Idiots guide to keeping your kids safe from the Gays

I remember the first time I was exposed to homosexuals was when I was seven years old. We were at the waterpark and two older teenage boys were wearing speedos and acted very feminine. My sister brought my attention to them and she called them typical gay names. Because of her, I acknowledged the existence of the homosexual man. I suddenly wanted to be like those boys, I wanted the speedos, the skinny body and the acne scars as well. Basically its my sisters fault. So I am writing rules as a guide to help keep your kid safe from turning gay.

1- Take your kid out of school, classmates will be gay and so will some teachers, especially the males teachers in a Christian school.
2- Take away all music from the child, especially country, those new style country boys with the gay tips in their hair will undoubtedly make your kid gay.
3- Take away the television, need I say more.
4- Take them out of church. The roman catholic churches paid out over 8 million in legal fees last year to protect pedophiles from going to jail.
5- No more beach, waterparks or waterslides.
6- No more computer.
7- No more family members. Just because they don't tell everyone they are gay doesn't mean they aren't, and I could CARE LESS if they are married, doesn't mean a thing honey even though you would like it to.
8- No more shopping, no wal mart, no eating out and most important NO LOWES.
9-No more parks, no more public anything, you stay at home and keep your kid from turning gay.
10- Buy a straight jacket and put your kid in it because your kid is probably gay and you will need to protect your child from themself , and as much as you want to deny it ,you wont be able to when they put it all over their facebook.

any other concerns that you can think of will be used in the book.

reply to post by lotusfoot


this thread is going to be pulled in.....5...4....3.....2....

lotusfoot
I remember the first time I was exposed to homosexuals... I acknowledged the existence of the homosexual man. I suddenly wanted to be like those boys, I wanted the speedos, the skinny body and the acne scars as well.

Gays tend to be awesome role-models, actually. I was room-mates with one in college who was super intelligent, creative assertive and still fun.

@Unb: I think he was supporting gays with his O.P.

reply to post by lotusfoot


Hahaaa...!

Great one. That was thoroughly hilarious.

Number 8 was the best: no Lowes! Good stuff.

Ten was good too, was the "straight" jacket pun intended?

I just wish people could get over the whole being gay thing. In my opinion it is the definition of a non-issue. Especially when there are so many more pressing matters at hand.

Kallisti

reply to post by lotusfoot


I just had to ask. What has no.4 got to do with gay people?
Seems like you're putting gays into the same category as pedophiles.

Post removed in respect for the LGBT community.

samstone
reply to post by lotusfoot

 

I just had to ask. What has no.4 got to do with gay people?
Seems like you're putting gays into the same category as pedophiles.

However, I totally agree with Sams extremely pertinent question.

Pedophila has nothing to do at all with being gay.

Extracted from link below : :

Members of disliked (or if I may say so, mis-understood) minority groups are often stereotyped as representing a danger to the majority's most vulnerable members. For example, Jews in the Middle Ages were accused of murdering Christian babies in ritual sacrifices. Black men in the United States were often lynched after being falsely accused of raping White women.

In a similar fashion, gay people have often been portrayed as a threat to children. Back in 1977, when Anita Bryant campaigned successfully to repeal a Dade County (FL) ordinance prohibiting anti-gay discrimination, she named her organization "Save Our Children," and warned that "a particularly deviant-minded [gay] teacher could sexually molest children" (Bryant, 1977, p. 114). [Bibliographic references are on a different web page]

In recent years, antigay activists have routinely asserted that gay people are child molesters. This argument was often made in debates about the Boy Scouts of America's policy to exclude gay scouts and scoutmasters. More recently, in the wake of Rep. Mark Foley's resignation from the US House of Representatives in 2006, antigay activists and their supporters seized on the scandal to revive this canard.

It has also been raised in connection with scandals about the Catholic church's attempts to cover up the abuse of young males by priests. Indeed, the Vatican's early response to the 2002 revelations of widespread Church cover-ups of sexual abuse by priests was to declare that gay men should not be ordained.

psychology.ucdavis.edu...

Kindest respects

Rodinus

reply to post by lotusfoot

Your post is more anti-human and animalistic than any homophobic anti-gay post out there.

I can't believe you wrote this garbage. It's totally offensive.

I showed your OP to 4 people and they all agreed that it was sickeningly offensive, and 2 of them are gay.

I am ashamed to associate with the same site as you.

Stop being so gay.

Sounds like some one is a little butt hurt... Yes pun intended

reply to post by CagliostroTheGreat

I just wish people could get over the whole being gay thing. In my opinion it is the definition of a non-issue. Especially when there are so many more pressing matters at hand.

LGBT supporters are pushing for equality. Give them equality and yes then it will be a non-issue.

reply to post by Lucid Lunacy


I think the LGBT community have already got their equality in nearly all aspects of life here in the west. There will always be some people who don`t like or understand how others live, thats their problem. Same as some, supposedly world leading countries who host olympics, for instance do not approve of the LGBT lifestyle. Haters gonna hate as they say.

However, i think they have won their fight for equality in the more civilised communities of the world. Certainly here in the UK. It really is a none issue. If your gay, big deal, well done, it makes no difference to the vast majority, I just think that continuing to post about it and tell everyone how hard done to they feel, or how proud they are to be LGBT that seems as if some like playing the victim or have some kind of persecution complex. I`m hetro sexual, i don`t feel the need to write threads about it and keep going on and on about it, It can become a bit boring.

Your gay, enjoy yourself, meet someone nice and get married, perhaps adopt a child and settle down, ignore what the haters say.

reply to post by fenian8


The issue is global. So when I said LGBT supporters pushing for equality I in fact am talking within a global scope. When you do, it becomes quite obvious it's not a benign issue. At least if you're privy to the information. If things are great on that front in the UK I am very happy to hear that. That's not the case everywhere in the World. Not by a long shot.

Your gay, enjoy yourself, meet someone nice and get married, perhaps adopt a child and settle down, ignore what the haters say.

Except for all those that literally are not allowed to do anything of that. Even here in the States some don't allow gay adoption. Many don't allow that marriage. I hope you see how you supported my argument here. Or at the least, put a thorn in yours.

reply to post by lotusfoot


Why not just use one of those plug-in devices that renders one safe from unwanted intrusion?

Makes you walk a bit funny, but totes works

reply to post by InTheFlesh1980


You do realize this is in the JOKE forum right? What do people that support LBGT rights not have a sense of humor?

Attrei
reply to post by InTheFlesh1980

 

You do realize this is in the JOKE forum right? What do people that support LBGT rights not have a sense of humor?

Yes, which is why I was joking, too.

Gotcha!

reply to post by Rodinus


LOL ..I AM the LGBT community.

reply to post by InTheFlesh1980


Which part wasn't true ?

reply to post by lotusfoot




10% of boys are gay so how do you keep your kids from themselves? I wanted to ask Putin the same thing when he claimed to want to protect youth. Some of the youth are already gay. Nothing he or anyone else can do about it - no matter who you let in or out.

reply to post by lotusfoot

I don't see how you declare this a joke (to you perhaps, not to them)? And why you think it ok to make fun of someone's orientation?