Men Don't DO Subtle!

Men Don't do "subtle"

Has anybody else noticed this?

Here's an example. At the end of my hall there is a halltable, with a lamp in the center, and a bowl of rough minerals and crystals in it, slightly in front of, and a little askew of the lamp. I have a female guest in my guestroom. After one night, I notice the items on the table have been rearranged. The lamp is now on one end, and the bowl of minerals is on the other end of the table.

I don't care for it. I put it back the way it was. She doesn't touch it again for the remainder of her visit. Without saying a word we understand what has happened. It's never mentioned.

Consider a male guest, same scenario. I put the items back the way they were originally. The next day he has put them back the way he likes them. Again, I move them back to the original position. He again changes them. We are longtime friends, so I say "why do you keep moving the things on the halltable around? He is like -- WHAT? OH! I didn't realize, I'm sorry! Why didn't you just tell me?
I told him I was being subtle. He actually blushed and said "but, you know, men don't do subtle". (yes, I know).

Seriously, did he think we'd had an earthquake two nights in a row? Nope. He just didn't think about it period.

One more example. I am in the bathroom brushing my teeth. He thinks of something he MUST tell me right away, so he comes in the bathroom. After he leaves, I close the bathroom door. Guess what? He has a follow-up to what he told me earlier, (something equally as urgent and fascinating) and comes right in again -- well, cracks the door and talks through the crack.

Why? Because men don't do subtle.

A woman would have thought 'uh oh" and waited.

So is it the testosterone or what? Is it like testosterone refrigerator blindness? Kind of a testosterone subtlety immune-ness thing going on?

I'd say it's more a case of your male guest being a boor rather than "all men are "x."

Subtlety has its uses. Other times it doesn't. Some people know this, others don't.

One more example, You should have left the hall table the way he arranged it!

a reply to: Shamrock6

Say What? lol -- please don't insult my house guests!

a reply to: ladyinwaiting

Well.

Actually a girl on this site kept saying I was being too subtle.
What does he mean??
"I don't like subtle." she says.. I could actually source that.

oh yea, I'm a dude.

Your arrangement sounds better in my imagination though.

a reply to: ladyinwaiting

I don’t do subtle men

god sorry couldn’t help it

a reply to: ladyinwaiting

If you don't want people walking in the bathroom then you should lock the door.

a reply to: ladyinwaiting

Sounds like the man was very compassionate and wise, choosing to employ the noble art of feng shui to improve the lives of all who pass through your home, only to have his fine efforts destroyed two days in a row. So kind, humble and passive was the noble Sir that he chose the most non-confrontational response he could muster in face of your violation of furniture etiquette, and through his love he chose not to impose his beliefs of feng shui on you.

Women just arent subtle enough to understand!

a reply to: Reverbs
I think subtlety has it's place. I like it. It can save having to have 'words' at times.

originally posted by: BelowLowAnnouncement
a reply to: ladyinwaiting

Sounds like the man was very compassionate and wise, choosing to employ the noble art of feng shui to improve the lives of all who pass through your home, only to have his fine efforts destroyed two days in a row. So kind, humble and passive was the noble Sir that he chose the most non-confrontational response he could muster in face of your violation of furniture etiquette, and through his love he chose not to impose his beliefs of feng shui on you.

Women just arent subtle enough to understand!

Oh God Thank you! It's so nice to have someone with a sense of humor and some insight arrive!

a reply to: Reverbs

Your arrangement sounds better in my imagination though.

Thanks! There is no question about that!

a reply to: ladyinwaiting

I fail to see how an anecdote or two about the same person describe the entire gender. I can see how this would be a GREAT stand up comedy routine though.

a reply to: ladyinwaiting

Meh. Somebody who's opening bathroom doors on somebody else is rather boorish.

Has nothing to do with subtlety imho

a reply to: ladyinwaiting

I know a few women, one in particular who also lacks the nuanced approach you favour. She was not one to make overtures toward one, if she sought ones physical attention. You could be stood in the middle of a packed bar, drinking a beer with your friends, and she would just walk right up to you, tell you to finish your drink, and then literally try to lead you away by your dangly parts.

I, of course, am a gentleman, and do not appreciate such behaviour, any more than you enjoy having your private bathroom time usurped by interloping visitors and their ill timed desire to waffle.

I think it is fair to say, that some people lack subtlety, but I do not believe in the least, that this is a trait exclusively to be found in males. Spend a little time in Essex, England, and I promise you, any notion you have which sees men as being the prime examples of a lack of nuance, will be banished from your mindscape with a speed most alarming.

a reply to: TrueBrit

I was hoping you would show up here, and without question, you understand subtlety, because you are beautifully, and deliciously civilized. I cannot for a minute imagine that you would rearrange someone's décor without first commenting about it, and maybe even make a -subtle- suggestion. : )

....And that woman needs to keep her hands off your dangly parts!

a reply to: Krazysh0t

Actually, it was intended to be a little tongue-in-cheek, and ya, I thought it was funny.

a reply to: ladyinwaiting

Well then we are in agreement. I DID after all say it would make a good stand up routine.

Actually, men do "subtle".

We had to.

When early men would leave the women and children behind to hunt, the men had to communicate without talking. Hand gestures, facial expressions, body movements -- all of these were important to "the hunt".

It's arguable that females developed verbal language. It was the female gender that had time while sitting at camp taking care of the children, foraging for plants/berries, making home implements, and such. Things needed to be named, and women had the time and safety to sit and point at things and name them.

Men had to rely on stealth, speed and strength. Without being able to understand your hunting partner silently, the kill wouldn't be a success and the tribe would starve.

Men do subtle, just not in the same way women do...

In your situation, he was being a subtle man.

"THIS is how it is supposed to be". Instead of just telling you that, he was being subtle by just changing it again and again.

I don't know about the rearranging things, because I personally wouldn't think I could go around rearranging other people's things to begin with.

As for the bathroom part, isn't that an estrogen thing?! The important subjects always seem come up with my wife when I'm in the bathroom. I'm like, I just saw you 20 seconds ago face-to-face, and you choose to converse with me now?

a reply to: ladyinwaiting

Well, I would never presume upon a hostess to give her advice on the arrangement of any assortment of things, without a significant period of close association, and without being asked to offer an opinion! That would be utterly ungentlemanly. I certainly would not take it upon myself to actually MOVE things in someones house, unless I had been expressly asked to do so.

And on the matter of certain people keeping their hands to themselves, I am in total agreement upon that point. I am not adverse to female attention, far from it. But there are ways of going about these things, and getting a fistfull of ones equipment without clear invitation is not one of them.

All that being said, it is an overstatement bordering on fallacy to suggest that I am civilised! I may post with all the verbosity of an Oxford don, when the mood is upon me to do so, but I can assure you, I have the capacity to be a thoroughly coarse, potty mouthed brute, just as any other fellow from my background and geographical location has. I simply choose to employ these things with a little flair