What do children deserve from their father ?

Hello ATS. I'm looking for more ideas on the things a father should be giving his children.

What does a kid deserve, what should he get without a doubt, and which every day life things your father did for you as a kid ?
My father was never around and I don't really get beyond the point that he should at least be around.

Can you help me broaden my views on what it takes to be a father, one that is determined to do anything for his kids to have the best father he can be ?

Thank you in advance ?

A good path in life.

a reply to: Sinter Klaas
Let the child pursue their interests. Give them encouragement to be themselves. I am a musician and painter. I had to grow up with a dad who looked down on me for being interested in, according to his view, "faggot sh#t." We don't get along.

i suppose unconditional love and moral support?

a reply to: rickymouse

Thank you, but a good path seems obvious and still filled with unimaginable possibilities.

a reply to: skunkape23

Thank you. I like your contribution. I can't remember anything like these when I was young.

a reply to: Fargoth

You'v hit the jackpot.

But I'm searching for the subtle things one should add next to love and support.

ok, for the best possible chance at a good outcome, love and support is at the core. challenging but never humiliating them (male or female)...bringing the best out in them through support and belief (not force and insulting them to do better...I know you can do this is more effective than do it you baby).

As far as physical things...I would say a college fund and -some- items of entertainment..enough to make them feel like they are not the odd kid out in school, but also lacking enough to where they want to do extra stuff, be it mow the lawn or whatnot for extra cash to get that latest game or whatnot.

I would suggest to parents to get kids a PC and not a console...a console will just eat up their time, but a PC, even if its just for games, will also teach them a life skill (typing, networking, etc).

But if anything, give them hugs and affection (not to a silly point, but a hug should not feel foreign..pats on the back in between). Mental state is key to a successful future.

a reply to: Sinter Klaas

I think to be a good father you have to be a good person first.Getting to know and apppreciate kids would also help,plus we all need professional help and opinions to how to treat our children...Loving them and really caring for them is the key but we also have to have updated information about children psychology and good parenting in order to bring them up healthy and properly.

a reply to: Sinter Klaas

Hello ATS. I'm looking for more ideas on the things a father should be giving his children.

As far as things, making investments in gold or property to leave behind as inheritance? Nothing wrong with that. What do we have kids for, to take care of us?

What does a kid deserve, what should he get without a doubt, and which every day life things your father did for you as a kid ?

He should treat his children fairly not exclusively. I know the difference, I'm the Black Sheep.

My father was never around and I don't really get beyond the point that he should at least be around.

Mine was around but ignored me.

Be there for your kids.

Can you help me broaden my views on what it takes to be a father, one that is determined to do anything for his kids to have the best father he can be ?

Kids don't come with a manual. Ever see The Breakfast Club? Good dysfunctional movie.

All of the above.

Give them as much encouragement as possible and never put them down as they'll be enough people in later life that will try to do that.

a reply to: SaturnFX

Thank you Saturn. I'll keep this in mind.

a reply to: Sinter Klaas

Well when he could my dad liked to spend time with us by taking us fishing, hiking, camping or taking us "down the shore" as us Jersey folk say. Telling us boys spooky stories tucking my sisters in at night. Teaching us how to box, wrestle, play guitar and secretly supplying awesome ideas and costly electronic components for our 6th grade science fair projects that put every other student to shame. That kind of stuff. My dad was pretty damn cool.

a reply to: intrptr

Unfortunately financially my kids won't get the jackpot. So I've got to get them the best without the luxury money not being an issue.

I want them to have the best start possible, with the means available.

So far the options presented here are pretty obvious actually, but it's difficult to come up with something without attention being spend on the matter imo.

It sure helps to be able to think about this topic in general, and it will definitely make it easier next time it comes up.

THX

a reply to: Sinter Klaas

Really nothing is more important than instilling good values and spending quality time with your kids. In which ever way you choose to do so, if you love your kids and are involved with their lives then you are a great dad. That's all that really matters.

originally posted by: Sinter Klaas
a reply to: intrptr

Unfortunately financially my kids won't get the jackpot. So I've got to get them the best without the luxury money not being an issue.

I want them to have the best start possible, with the means available.

Then that would mean sacrificing your own well being the the future sake of theirs. This is a hard thing for people to do. If you live paycheck to paycheck like most people do and you want your children to have the best start possible, you have to sacrifice all of things you want for the sake of them having what they need to have a running chance in life. I'm sure you know that this is a very competitive world we live in and when it comes to money, no one is going to give you anything and they will always think you're trying to take from them.

Show them a better way by giving all you have for their sake.

a reply to: Fargoth

I think I agree. I hope my values match a little with my children their mother, when the time comes though.

That would make it a lot easier

I just try to be their friends ..While it lasts they are still under 5 . I am hard ass because I want them to grow up with respect and self respect. I don't think it is to early to start teaching ethics and reasoning . I don't lie to my kids don't be a hypocrite .. my kids deserve a strong father figure something I didn't have or a stable environment ...

Pretty much all the mistakes my parents have made I reallllly wish not to repeat basic things like preparing for what is in the real world.

Children deserve to be raised right and not to grow up to be little _____ .

a reply to: Taupin Desciple

Although I want to offer the best start possible, and I'm willing to sacrifice my time and effort to make it possible.
Being able to live a normal life together with the missus, and the ability to create enough ways to keep the relationship healthy and sustainable is important.
It will benefit the children a lot to have their parents around together as a happy family. I think this is more important then making sure the financial means are available at all costs.
A strong family, with caring members will also find a way to succeed in life without the certainty of wealth to support it.
Another solution comes around or a new possibility will arise.