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originally posted by: chiefsmom
Most of the time, I have to say yes.
I do believe, there are RARE cases, when someone cheats, that it can be a one time thing. But that couple has to have some type of counseling, that both will completely commit to. Because there will be a trust issue as well.
But I do think the self respect/esteem issue has merit. You need to believe you deserve better, to not tolerate it, by either leaving, or demanding the counseling for the both of you.
Hi. I have never been cheated on and am married for 25 years,
originally posted by: signalfire
Maybe you should reconsider the entire concept of 'cheating'.
Do you own this other person, your spouse? Do you have their best interests at heart, or do you think they have to stay in one relationship, forever and ever, and never talk to another person, never like another person, never love another person? Or at least never love another person in 'that way?'
If you stay with your significant other after they cheat on you does that mean you don't respect yourself?
originally posted by: intrptr
a reply to: jhn7537
If you stay with your significant other after they cheat on you does that mean you don't respect yourself?
Depends on the cheat. Did they admit it or get found out? Was it just once or a fling of flings? Did they apologize or make excuses?
If they got found out and resist coming clean yah, dump time. This person has no respect for anyone but themselves.
On the other hand, everyone should forgive if someone makes a mistake, comes clean and shows remorse.
originally posted by: jhn7537
If you stay with your significant other after they cheat on you does that mean you don't respect yourself?
I wonder how often people come clean though…
originally posted by: Benevolent Heretic
originally posted by: jhn7537
If you stay with your significant other after they cheat on you does that mean you don't respect yourself?
It absolutely depends. On the couple, their other issues, the strength of their marriage, the willingness to forgive, the remorse shown by the cheater, their ability to rebuild trust, their communication, and your own self-esteem.
Cheating is a mistake. People make mistakes. So many people think it's the one mistake they would not permit and that's OK. But I absolutely believe a marriage can survive it.
I do agree with chiefsmom that counseling is probably the best way to deal with the lost trust and respect. But if you've been cheated on and come through it without counseling, I wouldn't worry about what people say. Only you know if you respect yourself and can rebuild the trust.
originally posted by: jheated5
a reply to: signalfire
So instead of owning someone, you'd rather just have them as a rental?