Lost my job, and both my parents within two months. Seeking advice.

Hello ATS,

I just wanted to share a bit of my story, and ask for some guidance through the most turbulent time in my life.

A little about myself:

I am a few years divorced, with no kids and I just turned 29 on July 25. I was working for Electronic Arts as basically customer service from home, before my position along with about 200 other contractors were no longer needed. We were taking chat contacts from home, and then those positions were outsourced to India. Since then I've been trying to obtain unemployment, but recently lost my mom (May 27 2014) to respiratory failure, and then my dad (July 23 2014) to a stroke.

They left me without any possibility of survivors benefits either retirement nor social security. The house they lived in for over 25 years is in foreclosure, and now I have POA I am afraid to speak with the bank that holds the mortgage in fear of them removing me due to not having any source of income at this time.

I have applied for EBT, which won't take effect for another few weeks/month, and have an interview with a position with Amazon this Thursday. However, I am completely broke having used the last bit of my dad's retirement to keep the lights, cable, and car insurance paid. My family has helped me somewhat but they can only do so much.

Since then, I have set up a donation page for my mom, which I updated to include my dad in hopes of raising enough to pay the back end of the mortgage owed on the house so I may try to qualify for an equity based loan, or even sell the house. However, I have not met my goal.

I am at my wit's end and not sure what else I can do until I can start earning income, but even then I am still in a very real possibility of becoming homeless.

What would you do if you were in my position?

Hope this finds you all in good health, and high spirits.

If I were you, I would apply for college and financial aid. Also look into grants that are available in your situtation. You should at least be able to recover while staying in the dorms. The school will also help you find a job. That is the best solution I can give you at the moment. That is if you have your GED or HSD. Your still young. You need to be persistant.

Sorry for your loss. My condolences.

a reply to: Kevinquisitor

First of all: Sorry for your loss! This is really a bad situation to loose your parents and at quite the same time.

I don't know much about the laws in USA but here in germany one can reject the heritage of a family member, well knowing that he or she has debts you wouldn't be able to pay.

So the first question would be if you accepted the heritage or not and if you considered a lawyer?

Second question: What did you learn. I mean, do you have any kind of apprenticeship or something you can rely on to search for a new job? Working for some big company in a call center isn't what i would call a great future but if it pays the bills, while you are about to study or something it's ofc ok.

Third question: Are you alone or do you have siblings, who can support you?

It's important to speak to each other in such a hard time.

Im sorry for your loss. I have no advice to give you except to keep your head up. You are still a young man, and this is an important lesson that you must learn. It's hard to give advice because I am not present in your life and do not see your situation clearly. But there is always the opportunity to take new paths. You are both divorced and have lost your mother and your father, why not go somewhere else? It may sound stupid on my part to say it, but there are opportunities elsewhere too. I wish you all the best.

a reply to: Kevinquisitor
I don't know if I'm any help but is there any bills such as lights or water in your name that ties you to that house? Check out your states squatter laws and rights. They may not be able to make you just up and leave. This could buy you some time.

a reply to: Kevinquisitor

Deeply sorry...
That is beyond tragic. As has been said, you are young. If there are any jobs in the area or if you wish to settle there, do so. If not, the world is your oyster. Think of what YOU want to do with your Life. After my separation, homelessness, etc. I had to seriously look at what I wanted to do with the rest of my Life. I have two children, though, or else I would have applied for a visa anywhere (especially somewhere warm)...but the kids come first.

I see your mood listed as determined...DON'T give up. Even if someone tells you no or it cannot be done...

Make sure you have plenty of people offline who can support you emotionally. That is key right now. You need to feel and let those feelings out in a nondestructive way.

Sending my thoughts your way...

a reply to: Kevinquisitor

You should join the French Foreign Legion.

Lol.

Hope things work out for you.

a reply to: Kevinquisitor

There are charities and Government grants you can get to help pay on some of the bills. Just get on the 'net and look up bill pay help and mortgage grants. Hope that helps and sorry for the loss you are going through.

Thank you for your replies,

To answer some questions I have some college education left unfinished. I still have two years left on my bachelor's in Science for game design.

My professional background lies in customer service and sales so that's where I'm headed back to currently. It's not something I really enjoy doing but I'll take to do anything I can right now.

I would love to travel abroad, maybe obtain a TEFL certification in teaching English in another country. But first i need to tie up everything on this end. I have no ties to my parents house as far as utilities are concerned.

Also, I don't have any siblings, I am the only offspring of my parents.

Hope this provides some insight. I really like the idea of returning to school.

My heart truly goes out to you - soooooo many losses! You truly are in a bad place right now and you are at your most vulnerable and weekest point in the road. But a road it is my friend and the road has many turns and hurdles to climb.
Stand up son and look for that place within and find that ball of energy - there is only one way left to go and that is forward and up! You are young and strong though I know it doesn't feel like it right now but you will find the strength - do you know why? Because you have to!
Shed your old garments - move on - PRESS THE RESET BUTTON! It is time to go see what the world holds for you - it still has much to offer - go find it with determination and don't look back.
Let go of the house and all it's financial burdens - act quickly to find a new direction and a new home - it doesn't need to be a palace - just somewhere you feel warm and safe and somewhere to lick your wounds then dust yourself down and you know the rest ......
Every journey starts with a first step and fate has forced you upon it - go with it and find the excitement in life that you deserve - it is waiting for you!
GOOD LUCK from an old lady who cares X

a reply to: Kevinquisitor
There is a place in Atlanta, called Home Safe, that is offering free help to pay mortgages if you lost your job. You could call and ask them if they have help in your locality.

Contact a bankruptcy or probate, or property attorney. Who actually owns the house right now? If the house is being tied up in the courts due to wills, and probate, the mortgage company can't do anything until that's decided.

If your parents were on Medicare or Medicaid, the government WILL take monies back from what is in their estate to repay the Feds. This is fact, so you may end up out of the house, anyway.

One way to combat this is, short sale the house if it is worth more than the Feds are owed, which most homes are. The Feds, otherwise, will take the house, sale it for whatever they feel is due, and if they get more, they will most certainly not give you back any overage. Trust me on this, and beat them to the punch. If the house belongs to all of the siblings, again, a short sale, and divide the cash is likely the best answer.

Once a home goes into foreclosure, technically speaking, you only have 90 days for the foreclosure to complete, and the default to be final. Do not drag your feet on this. Once it reaches the foreclosure state, you cannot short sale the home.

Also, once a home is foreclosed nowadays, it takes the bank anywhere from 6 months to a year to actually evict, in MOST cases. Banks are overwhelmed, still, with foreclosure properties. They move quickly on the paperwork, but not so fast on the take back or maintenance or resale of the actual property.

If there are no back taxes, and your parents were not on Medicare or Medicaid, hence owed Uncle Sam nothing, the only remaining question will be, what about when they died? Did they have substantial medical bills? If the home was transferred in title to one of you kids before their death, you are not responsible for their debt, therefore the house is clean. You can get a quick title and lean search on the property at the local courthouse to see. Then, a listing in the paper is all that is needed, declaring that you owe no debt not secured by you. This way, you are clear to short sale. Usually, the attorney will place the add in the paper, but doing it yourself will save you the money.

In other words, it may be financially better, if they had a lot of debt, to let it go, and concentrate on spending what little monies you can come by in finding a new place and taking care of yourself. Beware if the home is tied up in probate, or has questionable debt, you may not remove anything from the home they owned. Not furniture, appliances, televisions, jewelry, nothing. By law, it belongs to the estate, so be cautious.

This is why I said you need to consult an attorney asap, lots of personal stuff you may not wish to disclose.

The questions asked were not meant to be answered in this forum, but for you, personally, to see where you stand.

Good luck, and take care. You have just suffered through the top most stressful events in life in a short time. Take care of yourself.

originally posted by: Kevinquisitor


Also, I don't have any siblings, I am the only offspring of my parents.

Hope this provides some insight. I really like the idea of returning to school.

Being the only child will work in your favor with the grants that are available and also financial aid. Those are the questions that they ask on the applications.
Finish school.

originally posted by: Kevinquisitor
To answer some questions I have some college education left unfinished. I still have two years left on my bachelor's in Science for game design.

Hell, go for it! This sounds pretty good but of course you first need to get your situation fixed and i think Libertygal showed some good ways to do so.

Best luck to you!

Sorry.

Get a flatmate to team up with. Internet is full of con artists so watch out. While waiting for work, keep applying. Find food box programs, church help programs.

Sell plasma, sperm. What? Money is money, just enough to the next tide. Beg if it's legal.

a reply to: Kevinquisitor

So sorry for your loss. Try to see this as the start of a new and far different life and future for you. This difficult time will pass, but I know that doesnt make you feel any better right now. Things have a way of working themselves out over time, and Im positive yours will too.

Something my mother told me in a note I found to me after she passed away. She said and I quote..."Don't think of me as gone. I'm just AWAY for awhile. We'll see each other again sometime soon." That helped.

As difficult as it is for you now...and it may seem that it cant get any worse or harder...it will get better for you. Always let us know how you are doing and if we can help in any way.

God Bless.....MS

I am so very sorry for your loss. You are going through an awful lot for someone so young and I wish you success and a world of love. Do whatever you need to do to keep your head above water. Eventually things will fall into place. Do you have any Aunts or Uncles or close friends you could live with for a while until you get on your feet? If you need someone to talk to I am just a U2U away. Hugs!!

I would like to offer my deepest condolences, and as for advice I guess all I can say is don't give up..I have been homeless before, and struggled through illness and separation in which I lost everything I had, but I always remembered being told that things can only get better from that point on going forward. I sincerely am wishing you the best of luck in your endeavours and if I happen to come into money (been having lots of dreams about it lately) I will not forget you, you have been added to my list of people I will gladly help.

a reply to: Kevinquisitor
First off I am so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine what you are going through. I hope things work out for you.

Here is a place you should apply! You work from home and with your skills you definitely qualify. I will be applying myself for something part time at night if I can. I can't so daytime because of my son but when he goes to bed I'm ready!

I have a friend who just got a job with them! Doesn't hurt to check it out.

West at Home


Edit to add. My friend said the only thing she had to pay for was a background check which was $38. She also said you get paid training.

I live in a different country, so I don't really have any practical advice. This post is just to say how much I admire your response to the troubles that beset you. Instead of blaming others or letting yourself be overwhelmed by circumstances, you're doing your best to deal with the situation actively and positively. Your courage and good sense are rare and admirable.

I hope your troubles will soon be at an end, and better times lie ahead for you.

a reply to: Kevinquisitor I think going to school is great advice but you may consider the military (Airforce) also.