annoying neighbors...do yours get on your nerves?

i wish i could build a wall around my house or buy myself an acre of land or something...
im so annoyed with my neighbor. i dont want to live in the country miles away from a store but i would like to have a couple hundred yards between my house and the neighbor...

my neighbor does not seem like a bad guy. he does not have parties and he's not real loud but damn is he one annoying bastard.

he knocks on my door all the time. he just bought a smart phone so he knocks and asks me questions about it.
he has an exhaust leak on his car so he knocks on my door to ask about it.
he's already knocked twice today.....

he is kind of a jerk when it comes to this example.

sunday it was about 2pm so i figured i would try to take a nap. wife and daughter were sleeping so i figured i would try. not even 5 minutes after i layed down i heard the hedge trimmer start up. i have hedges that run the length of my house and yeah, they were over grown. keep in mind these bushes are not on the side that his house is on.
anyway, 5 minutes in to me trying to nap i hear it fire up and then right outside my window the trimming starts. wondering whats going on...kind of annoyed cause i wanted to nap but whatev...it was the afternoon. i thought maybe my other neighbor, the one whos house is on the other side of the bushes hired someone to trim them.
so i go out and sure as hell, its the annoying neighbor that lives on the other side.
i ask him what the hell he is doing and he said he just got his trimmers back and he was working in his yard he thought he would just knock them out.
now sound bitchy right? whats the complaint?
the complaint is he does stuff like this all the time under the guise of just being a nice neighbor. what happens though is days or even weeks later he comes to the door and asks me for something. i say no and then it starts...."but man a week ago i cut your bushes for you...now i need a favor like i did for you"
this pisses me off so bad. it pisses me off because i didnt ask for him to trim the bushes. he just decides he is going to do it and then he feels like i owe him a favor in return.
i have an f-150 so he always knocks and asks if i can take him here or there to pick up this or that...he gets free crap all the time through people he meets at his work and he has a sedan so he needs help picking something up.
when i say no then he brings up something he recently did for me...

i have lived in this house almost 2 years and i have never knocked on his door to ask for anything... this dude knocks all the time.

i hate it.

i try not to stir up crap with the people around me...i dont want tension.

ive told him that my wife and i are home bodies and we just like to be left alone. i have to remind him of that every so often and of course its "oh yeah man...i understand"....then i am good for a week or two and then it starts again.

its true though. i dont want to be bothered. the neighbor on the other side of me dont do that and i dont do it to her. 2 years here and i dont even know her name. we will exchange a wave but thats about it.
only interaction i ever had with her was at the start of summer. i was cutting my grass and she was trying to get her started and couldnt. i went and started it, she said thanks and that was it.

not this dude though.
its is a several times a week thing. car problems..needs a ride...has a question about his whatever....
between that and the crap he does as a 'favor' only to call in the marker later bothers me big time.

i guess im just going to wait till i get to the end of my rope and tell him the same thing but not be so nice about it.

anyway, this is the rant section and this is my rant.

any of you have neighbors that suck??

I don't know, but it sure was nice to have a neighbor like that when Mother Nature dropped 10+" of snow on us and he had a lawn tractor with a plow attachment and dug out the whole neighborhood ... you know ... cause he could. And then there was the time he and all the rest of the neighbors got out and helped push people up the icy stretch of road the city absolutely refuses to plow so that people could ... you know ... get out and go to work and stuff. Then, there was the time he let us load up our yard branches into the back of his truck after that big storm blew through because our little sedan wouldn't hold them all and he had plenty of room after loading up his stuff.

So, you know, you think about him and send over a plate of cookies or chip for gas money or offer to help when he's painting his house and stuff.

It's called being considerate because you never know when you might actually really need to lean on your neighbors.

Yeah, that is way too much. He has found your weak spot and is taking huge advantage of it. Nip it in the bud by telling him that is not how you operate in life. Not being left alone is really annoying.

I have a neighbor that sometimes need a little help but it is so small that it is not something to be upset about. And she wants to pay me for the help but I do not want the money.

The whole forced help to later on blackmail you to help is not kosher in my book.

Tell your neighbor that if he wants a help deal/transaction like in an economic system then tell him to make the deal before the implementation since you will not deal with him when he is forcing deals.

Get window tints or dark heavy curtains.
Put up no trespassing signs.
Put a do not disturb on your front door.
Get a security camera.
Don't answer the door if he knocks.
Get a big dog. Train him to bite your neighbor. Tie dog to porch with long chain.

He'll get the hint eventually.

originally posted by: ketsuko


So, you know, you think about him and send over a plate of cookies or chip for gas money or offer to help when he's painting his house and stuff.

It's called being considerate because you never know when you might actually really need to lean on your neighbors.

im lost,,,

i should be considerate and send over cookies or give him gas money....why?

cause he does stuff for me all the time that i dont want him to do. things i didnt ask him to do...then he asks me for favors because he helped me...cause he knocks on my door all the time???

not happening....on top of him bothering me all the time i should feed him and give him gas money??
strange

a reply to: grey580

did most of that.
i have curtains you cant see through. i have a no trespassing and a no soliciting sign on my door. we have a dog.

dont help.

still though, i shouldnt have to put up with it.

i am pretty brash in general and dont have a problem telling people exactly whats what. i just am trying to be very nice about this cause i have to live next to him but it is getting old.

i dont mind helping people here and there but he knocks all the time....

i dont want to be bothered and i shouldnt have to deal with it.

a reply to: CardiffGiant

Sounds like a top tier d-bag. It sounds to me like maybe the only thing this guy will understand is a nice, firm "gtfo". I know how uncomfortable it can be to confront someone in such a manner but it may be necessary.

I just recently moved from a bad neighborhood myself. One time some guy at the next house over had someone over and the guy's car got robbed. Another time at the same place another dude was waiting out front and these two dudes rushed his car, pistol whipped the poor kid and carjacked him, he came over to our place to use a phone. Then other numerous incidents of street-fights, weapon brandishing and other unsavory behavior.

It was a bad neighborhood. I'm glad to be gone. Until recently I had not sat outside (well, at my personal residence at any rate) in three years.

Hope you work things out with your neighbor, good luck!

Kallisti

I had an acquaintance like that for a while. He had no social skills and all the time in the world so he would always just give you things and do things for you, kind of forcing you to be nice to him. There was no way that you could keep up and reciprocate if you had a normal life to deal with. I had to jut terminate any interaction with him. He had other mental issues too. An extreme horder, didn't take care of himself, always doing the friendship rebound "Sorry I'm changing my ways" thing, lived on two large bottles of Pepsi a day, etc. A recipe for disaster.

originally posted by: LittleByLittle


The whole forced help to later on blackmail you to help is not kosher in my book.

Tell your neighbor that if he wants a help deal/transaction like in an economic system then tell him to make the deal before the implementation since you will not deal with him when he is forcing deals.

i dont do the stuff for him..
he will trim the bushes and then a week later ask if i can take him to pick something up..when i say no then he says but remember last week i did the bushes...

i say yeah i do man but i didnt ask you to do that...after that for the most part it is dropped..
bu it will happen again.

he just tries to you know.

im not going to do # for him cause he thinks i owe him....

if i ever asked a neighbor for a favor i would have no problem doing a favor for them...
this dude does crap i dont ask for though...

it just seems like it is all the time....

they have this little crap 4 foot pool they put up every year. this year 3 times my wife and i were sitting in the front with our daughter and he comes over...of course he needs help. his cheap ass hose that goes from the pool to his cheap ass pump is leaking and of course he has no idea how to fix so here he is asking me...

he got a free trampoline about 2 months ago and of course had no idea how to put it together so he is asking me..

i just want to be able to sit in my yard and not be bothered.

i want to be on waving terms with my neighbors and thats about as far as i want it to go

this dude sucks

maybe i am being too nice and just need to tell him exactly what time it is

It's funny, most people don't know what boundaries are anymore. This is an age old problem. I'd bet there versions of it in the bible or somewhere.

Get what my downstairs neighbor did. I'm a carpenter and I like garden. He just moved here from Brooklyn. So I built a whole bunch of planters and raised beds for a garden and shared the space with him. I supplied the lumber and soil and he helped a little bit so we shared the space. I had a great garden going all spring and summer.

So him and his wife, being true to the city folk form, hate all bugs and spiders and really don't spend much time outside. Although also being good city folk they proclaim all the benefits of organic food, yoga, all that stuff. Well now they have literally poisoned off all of the bees than live in the yard and squashed all the spiders and just about anything else that resided out there. I kept my mouth shut and politely tried to educate them about the benefits of bees in the garden and let it go. But that wasn't enough. They decided to sit out one night, but got "eaten alive" by Mosquitos. I'm out there all the time and rarely get bitten.

So I come home one day and he's telling me about how the perimeter spray isn't killing the mosquitos. Meanwhile his puppy is rolling around eating all the grass. His pregnant wife is telling him he didn't use enough and he's saying that he used three whole bottles...

After the puppy puked all over his house and he got off the phone with poison control I politely shook his hand goodnight and said goodby to my fabulous new garden. Now I just look out the window at it every morning in sadness and think about how much a waste of time it was. I still keep it up but have resided to just thinking of it as a learning experience.

I need a new place that's all to myself as well.
Good luck with that OP, I don't have any suggestions other than being an ass and informing the neighbor that he needs to learn a few boundaries before he comes nocking.

You teach people how to treat you.

When he tries to 'guilt' you into doing things for him, instead of falling for it politely remind him that you didn't ask for his help and he didn't ask if you wanted it. If he HAD asked, you would have said 'no thank you'.

If he gets mad about it, then you would be safe to assume he may use doing things for others as a way to manipulate them into doing his bidding.

Going onto somebody elses property and doing things without their knowledge or permission isn't respecting them, or their right to privacy. Maybe he doesn't know any better. Maybe you can define your boundaries in clearer terms for him, so he knows where you stand.

a reply to: CagliostroTheGreat

im not in a bad neighborhood though...nothing really pops off around here. we did get a rock tossed through our window this summer but i chalked that up to dumb ass kids.

nothing happens.

cars are not flying up and down the streets. there are not stray animals roaming around. all the houses and yards look nice and are kept up with.
same with him.
his yard is clean. he does not have # laying all over the place. he does not party all night and blast music..nothing like that.
he is just annoying as all hell.

he has no mechanical skills at all and over the course of living next to him for 2 years little by little he has found out that i am very mechanical and fix this or that and since he cant he asks me to.

i am not usually uncomfortable confronting people about anything...
when it comes to your neighbors though i feel like i need to be a little softer.

things happen. feuds start. you know

originally posted by: nugget1
You teach people how to treat you.

When he tries to 'guilt' you into doing things for him, instead of falling for it politely remind him that you didn't ask for his help and he didn't ask if you wanted it. If he HAD asked, you would have said 'no thank you'.

If he gets mad about it, then you would be safe to assume he may use doing things for others as a way to manipulate them into doing his bidding.

Going onto somebody elses property and doing things without their knowledge or permission isn't respecting them, or their right to privacy. Maybe he doesn't know any better. Maybe you can define your boundaries in clearer terms for him, so he knows where you stand.

yeah, im just going to have to get a little more firm when i talk to him. winter is almost here so i know i wont see him for several months so thats good. at the start of spring though i will be seeing him.

he tries to lay the guilt. its not even a thing where i fall for it. 95% of the time when he asks for something i dont do it even when he starts saying what he did for me lately. thats exactly what i say...
i tell him i didnt ask him to do it and thats that.
the point is though he keeps with the knocking.....

the other 5% of the time i will help him but it depends on what it is. i dont go anywhere oor take him anywhere but if he needs the pump on his pool looked at or something i might do it...

usually he will say something like "hey man, you busy i need a favor"

it would be easier for me if he was mean or something like that. hes not. he does seem friendly but # man, take the hint and leave me alone.

another thing that bothers me is he knows i was in an accident. he knows i got my hand ripped up and lost a finger. he knows im in pain all the time and cant really do much anymore..
he still asks favors....like labor favors?

i would never ask my neighbor for a favor that involved labor if i knew he got his finger cut off less than 2 years ago and is in pain all the time....i would never do ti

Used to have a neighbor just like the one your dealing with, never once did I ever ask them for help, but they were the worst users and abusers of favors, help, etc. We finally just had to cold shoulder them to get it to stop. I'm all for helping out or receiving help from a neighbor if you need it, but don't be a leechy neighbor unless you want all your neighbors to despise you.

Example: The neighbor's computer power supply takes a dump and they have no clue. After diagnosing the problem I offer them a new spare power supply I have lying around at cost ($35). They can't pay immediately (which is ok) but they can pay me next Friday. Four weeks later I finally have to ask them for the money.

I will say this, the husband of this dynamic duo was so inept at completing even the simplest home repair that it always ended up in a disaster, and that's when they would show up looking for help. My wife and I would feel sorry for his wife, so we would try to help out. We finally couldn't deal with it anymore and just had to stop all communication with them, which is really tough to do since you live right next to them, but trust me it can be done.

It is for this reason that I reside on 5+ acres in a home that is not visible from any road.

I have neighbors that I am friendly with, but it's not convenient for them to stop by. Usually, if they stop in, they drive.

Having lived this remote lifestyle for some time now, it would be difficult for me to go back to the "Can I borrow a cup of sugar?" lifestyle.

There is very little crime here, and the property has the appearance of "do not mess with this household."

To each their own; I simply prefer a little distance between me and the Jones'.

Maybe he was just annoyed at how crappy your "overgrown" hedges were looking. Maybe he was tired of the neighborhood looking like trash because you would rather take a nap during the middle of the day than take care of your yard.

Two words for next time he comes knocking.
F#%$ OFF!
SLAM!

I can totally relate to your problems with this guy. Used to have neighbors exactly like him.
You try and be kind and not start trouble, but some people just can't take a hint.
Also as others have said, he's found a way to manipulate you with the "Awww, I scratched your back earlier, now you can scratch mine" BS.

Best thing you can do is be honest and just tell him flat out what you think and how you feel. Worked for me anyway.
Only you can decide if it will work or not.

As for my current neighbors...
I live in the country and I'm right next to an old cemetery. Best neighbors ever! EVER!

I have a neighbor that would get on great with your one , He is a nosy prick and wants to know what is going on in everybody's life in the area and they hate him ,He grasses everyone to the cops ,going round checking cars for road tax in the middle of the night ,and on the phone to the cops if kids are playing with a ball in the street .

But i have never put a rubbish bin out in 3 + years my upstairs neighbor does it and goes out to brush the street at 6 am . i have caught him out in our shared yard at 4.30 am right under my window , yet all the other people around are great , it is a good area where you can leave the door unlocked .


MY advice get a chainsaw out when he is not around and cut the bushes down stick them in you;re f150 and off to the dump and ignore the door or start talking about Jesus ,that scares most folk away

originally posted by: Bovah
Maybe he was just annoyed at how crappy your "overgrown" hedges were looking. Maybe he was tired of the neighborhood looking like trash because you would rather take a nap during the middle of the day than take care of your yard.

yeah thats it.

he was annoyed at my bushes that are not even on his side. the bushes are between my house and my other neighbors house.

even if that was the case which its not you dont just go into peoples yard and start working.

you and him would probably get along well seeing as youre annoying too