Let it bleed

Okay guys, I need to unload.

I don't know what it is, I'm getting married in 2 weeks now. Inventory is going on at work and I'm sick, just sick to my #ing stomach.

From the moment I wake from interupted sleep until the moment i lay in bed begging the day to leave me.

I'm 5 years off the spoon, but now I feel like I'm drinking too much. I go to work with a bunch of hapless #ing ass hats who want nothing more than to stick their team mates with a rusty fork, but whine and beg for help with their own bull# that 90 percent of the time they are responsible for drowning in.

I keep saying if you are going to swim with sharks do it calmly, but all i see are sharks no end in site, no lonely island to curl up and die on only assholes as far as i can see.

I just don't see the point anymore. I honestly freeze up half the time and the words just come out, like some pre programmed robotic waste of skin i just spit out the answers, nothing but callouses and broken dreams here.

I'm just so #ing tired... I wish I could just lay down and sleep... really sleep, not worry about some dick who has a problem i have to try and solve tomorrow... everyone always says leave work at work, but what do you do when it follows you like some dickish cartoon rain cloud...

How do you put it down when you're handcuffed to it, and no one else will let you out.

Seriously some days. I swear, I just want to slap someone and walk right out the door. The worst part is I feel myself becoming bitter and I'm afraid I will slap some one who deserves the help....

sincerely,

Broken

First, a hug.


Is there any way that you can find another job? It sounds pretty stressful to me. You are getting married in a couple of weeks and should be happy, not overwhelmed by your job. I have worked for over thirty years and had to deal with some real jerks. I know how stressful that can be. Is there anyone above you who could talk to the jerks that get on your nerves and don't seem to be adequate at what they are doing? They shouldn't be hounding you so much to do their own jobs. Who trained them? Sounds like they need further training so they can perform their jobs properly. As for drinking, you already know that it won't solve anything and could make things even worse for you. I wish you well Broken one!

a reply to: Night Star

Thanks Night.

Half of the problem is, these people are my colleagues, as well as my superiors. I'm a manager in a large company, I have 20 associates, in a building of approximately 160 individuals. Some of the supposed Managers don't do their jobs, but get my help to do their jobs. Others are bitter from a select few always asking for help so now refuse to help and attack others maliciously.

Unfortunately in the building of 160, I'm EVERYONE's go to. So I don't get my work done because I'm helping others, I worked an entire 10 hr day with out a single break today. I just barely got my own stuff done for the day, it's getting to be too much. I'm trying to grow my people, I'm trying to grow people all over the building and support and empower them, then there is the poison. They cut others to pieces and I've been fairly positive now for 2 years. This job pays well. I'm respected, appreciated, and relied on by so many. I'm in a difficult place, and others who complain constantly have ruined all support if I come out and ask. I don't want to be lumped in with them, but I can't keep picking them up, I'm drowing in the ever rising tide and I don't want to drop anyone I've grown attached to them all and it hurts me so much, and the behind the back antics is just crazy.

I'm stuck. I appreciate what you say, and I've been offered a job with another company but it's a big risk to move and will completely burn this bridge to ash if i left.

I just wish I could abandon this mentality where I feel like I have to save everyone. I empathize to much and guilt myself into helping them and some of them know it and abuse that instinct...

If I could I'd step down, I'd go right to the bottom and just be a nice guy who does what he can but nothing more... I'm tired of playing Atlas.

I have worked at the same job for 24 years. I can definitely relate to bringing your work home with you. I did so for the first 5, maybe 10 years. But, over time that gradually became less of a problem. I believe that subconsciously, knowing that it wasn't healthy, I weened myself off of it. Now, its to the point were its like a switch is flipped and I almost feel like 2 different people. My work self or my home self. Some of the effects of this are actually quite drastic.

So, my experience would say that theres still hope. And that over time you will gradually begin to let go of the negativity as you walk out the door each day. Good luck.

Should I have another beer

a reply to: Firewater

I'll work again tomorrow. I just can't seem to unwind... I have 2 weeks off coming up... I'm just hoping i can unwind with the wedding and alll... It's going to be crazy

My suggestions -
1. Prioritise - You come first, everyone else can wait.

2. Be honest - With yourself and your colleagues. If you can't help someone because you got a lot on your plate then that's how its got to be. Just be honest and tell them.

3. Take a break - Go on holiday, have some time off, relax, think things through and get your head back on track.

4. You will never solve everybody's problems. That's a fact. Regardless of how much you'd like to. So focus on leaving the burden of work behind when you clock off. You have to realise that there are some things that are just out of your control.

5. Focus on your Work/Life balance. You have one life and one family, make sure you make time for what's important to you and not let work consume you. I've never heard of anybody wish that they'd spent more time at work whilst lying on their death bed.

I know it's always easier said than done but I'm sure 90% of people can relate to how you're feeling in some way or another. I know I've felt the same as you before. It helps me to stop overthinking things and realise what's really important to me. Keep things simple.

Anyway, keep your chin up and power through friend. Don't let it grind you down.

a reply to: heliopolis

I know all of this, but it still boils over. Iphone, 2 planners, work email, personal email, inbox at work, walk ins, yadda yadda, it just boils over so fast. There is too much for any one person to do on any given day, and everyone demands attention right now....


I know I will get there in time. I just feel like I'm losing myself.

Thanks for the advice mate.

originally posted by: Hijinx
Okay guys, I need to unload.


I'm 5 years off the spoon, but now I feel like I'm drinking too much.

Methinks this could be the root of your unease. Easy to replace one crutch with another.

a reply to: Hijinx

I live above the shop in which I work.

I cannot begin to tell you, how much I would like to live a mile or so away, or even at the end of the street, just somewhere other than right the hell on top of my place of work. On my days off I HAVE to leave, go out, get out, go somewhere, do something else than be at home, where I will inevitably be asked to come in and cut a key, or deal with some total nonsense.

I empathise entirely. Luckily, I work with my mother, and that is great, for all that it comes with its unique issues!

a reply to: Hijinx

Hey Hijinx - see your problem is you care too much. And you are too responsible. All qualities that everyone should have and had more of in the past. You work with a large amount of people all chewing each other up and spitting them out just so they themselves can look good and get the $$ and not lose their position.

People like you make the BEST managers. But they also do it at personal expense. Especially if you are under someone else's thumb.

This job is going to kill you. If you don't find a way to learn how to deal with it.

Start with little steps. Here is what I would suggest:

- MAKE yourself take a break. Start with 10 minutes twice a day. And do it like clockwork. Put a sign up on your door, close your office blinds and make it known that it is your break time. Remember that you can't be of any help to anyone else if you aren't functioning at full capacity. This is important to know: you can't help others (which is your natural way of being, empathy, etc., unless you yourself are capable of doing so. This means you need to catch a breath). If you can leave your office and just sit outside or take a walk this is even better. It clears the mind and you disconnect from the weight of emotions in the room and knowing that there are people waiting to swarm you.

- Incorporate some type of exercise in your day. Make this your special time for you. No one is to bother you during this time. Stress builds up in the muscles and you need to release it. Disease and injuries will come about otherwise.

- Does your work have a psychologist or some sort that you can just spill everything to? You have no idea (or maybe you do) of how freeing it is to unload to a professional because they are non-judgemental and even the tiniest trick they give you will be amazing. Sure you have to leave work to do it, you know work is piling up while you are gone but just one session will make you feel so free!!! I guarantee this.

- I'm sure you're not eating properly and it goes with the kind of non-break, constant work you are involved in. But it's vital to eat properly. Even if this means just having baggies of nuts in your desk. Or a baggie of dates. Take a banana every day - it's portable, no washing involved, good energy. Stay away from the high useless carbs that make you spike and then drop - not only physically but emotionally. So skip pretzels and pre-packaged type snacks that are easy to shove in your desk for snacking. It's easy to pop an almond in your mouth between staff visits or just typing something out and you can eat all day like that.

Don't go back to the drink. You know how you felt when tied to it and how it was affecting your life. You are stronger than allowing something else to control you while you deal with this other huge issue in your life: making a living which is sucking your soul dry. And so is this how you want to live life? Yes money makes the world go round but perhaps assess if the job and wage is worth getting up every day to do it all over every day and trying to solve all the slackers' issues and trying to still do your own job.

Read up "emotional vampires". I am sure you have more than a few at work which are feeding off of you. Empower yourself.

Practice this: envisioning a protective bubble around yourself before you leave home for work. You are an empath and you are sucking up everyone else's energy around you. This must stop. It does't mean you don't care and it doesn't mean you aren't there to help them. But there are boundaries and you have to find your boundaries with them. These people are living beings but they are responsible for their own lives and work success. You matter just as much as they do. Trust me - the majority won't be there after they've used you all up and you are laying on the ground. These type of people simply move on to the next victim. Consider your true friends - the ones that would be there for you no matter the inconvenience no matter how much they felt your issue isn't a huge deal. You know they would be there for you because you matter so much to them. Focus on these people and don't give your entire self to the people at work who only view you as another faceless person that is filling their time while having to be at work. There is a huge difference trust me.

This is supposed to be a happy time in your life. You are getting married! I assume this IS the person you truly want to spend the rest of your life with? And you just lost someone dear to you. You are being suffocated with life my friend and it's going to take you out if you don't find a way to take control. I'm not saying you aren't doing that but ultimately that is what the big picture here is. Not coming down on you - but I have lived your issue (was not a manager) and I understand with every cell in my being how you express that you just want to shut off. I was fantasizing about how to end it all - while never intending to do - for years and having to walk out of my job but I was the sole provider of my family. Enter all the health issues that are still holding onto me now that in the end... my job was outsourced. I am finding myself again and it is a daily struggle but I am more than a mere job. And so are you!!! I'm here if you need to talk.

Hugs and all the best. You are loving, you are special, you are worthy and you matter. You are loved.

a reply to: Hijinx
Let it bleed

maybe a good musical will cheer you up

Predator: The Musical - If it bleeds, we can kill it.

a reply to: ShadowChatter

Ha ha that was awesome.