Simple question on Abortion

I'm going to make this one really simple to avoid people who like to veer off topic.

Simple question:

Why is it OK for women to have the right to walk away from the responsibility of a child

But it is not OK for a man to have the right to walk away from the responsibility of a child?

Anyone have a logical and non-hypocritical answer?

a reply to: James1982

Because it's not a man versus woman question.

Women have abortions for countless reasons. My fourth child was thought to have a genetic disorder early on in my pregnancy - he didn't, but for a period of time we thought he might have and the hospital spoke to us about the possibility of abortion. I learned what abortion really is, I mean really looks like and it terrified me. I decided I couldn't go through with it, and so did my husband. At no time did he walk away from his responsibilities and neither did I.

You cannot, with all the will in the world, make abortion a simple discussion, and framing it as a gender division is to misunderstand it, in my opinion.

a reply to: James1982

no - but I do have the " next " question

why does the biological father have zero input in desciscions , but has no opt out from obligations

It's a womans body. She can do with it as she see's as is best for her. If she wants to abort the life prior to birth.....it's her decision. Your no man if walking away is what you want to do. We as men do not have this decision to make about aborting a life. I'm sure it's a hard of a decision for a woman to make as a man deciding to cut off his willy. Mentally & emotionally it's the same.....Ever stop to think about the amount of shame some women endure because of a decision? The stigma? No real man walks away from his responsability as a father, if you do, your no man. IMHO Until a man can concieve, carry, & deliver a baby, men need to just remain silent on the issue, you can try as you may to step into a womans shoes......But until that day comes..silence is golden.

a reply to: James1982

As MEN are the supposed to be able to do all that the WOMEN do? And visa versa?
the females have to carry the seeds physically so they automatically have ruling over their bodies. If males carried the seeds say like seahorses maybe a level of equality can be established as the men would know more how it feels emotionally and internally to carry the new births...

To clarify not saying either decision is acceptable or not for many dynamics can be at play to determine the descision making, just commenting on the OP.

a reply to: openyourmind1262

It was like asking me to cut out my own heart.
A horrendous decision, one I would never ever wish on a woman or a man.

You put that very well, no decent man walks away from his child.

a reply to: beansidhe

yet women do - all the time

abortion descision = womans

adoption descision = womans

a reply to: James1982



Taking the second part of your question first, the child is already

in existence so it is necessary and right that he takes his share of the

responsibility?


And in the instance of an abortion the woman is not walking away from

the responsibility of a child ...

She is in fact taking the decision of not to be in the position of

having the responsibility before there is a child ...

Simple answer?

It's not. (fair)

But unfortunately, in today's society, we thought all these laws were a great idea.

Shows how smart we are, huh?

a reply to: ignorant_ape

Women have abortions because they carry the baby. Simple biology.

Are you asking me why is the decision their's alone? It shouldn't be, in an ideal world it should be a joint decision.
But in saying that, no man should EVER expect a woman to carry a baby that she feels she cannot. Babies and women are two parts of the same body for 9 months.

The OP made the presumption that's it's 'ok for women to walk away from their responsibility'. My point is that it's 'not ok', it doesn't feel 'ok' and that it's very easy to assume that women who have abortions don't care about the baby they are carrying. Every scenario is different, and complicated.
Therefore making it into a man v woman debate doesn't really cut it.

a reply to: James1982

As a man who cannot father children (known since I was 11 years old, I am now 42) I have a unique perspective on abortion.

Yes, the man's want's and needs are ignored by the law. How many men who WANTED their child had it killed by a woman expressing her freedom of "choice"? I have friends who have been in that very scenario. And it devastated them. I can only imagine the pain. Women DO have choices. Birth control, prophylactics, abstinence, even the morning after pill. Once it gets to the point of a heartbeat, their body is a life support system nurturing a new human being. That life didn't just appear out of thin air, it was made by two people. And yet, ONE gets to make the call whether it lives or dies. Simply because it happens to reside in her body. At the very least the father should be consulted, and given the option to take the child himself after birth and absolve the mother of financial responsibility.

You hear all the time about the lack of biological fathers in families today and how that is affecting society in a negative way, yet women can kill children without consequence.

I find abortions to be an incredibly flippant response to lack of responsibility.

Yes, incest and rape are exceptions. As they should be.

originally posted by: James1982
Why is it OK for women to have the right to walk away from the responsibility of a child
But it is not OK for a man to have the right to walk away from the responsibility of a child?

If there is a child (a born human being) no one has the right to walk away from it. It's illegal to abandon a child. There are systems in place to turn the child over to an agency (orphanage or adoption agency), but neither parent has the legal right to simply abandon the child.

Having an abortion is one way of taking responsibility for getting pregnant. It's one of the choices. Men don't have that choice because men don't get pregnant. It's biology.

I personally think there should be a system in place that allows a man to decide that he doesn't want legal responsibility for a child, but there are so many roadblocks to that working effectively, I doubt it will ever happen.

I have known women who have had abortions. They are ALL haunted by their decision.
I've known women who have had multiple abortions, just because they didn't use birth control ( or self control), and their welfare insurance covered the bill. How convenient! As the years pass, the the regret grows.
I was told if I didn't have an abortion, my husband would leave. I kept the baby; best decision I ever made!

There may be women out there who can have an abortion and not suffer a life of mental torture, but I've never met one. It's a sad,sad subject.

a reply to: poncho1982


Even if a pregnancy is unplanned I would say that not many abortions happen

in warm, loving relationships. Most times the man is long gone or the

'relationship' is rocky or unstable when a woman decides to take that decision,

it is never an easy or flippant decision


There will no doubt be denials and objections to the following >>>>


It has never been documented and in any event I don't believe that

many men would admit to it, but I bet there have been more than a few

loud sighs of relief from men who were about to be saddled with the

18 years of responsibility after a careless or casual fling?? Indeed I personally

know of at least a couple of cases when men have begged, pleaded, and

cried for their "partner" to have an abortion.

It happens .... but never admitted to.

originally posted by: Benevolent Heretic

I personally think there should be a system in place that allows a man to decide that he doesn't want legal responsibility for a child, but there are so many roadblocks to that working effectively, I doubt it will ever happen.

LOL... There is in the UK.

There have been multiple cases recorded in the press of males fathering

many children, with many women, and being out of work and on

benefits so they pay nothing and move on.

One of them lives is fairly local to me and thinks he's quite the celebrity

having appeared on the "Jeremy Kyle" show ... Lol!!

originally posted by: ignorant_ape
why does the biological father have zero input in desciscions , but has no opt out from obligations

Zero input? You mean, he was prohibited from wearing a condom? Was he prohibited from getting a vasectomy? Was he prohibited from abstaining? What do you mean he has "zero input in decisions"?

a reply to: James1982

It's not right for either to walk away. I think you know this ... and that's why you used the word "responsibility."

There are always exceptions. Being a detriment to the child springs to mind. I'm sure there are others ... not many I'd respect you for, but I'm sure there are a few.

originally posted by: eletheia
There have been multiple cases recorded in the press of males fathering many children, with many women, and being out of work and on benefits so they pay nothing and move on.

Yeah, we have that here, too. They're called "deadbeat dads". But that's not what I was talking about. I mean, upon finding out the woman is pregnant, he can sign a legal form that releases his responsibility. He must sign this in time so that the woman would still have the option of aborting the child if she doesn't want to or cannot take care of it herself.

Of course, there are many issues that could get in the way: If she can't afford to care for a child and is personally against abortion; if she doesn't tell him about the pregnancy, etc.

a reply to: James1982

Actually your question is anything but simple. Are you addressing the issue of abortion, or the issue of child support?

a reply to: Bone75

Very good point. The title says it's about abortion. If so, why can't a man have an abortion? The answer seems pretty cut and dried to me.