question again.

a reply to: WanderingSage

You'd probably feel different in the situation, but every one's entitled to their opinion.

Yeah, well. You can second guess me all you want but we were smart enough to avoid the situation in the first place.

a reply to: Metallicus

The young girl that I knew when talk was of what to do if she was pregnant said, "Well, I can raise it by myself".

She really couldn't. She lived at home with her parents who helped with the car payment. She worked at minimum wage and went to school. She wouldn't have had money for the child's needs or her own. The baby would have went on someone's insurance. Children are expensive to raise. What if there were medical issues?
The boy worked also minimum wage. If he would have NOT went to basic training?
It's just a complicated situation. I'm not saying that she would have chosen an abortion but, I am not saying that THAT would not have been the right choice for them.

I know some men who don't pay child support. One recently served 4 months in jail for failure to pay. His argument is "how can I pay if I'm in jail?" My response is "If you'd paid you wouldn't have been in there".
The Mother who has custody can't say well, I don't have money to feed or clothe them this month cause I want to do x, y, or z...so...I'm just not...
I believe what you DON'T know doesn't hurt you so, if the woman isn't going to consult the father and get his opinion, desires, feedback, whatever than what is the point of EVER telling him in the first place?
I'm not sure how someone would just find out later on...
I think sometimes the cleansing of one's own conscience causes more pain than is ever necessary...IMO

Thanks hope I don't make anyone too angry...

a reply to: Phage

By that statement it seems you called everyone woman who's had an abortion not smart for being in a situation where abortion is involved.

So... The message, if I am understanding it, is that a female who chooses to engage in intercourse with a male is then to be stripped of her self-determination for a period of nine months, simply to afford the male the option of fatherhood? And then, after birth, the female is forced to exist under the dictum of the male partner, even if he opts not to exercise said option of fatherhood to any degree?

IE... You had sex with me and now that I have conquered you, you will live as I dictate, for the rest of your life. I might choose to participate, I might not. But YOU will exist solely to keep my options open.

a reply to: WanderingSage
It takes two. Don't it?

a reply to: TNMockingbird

The boy would have been in the military the money would have automatically taken from his check and sent to her. Also the kid would have had insurance for everything

That sums it up nicely
That's the message I received.

a reply to: Hefficide

Well for someone like you I'm not surprised you saw it that way. I'm talking about men who truly do want fatherhood. If she doesn't want it then the baby could belong to the man and she could have nothing to do with it. No one is conquering anyone. She chose to have sex knowing the possible consequences. TRUE AND TOTAL EQUALITY! NOT PICK AND CHOOSE WHAT YOU WANT BE EQUAL ON.

a reply to: WanderingSage

I know I see what you're saying but, that's not my point.
The benefits would have been good I am sure but, he would not have been PRESENT and I wouldn't expect him to be.
They were not in a committed relationship, they did not love each other. They were horny and stupid. Once.

It would have changed the course of their lives and who knows how that would have transferred to the child. Dad went on to the military, he left me, Mom always resented me for stealing her childhood. Etc...

It should and could be avoided. It should and could be avoided before there's a pregnancy but, what about after?

I believe this girl would have consulted him but, I do believe ultimately it would have and should be her decision.
Now I have no idea how THAT decision would effect either of them in the future.

a reply to: WanderingSage

"Someone like you"? As the father of two children who is intimately familiar with the uglier aspects of custody battles I would suggest that you are talking out of your ass here.

So are you suggesting that a law be passed banning abortion, but also stating that any woman can force a father to take custody upon demand?

a reply to: Hefficide

Also the man who doesn't want a child and the woman does has to strip his self determination away and have major fiscal responsibilities to a child he didn't want. She gets nine months he gets 18 YEARS! Give me a freaking break