Thanks and a eulogy to my canine friend.

Hello everyone. I'm really slow off the mark with stuff, kind of neophobic like a rat Lurked for ages, signed up, then didn't post anything "original" and brilliant like so many others and, well, may never but love being here regardless. It is infinitely better than any other site and the first I've joined, not being a joiner.

So tonight I can't sleep any more because I keep waiting for my dog to come home. He passed away last week at fourteen years old but I am suffering from phantom limb or perhaps phantom dog.

We had a ridiculously co-dependent, relationship and when he would wake up in the morning he'd greet me as if I had been gone all day. I'm not sure he understood that dreams weren't off somewhere else but it was this oddball outlook on life that earned him his name, Loco.

And true to name, he was wired differently. He gently chewed on his knees all the time, but would forget and get up to go somewhere and try to walk with the knee still in his mouth like a ball! Weird is as weird does. He'd stomp out fire like the rhinoceros on "The Gods Must Be Crazy"... all fine till it was a spent firework.

His fur felt like a plush stuffed animal and smelled like oranges, citrusy until he was about eight when it got a little rougher around the edges. I can count the number of times he farted on both hands unlike the totally rank pit bulls I had before him.

He was a Spanweiler. Someone was definitely playing god the day they decided to cross a Rottweiler and a Springer Spaniel, but he was free. And free being good, the owner of the puppies tried to convince us we needed a second puppy because Loco wasn't so bright.

We declined the kind offer and took home with us fourteen years of gratitude and joy.

I can joke through the heartbreak but, though not religious, heaven to me would be dog heaven and running with my beloved pack again.

I'm sorry for your loss.
But thank you. For giving a mixed "mutt", that may not have been so smart, what sounds like a very happy 14 years.
It never stops hurting, but it does get easier to talk about them, and joke, and laugh.
And just remember how great our lives were, when they were with us.

You have my sympathy.
but, you had 14 awesome years with your dog. Im sure he was as crazy happy about them as you.

I've got a 10yr old shepherd that feels like hes been part of our family for ever. I don't even want to consider how we'll all feel when his times up. I know this though, I wouldn't change a second of the time ive had with him.

reply to post by igloo


Welcome to the site. Sorry for your loss. Chokes me up.

I can joke through the heartbreak but, though not religious, heaven to me would be dog heaven and running with my beloved pack again.

Sweet grieving, a sign of true love. Let it flow…

Hello and welcome! Many of us here have lost beloved pets over the years and it is always so sad and so hard to say goodbye. I'm sure your sweet dog is now running free beneath tall trees and the shining sun. Someday you will be reunited again. Hugs!!

reply to post by igloo


Sorry for your loss, but glad to hear of your 14 years of happiness. 14 years is a good life for a dog. When you are ready, you will find a new puppy (or he/she will find you) and you will start a new friendship. Think about the happy times as you have described here.

It will be 1 yr. this April since we lost our best boy. He was a lab mix and just wandered into our lives and made a house a home. It's strange how he found us. I rescued him from the tenants that lived in the rental house next door. Hungry and alone he would look into my office through the backyard fence and see me working. His pitiful whining and moaning would bring me out to see what his immediate needs were. Just the basics was all he was looking for ... food, water and affection. After a few months of watching his slow deterioration through neglect I had enough and just went over and told these idiot tenants that they may as well just give him to us as he spent his break out time in my yard and house anyway ( long story short his great escape was 30 ft. from his own yard to ours) . They said OK and we enjoyed 8 loving, wonderful yrs with him till he suddenly collapsed one night in the yard. He died from tumours rupturing internally ... we had no clue that he was even ill ... vet didn't even see it ( he was only 8 ). In the end it was probably best he went so quick as I don't think I couldn't have bared to watch him suffer and waste away. One of the worst nights of my life. Smile when you think of him, laugh at the memories and even cry when you feel it. They are truly our best friends.

Wow, thank you all for the kindness and personal stories! I really didn't expect responses at that time in the morning but that helped the overwhelming loneliness tons.

Yes, fourteen years is a lot to ask of a dog and I have been so lucky with mine. Someday, I'm sure, the universe will slide another needy dog my way. It has to happen naturally for me. No forced friendships.

Much love.