reply to post by golden23
It sounds to me like you've already decided to pursue the study of magic(k). This thread is heavy on words, and you have so much more reading in
your future than you realize, so I'll keep it as terse as I can manage.
You have some pre-conceptions that you need to get over as you continue. Do not let that dissuade you. The practice of magic(k) is many things. Chief
among them is the process of systematically finding and eliminating pre-conceived notions. It sounds like you have already overcome a few in the days
since you started this thread, and that's an excellent start. You have received a lot of solid advice in this thread. Re read it and follow every
link you have been given.
Read everything you can get your hands on, especially the things you disagree with and think are bull#. Make it a point to read every book you have
again some years later. As your perception grows, so does your ability to understand. There is always something you missed the first time. Start with
the Tao te Ching. I recommend the translation by Stephen Mitchell; The reading is easy and the thinking is hard. You'll probably re visit it many
times.
Be careful of who you trust, and treat all people and spirits as individuals. A practitioner of magic(k) is not necessarily a good person just
because they understand magic(k), a spirit is not evil just because it doesn't have a body. A dogmatic, fundamentalist Christian is not a bad person
just because they erroneously believe you worship satan.
Following this path essentially means taking responsibility and deciding for yourself in all matters. Do not take the rejection of religion to mean
the rejection of theism. Understand it as the rejection of dogma. It means letting no individual stand between you and the divine. No one can tell you
what or whether god is or is not, or what is right or wrong, whether you should use magic(k) in a given situation or not, or how. You must review all
the information available to you and make a decision based on your own judgement, and accept every single one of the consequences, even the ones you
didn't forsee. It will be hard work, and harder as you grow. People will definitely think you're weird, for precisely the same reason children think
kissing is gross; They have yet to make the transition that allows them to understand the appeal.
For the next few years, focus on meditating and studying. Read, ask questions, contemplate any answers you may get, and read some more. When you
think you're ready to begin playing around with magic(k), wait and study some more. Much like puberty changed your body without any permission or
direction from you, your magic(k)al awakening will shape your mind and spirit until magic(k) is very much a part of your daily life.
Good luck, god speed, and don't let the bastards drag you down.
So much for terse...