Mensa only dating site - a stupid idea for clever people?

American Mensa have joined forces with online dating site Match.com to provide a mensa members only dating site

But a new partnership between American Mensa and online dating giant Match.com offers a new, enticing reason to join the society of geniuses: true love.

American Mensa

I was wondering what ATS members think of this. The reason I ask is that I was once upon a time, for my sins, married to someone with a genius IQ. Thank goodness that is over!

In my experience (and I am not naïve enough to believe this is always the case) my ex, although scoring off the scale academically, was an emotional pumpkin. He was also extremely snobbish about even deigning to talk to anybody he did not consider "worthy". In his eyes, worthy meant having an IQ at the very least equally impressive as his own.

He piled scorn on any of my friends or family he deemed inferior, and simply could not see their value in terms of compassion, kindness, humour, love, family values, morals, sincerity or loyalty. These are all the things I value in another human being, hence our awkward marriage was doomed.

Now, although it is none of my business whether Mensa members find their true love through this site or not, I simply have to chuckle at the stupidity of so-called clever people who, despite being geniuses, cannot understand what is truly meaningful in a relationship.

I am referring to people who plan to use this site as a filter for their next relationship. I a not saying that Mensa members do not have meaningful relationships, but in my opinion, if IQ is the only thing you value in a partner then you are missing out on the whole point of connecting emotionally and meaningfully with another human being.

I think Harvard graduate, Ali Benazir, says it far more eloquently than me

"IQ tends to be pretty one-dimensional. There's no way to say if this person interacts well with others," he said. "For a relationship, it matters more how that person implements that intelligence in the real world, for jobs and parenting and exchanging of ideas."

"You need to remove the barriers to love. And when you exclude those people, as smart people tend to do, that's when you become lonely."

News about Mensa dating site

(Sitting back and waiting to be flamed now...)

a reply to: Mura44

The IQ doesn't make your personality one way or the other. There are High IQ morons just like there are low IQ morons. As for the site... I don't see anything wrong with it. Everyone's attracted to what they are attracted to. Some like big boobs, some like big IQ's(apparently) to each their own.

Mensa has very low standards for membership, IQ-wise... I hate to sound too cynical, but I really think it is generally an ego thing when people join. Frankly, there is a huge difference in dealing with people that are 95th percentile (for instance) versus 99.9+ percentile. I have no idea why 95 - 99th percentile folks would even feel the need to congregate aside from ego.

Jerks and social idiots come at all IQ levels, but certainly people who are 99.9+ percentile (and the vast majority of Mensa members are not) can feel isolated and struggle to relate with others. The bigger problem with Mensa members, socially speaking, is that there is a great likelihood that they place such a huge value on their IQ score.

So I guess having this dating service allows those who value what Mensa symbolizes to find each other. Why not? I've seen dating sites built around much stranger things than this.

My first marriage was to a high IQ (For want of a better word) Lady, she had an IQ of 152 whereas I came in with a trifling 147.

I lost

But intelligence comes in many packages, IMHO emotional intelligence is the highest of these, I fail on this level sometimes. But Mrs C is an angel and see's me for what I am and understands my failings.

Would I date using mensa as a base ? Absolutely no way.

But then I wouldn't use the Darwin awards either

Just my 2 cents

Cody

a reply to: VegHead

Yup, I think you are right about the ego thing. I too need my partner to be intelligent and interesting to talk to and interested in the big wide world, but, in my world anyhow, meaningful relationships need more than that.

However, as you say, dating sites have been developed around stranger requirements. I am not judging, if that is what they are looking for then is it wonderful that they now have a place to find each other. Good luck and lots of loving to them. It is just not for me.

a reply to: Mura44

I've never been a fan of social grouping in terms of IQ and I attribute that to my being raised amongst ex-felons working for the family business. We worked with rehabilitation centers to help give these guys a leg up. I would say that I learned more about the world from those guys than any high IQ'd professor. The way that I see it, if I'd stayed within a homogenized group due to my IQ, I would've lost out on wisdom, empathy, and compassion for my fellow man. When I entered college, I was invited to join my university's MENSA like group based on my test scores. You should've seen the look on the woman extending the offer's face when I thoroughly declined the offer with a heavy rebuke. Then I followed it up with a sardonic remark about how I'd be bored to tears listening to a bunch of people who thought they were smart yammer on about how smart they were. I think I'd prefer to hang out with a philosophy major, tyvm (which is the second most irritating in my book). No MENSA or Phi Betta Kappa for me, thank you very much.

Intelligence, to me, is simply a measure of educational ability, improved memory and improved cognitive processing. However, if you stick someone with these improvements into a uniform social setting, then what are they learning? To be elitist twits? Probably. Now there are days when I want to pound my head against the desk in sheer horrified contemplation of how a person can even function in life while gaming. However, I've had great conversations across the board with a huge diversity of people and I never once asked them what their IQ was. Totally agree with Benazir.

I'm supposed to be a genius (emphasis on "supposed to be"). My fiance pretty much sucks at IQ tests due to a reading issue and he's one of the smartest and wisest people I know. If this lot wants to date themselves, then more power to them. Fertility and high IQ have never been strong so maybe this will assure that the elitist twit gene gets weeded out of the gene pool.

Mensa should be able to have their own dating site.

God only knows there are plenty of hook up sites for the intellectually challenged.

Iv'e always been curious as to why anyone would use a dating site anyway; why do you think God made bars?

I think it's a great idea. I have a 160ish IQ and find it hard to relate to a lot of people.
Of course frequenting sites like ATS isn't helping the eccentric factor LOL.

@whitealice High IQ people are not just professors. A lot of folks like that end up doing things you wouldn't expect.

originally posted by: pirhanna
I think it's a great idea. I have a 160ish IQ and find it hard to relate to a lot of people.
Of course frequenting sites like ATS isn't helping the eccentric factor LOL.

@whitealice High IQ people are not just professors. A lot of folks like that end up doing things you wouldn't expect.

I know. Bit of a duh there--my IQ is supposed to be quite high (>99th percentile) and I'm not a professor. That wasn't the point. The point was that where I learn the most about the world is from the average human being and not the learned professor. See my quote at the bottom of this post if you still don't get it.

a reply to: WhiteAlice

Very well said, thank you for putting it so well. Your signature strip was way ahead of me there!

I don't remember the movie, but I'll never forget one quote from it:

"Just ask her out. Don't think about it, just do it. If people went around thinking all the time nobody would ever get together. Oh wait ..."

Maybe if a person is really intelligent, they will realize that being single is better than being in a bad relationship. When I think back on some of the women with whom I've been in relationships, and see where they are today, I feel like I've dodged more bullets than Neo in The Matrix.

My personal opinion on the subject?

IQ's are like male genitalia sizes.

You can brag about the number, but it's what you do with it that really counts.

a reply to: Mura44

Your ex sounds like an insecure basket case... constantly reminding people you're a genius comes across as insecure.

Ideally, it's a "show and don't tell" scenario.

As far as a MENSA dating site... it gets difficult finding people who a smarty pants can relate to... so I've heard, anyway... but IQ and wit are mutually exclusive in my experience and someone who bothers to join MENSA deserves the company they get... mostly ('cause blanket stereotypes have exceptions).

But ...whatever gets you through this frequently rough ride is fine.

I couldn't care less what someone's IQ is - have no idea what my IQ is, or what my husband's is. I DO love a smart man though, and my husband is definitely that. He can discuss pretty much any subject and impress you with his knowledge. He also happens to be personable, loving, and kind to others, so he's got that going for him as well.

If I were single, would I go to a Mensa only dating website? Naaaah. I know people who have greatly benefited from dating sites, but I'm pretty old school. I like to meet my men the old fashioned way - set-ups through friends who know me well (that's how I met my husband). Married 15 years this November!

IQ alone means nothing, its what you do with it that counts.
A well trained mind of lower IQ can easily out think a poorly trained mind of higher IQ.
I've only got a tidly IQ of 116 but I've out thought those with high and been out thought by those with lower.

I know a guy with an IQ of 80 who can discuss philosophy more elequently and with more depth of understanding than someone else I know with an IQ of 126.

a reply to: Mura44

Hi Mura!! *hugs* & *waves* & *S&F*
Nice! Interesting thread!
I know I'm smart. I wouldn't say 'genius', but definitely above average lol.

To me, there are different types of smart. Book smart isn't the same as street smart. Well educated isn't the same as intelligent. A sense of humour and being clever enough to banter...that's way more impressive in my eyes.
I like the word 'clever'...it piques my interest much more than 'smart'.

I suppose on this dating site, they would have the common ground of 'being a genius in a world full of idiots', haha. They could likely share experiences and bond in some way. Is it a guarantee for love? No, I don't believe so.

But, then again...I just found out that there's a dating site for "metal heads" (metal rock music)...so perhaps 'birds of a feather, flock together'...?
jacy

a reply to: [post=18075160]beezzer[/pos


and beezzer wins the award for best response in a thread!!!!!! that just cracked me up and I needed a good laugh.

if IQ is the most important thing then that website will be a good thing for them to find each other...;......BUT.....

part of me is chuckling because they are soooo smart shouldn't they be able to find someone??

I like what everybody else said in this thread!

cant wait to read the headline:

Geeky Serial Killer AT LARGE

a reply to: research100


speaking of dating sites.....here is a list

ugly schmucks
equestrian cupid
purrsonals
amish dating
biker kiss
clown dating
darwin dating (natural beauty, no nerds)
diaper mates (adult babies and those who love them)
singles with food allergies
gluten free singles
hot sauce passions
mullet passions
sea captain date
salad match
farmers only
std match
tall friends
trek passions
the ugly bug ball
vampersonals (goth and vampire)
crazy blind date (dating site with no pictures)
women behind bars
pounced (for furries)
date a golfer