my lover

I met her in the pub, it was love at first sight. She was dressed in bigblack boots, long black and red dress that flowed showing ample cleavage.And she wore a waistcoat with long stylish black coat. Her face was roundand beautiful, full lips, small nose, dimples, big beautiful brown eyes. Herhair was black, not too short, not too long. She had coloured yarn in herhair, artistically arranged. She looked erotic. She was erotic. We chattedand hit it off straight away. We had so much in common. We played pool; lotsof pool. She beat me. We kissed; we kissed a lot. She snogged my face off.We talked and talked all night at my house. We told each other everything.We told each other our deepest secrets.We met each other a few times over the next couple of weeks. The weeksturned into months. We made love like nothing on Earth. We were so mentallyand sexually compatible. Making love with her was Wonderful. I loved herdeep. She pulled me in. We rolled and climbed and flew. I asked her to marryme. She said yes.

We got married at a handfasting in a stone circle. There were fireworks, aparty with a band. Honeymooned in Peru. We were so happy.We returned home a month later. That’s when she changed. She started eatingcustard with her dinners. She started being sick. She was pregnant. We hadtwins. Two beautiful little girls.She never stopped eating custard with her dinners. She began wearingslippers in be. Kinky, I thought. We didn’t have sex so much, and when wedid it was more like a routine; it had lost it’s sparkle, it’s magic. Shedemanded the twins be called Ethel and Mabel. She didn’t like them much, Ispent most of the time bathing and dressing them. Changing their nappies andtaking them out. We stopped sex altogether.

She began going to the library and taking out books on golf andcross-stitch. She read the books avidly, little time for conversation. Shewas on the phone for hours each night chatting to her friends; or txtingthem. We slept in separate beds, separate rooms. She said the kids kept herawake. We argued. I couldn’t do anything right. I didn’t cook enough. Didn’thoover correctly. Kept leaving the seat up. Didn’t make her tea right orstir it enough.She started not coming back at nights. She started having affairs. I wanteda divorce. She went wild. "I will never divorce her", she said. "because ofmy secret. The one that no one must ever know. Never. Never ever." If Idivorce her, she will go tell everyone. The police will find out. She saidshe "loved me in her own way and will never leave me".We started going out more often. In pubs she laughed like a pig-horse whenshe got drunk and flirted with everyone. At restaurants she mixed foodsstrangely: cheese-pie and ice-cream; omelette and custard; curry and jelly;apple-pie and gravy. She started line-dancing. She listened to Elvis.She started snoring. Burping and farting at plays. She began wearingtrack-suits and shaved her head. She upset my friends. Insulted my family.She wanted another baby. She said she loved me in her own way and no onewill ever know my secret.

reply to post by taoistguy


If I hadn't seen your previous post, I would have thought this was serious :')

Hilarious, everyone forgets the other side of St. Val's day!

taoistguy
Her face was roundand beautiful, full lips, small nose, dimples, big beautiful brown eyes. Herhair was black, not too short, not too long. She had coloured yarn in herhair, artistically arranged.

Sounds like a description of my niece's rabbit.

Some people may see this as how relationships go. Familiarity breeds contempt, and all that.

Regards