Feminist: Not Allowing Your Wife to Have Sex With Other Men is Sexist.

a reply to: rockpaperhammock

Typical Amerikan Female

Does he get to sleep with whom he has a desire to do so? Is it hot for her to hear how good she was in bed? Who watches the kids if both of them have dates and what about STD's?
a reply to: Konduit

a reply to: hydeman11

Howdy,

The Causal link is the relation other people draw between the institution of marriage and Neo-liberal agendas. Marriage is a specific cultural creation (in that it is specific to a culture). The legalization of "gay marriage" (something that is not recognized culturally by the predominant christian/american culture) in the united states, swung heavily in favor of minority cultures (people who want to get "gay married", in this case) which is largely seen to run contrary to any democratic system. So, like this video, a minority culture is attempting to force it's will upon the majority culture (regardless of weather it's right or wrong). It is totally normal and expected that people from the Majority culture are going to have their say about it. In the end, i think anyone that feels strongly about these issues is a total dullard.

Shine on,
Nom

A lot of feminist individuals on this thread are saying this has nothing to do with feminism... You're wrong, it doesn't have to do with YOUR feminism. You can even go to the comment section on the article where many are defending him and commenting that it's an interesting thought on feminism that they haven't considered, or even approving of it.

This may not be a widespread feminist view now, but I feel as if many people who identify as feminists are simply on a bandwagon. They might not have considered something before, but they read a feminist's article about it and BOOM, they suddenly consider or even agree. This isn't solely a feminist thing, this is basically any cause. People do it with their political and religious affiliations, among other things. It goes back to a lack of critical thinking ability.

With some of the absurd things I've seen from Internet feminists lately, this doesn't surprise me at all. It may not be YOUR feminism, but not all feminists agree on everything. Regardless, I applaud the feminists here who do not buy into this kind of thing.

This guy seems greatly in denial. And it's disturbing.

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: VictorVonDoom

... or maybe she's a serious b**** and he's a complete wimp who's majorly whipped?

Why is this all about how it's got to be his fault?

I get that the feminists don't like the idea that their ideology might have played a role in her behavior and treatment of her husband. And I get that the men don't like the idea that a fellow male could be so much a doormat that he'd let her mentally abuse him like this. But now you're all in collusion to blame the guy entirely.

Huh?

I'm not blaming anyone for anything.

A lot of threads on ATS get my blood boiling. Some bring up important facts or ideas. I don't see this as one of those threads. Nobody's getting hurt, nobody's getting killed, nobody's being oppressed, discriminated against, etc. To me, this is just a nonsense little thread about something that's nobody's business except the people involved. I'm just having a little fun with it. If these people are happy with their marriage, I'm sure it won't bother them too much if I point and laugh. And if it does bother them, oh well.

originally posted by: VictorVonDoom

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: VictorVonDoom

... or maybe she's a serious b**** and he's a complete wimp who's majorly whipped?

Why is this all about how it's got to be his fault?

I get that the feminists don't like the idea that their ideology might have played a role in her behavior and treatment of her husband. And I get that the men don't like the idea that a fellow male could be so much a doormat that he'd let her mentally abuse him like this. But now you're all in collusion to blame the guy entirely.

Huh?

I'm not blaming anyone for anything.

A lot of threads on ATS get my blood boiling. Some bring up important facts or ideas. I don't see this as one of those threads. Nobody's getting hurt, nobody's getting killed, nobody's being oppressed, discriminated against, etc. To me, this is just a nonsense little thread about something that's nobody's business except the people involved. I'm just having a little fun with it. If these people are happy with their marriage, I'm sure it won't bother them too much if I point and laugh. And if it does bother them, oh well.

Nobody is being hurt or oppressed? Read the full article--again if you have already. It SEEPS with pain. He even explicitly states the worry, humiliation, and pain he STILL deals with, like when she did not come home from a date nor text him/answer his calls. The entire piece seems to be a sad attempt at justifying something that deep down, he isn't okay with.

IMHO, this is emotional abuse by the wife to the husband. People seem "happy" in abusive relationships and stay in them all the time, and the justifications often used resemble this a great deal. This guy seems susceptible to suicide.

1956 Large scale clinical trials are conducted in Puerto Rico, where there were no anti-birth control laws on the books. The pill is deemed 100 percent effective, but some serious side effects are ignored.

1957 The FDA approves the pill, but only for severe menstrual disorders, not as a contraceptive. An unusually large number of women report severe menstrual disorders.

1960 The pill is approved for contraceptive use.



1962 It’s an instant hit. After two years, 1.2 million Americans women are on the pill; after three years, the number almost doubles, to 2.3 million.


At this point some would argue the beginnings of Feminism and moral decay. Now all accountability vanished....

a reply to: Achilles92x

If he's unhappy with his situation, he can just get a divorce.

a reply to: Konduit

Seems this guy has a bigger vagina than his wife.. and let's be honest.. hers must be pretty big after two kids and four "dates" a month.


Edit: my personal rant over.. this person seems confused where the line lies between equal rights for men and women, equal rights is what we all deserve and why in the 21st century females have as much opportunity as males to be the breadwinner.

What this guy is spouting about seems to be an odd situation in his life that he is looking for reasons to justify.

originally posted by: Plotus
At this point some would argue the beginnings of Feminism and moral decay. Now all accountability vanished....

Of course SOME would argue that was the start of moral decay. That's because SOME like to blame women for all the problems in the world. That's been the case since SOME blamed it all on EVE in the Garden. However, by now we should all know what a load of BS that is. It was BS then and it's BS now.

Feminism certainly has it's flaws in it's current state. Chauvinism hasn't done so well either unfortunately. I think it's time one side stops blaming the other and we work together to forge a better future. It's either that or we just continue to run in circles forever blaming each other.

LOL

Just ridiculous.

Monogamy has nothing to do with being anti feminist. It has to do with being loyal to your chosen partner.

Your CHOSEN partner.

If this guy is allowing it, and his "wife" is doing it willfully, then hey, more power to them.

But it is NOT feminism.

It's simply having an affair.

I pity this wimp. Even of he is enjoying the perversion in it all. I pity him. Poor bastard just doesn't have it in him to stand up for himself and uses the greatest self destruct weapon there is... Rationale.

originally posted by: VictorVonDoom
a reply to: Achilles92x

If he's unhappy with his situation, he can just get a divorce.

Hm, I think you're missing the point. He CAN get a divorce, sure. But, there are plenty of people in unhappy, abusive marriages who feel trapped for one reason or another. This man is clearly unhappy and trapped in an abusive marriage.

originally posted by: beezzer
Whatever happened to traditional marriage where the husband works 60 hours a week, the wife grows bitter and resentful and starts drinking then after decades of marriage she finally poisons her husband and gets away with it and lives in Rio on the insurance?

AH you and I pine for the good old days Beezzer

originally posted by: mOjOm

originally posted by: Plotus
At this point some would argue the beginnings of Feminism and moral decay. Now all accountability vanished....

Of course SOME would argue that was the start of moral decay. That's because SOME like to blame women for all the problems in the world. That's been the case since SOME blamed it all on EVE in the Garden. However, by now we should all know what a load of BS that is. It was BS then and it's BS now.

Feminism certainly has it's flaws in it's current state. Chauvinism hasn't done so well either unfortunately. I think it's time one side stops blaming the other and we work together to forge a better future. It's either that or we just continue to run in circles forever blaming each other.

Blaming Eve in the Garden is a flawed interpretation of the story that some people have unfortunately held. I have not encountered a single individual personally who believes that women cause all the problems in the world. I'm sure they're out there, so forgive me for my lack of experience with them. I have encountered a plethora of feminists who blame men for everything (i.e. The Patriarchy, and Rape Culture claims), and people who blame white people for everything, particularly the straight white male. I've seen equally idiotic views that certain minorities are the root of all problems. Or ones that claim particular religions are the root of all problems. All are equally stupid in my eyes.

Unfortunately, I do think that feminism has lost its purpose in the Western World and thus has contributed to a moral decline, but this doesn't mean all feminists have contributed toward it, but rather the prominent radicals who are most vocal and manipulate the others. There's a reason that 78% of women do not consider themselves feminists. Some argue that it is due to ONLY the stigma associated with the word, but even if that's true, it's a stigma that has come from those vocal, radical few.

I do not think that the original goal of equality has contributed toward anything negative. The inequality needed to change, and the world is better for it. But I fear that the goal of modern feminism is superiority, not equality--and I'm far from the only person who feels that way, and that's not a view limited to men. I'm in my twenties and I know vastly more women who agree than ones who disagree.

"6 months and an ocean of wine"

Yeah. He's just fine with it.

a reply to: Konduit

He's an idiot?

Sorry if that offends anyone, but come on; using a political belief to excuse an open marriage? And if that's what it is, why isn't he out on a date as well? She ought to be ashamed, and he needs to wise up.

If I wasn't married married I'd be all over her. Oh wait...

Your wife is going out on dates and having sex with other men?

Lol feminism aside, looks like you need to learn to get your game on.

Pathetic

Oh good, I was going to post this earlier this morning when I caught onto it on Facebook. What would happen if a man said that he wanted an open relationship because he was a feminist and didn't want to oppress his wife?

The other thoughts I've had about this story were health issues. Are they using protection? What if she gets an STD or has a kid with another guy on accident? How will it affect their family and kids? What is the real emotional impact on the father (and the kids) is the father simply in denial?

These are questions I have about the piece.

I think the foundation of the piece is that men keeping women from sleeping with other men is sexist. I can see this because any situation where the woman doesn't have a say in her own life because a man tells her what to do is sexist. These two had a lot of talks about the issue before coming to the conclusion that they wanted an open marriage. That sounds like they are on the right track. I think considering the open marriage and both discussing it together was a good idea, although there are health issues that I mentioned above.

However, I don't think it is sexist to have a monogamous marriage if both parties agree that is what they want to do. I also think that the man should have a say. If the man who wrote this article doesn't like the fact that his wife is sleeping with multiple other men, he should have a say in that. Considering that they had a lot of talks about it, I think he probably did have a say. But he could also be in denial.