I Find It Hard It's Hard To Find...Oh We'll Whatever Nevermind

reply to post by solongandgoodnight


thanks for this thread.

i've been wondering about this too.

sometimes when i gave to others, i felt peaceful.
on the other times, i felt conflict inside.

peace

reply to post by solongandgoodnight


Your example reminds me of thoughts I have oten had it reminded me of one of my favorite quote from one of my favorite episodes of Doctor who " the way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice-versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant."

We can never know the out come of things we just have to treat others the way we need to be treated and leave the results up to the creator.

reply to post by solongandgoodnight


you don't always have to feel good about yourself or the world. you don't always have to get it right. you don't always have to feel good about the eyes that stare back at you from the mirror. but you have to keep trying. take the next step. see the next sunrise. sounds like you know that. good job citizen. and next time you start to "feel"? keep trying. it matters. it's one of the few things that actually does.

reply to post by solongandgoodnight


If you can't do this?

I bought a homeless man groceries yesterday and found myself thinking, "Does it matter

Without feeling like this?

Meaning, he still dies from liver failure. (he was a drunk and out of food stamps he claimed). It's inevitable. No doubt.

Then you might be an atheist.

It's not ALL just about how much of a difference you made in that man's life. It's also about what it did to you, in YOUR life. These actions definite who we are. OK maybe THIS time you didn't "save the world", but it's the fact that you're the type of person who would, given the chance. And you're going to be a lot better off having lived your life this way. When your time comes, you will die knowing you did what you could with what you had, where you were. And one of these times, you will make a big difference to somebody or to your community or the world. And who's to say you haven't already? Who's to say you didn't make a big difference by helping that man? Maybe now he will feel grateful for it and have a moment where he realizes he needs to call his daughter and tell her he loves her and he's sorry he became homeless and wasn't a perfect father, and that talk could give her the closure she needed in a situation that was haunting her so now she will have the fortitude to finish high school and go on to college to do great things whereas before she felt like she had a hole in her life. Or any other number of scenarios that can only come about through random acts of kindness.

Hey, don't kid yourself here. No matter what happens, at the end of the day, you matter! And what's more, your soul, your essence, your "you"-ness, is priceless beyond any perceivable value.

reply to post by tencap77


That's right and you would not appreciate or even have the ability to acknowledge something good or feeling good if you never experience feeling bad every once in a while. Ups and downs. Feeling down just means you're getting closer to the next "up". But beware, some ups and some downs last longer than others. But when everything feels fine you're not going to take much notice that "hey I haven't been sad in a while...what's up with that??" But you sure do notice it when you have an extended "low"... you start to wonder what's the point, the world is effed up beyond belief anyway, and all the negative sides of things seem to pop out at you in your mind. You just have to keep telling yourself it isn't going to be this way forever. Meaning, purpose, happiness...it WILL find a way back into your life. One time i was really bummed out and i won't get into it too much but one day somebody left a kitten at my house. Just totally ditched it. The plan was she was to stay and get sober off of drugs. But one day she just disappeared, leaving behind a few belongings and a 3-4 month old kitten. I've always been more of a dog person but have not had any pets for over 8 or 9 years because I could not dedicate enough time to walking a dog and giving it the attention I think they deserve. It turns out a cat doesn't need to be walked or even let outside to use the bathroom. Much less work. Half the time they are doing their own thing but they do still like to play or be scratched or pet. Needless to say it was exactly what we needed in our house to brighten up the mood. There's nothing like watching a young animal exploring and getting into all kinds of crazy antics. You'll smile, you'll laugh, you might even cry...from laughing so hard! Might not quite work for you, but then again I never would have guessed the several positive changes a feline could bring into our lives.. Anyway good luck and i hope you find a more fulfilling existence for yourself soon!

reply to post by solongandgoodnight

solongandgoodnight
Lately I've found it hard to describe how I feel.

You do a great job in this original post.

solongandgoodnight
At one point I feel like I should be the "perfect person". At another I feel like, "It doesn't matter anyway I'll die and be in some sort of box again." Yet I find myself doing the "right thing" anyway.

What is the "perfect" person? What is the "right" thing? Those are belief systems, each person has their own.

In regard to morality, I will say this though, treating others as you'd like to be treated is a great way to stay away from drama in life. This is the simple truth.

solongandgoodnight
I bought a homeless man groceries yesterday and found myself thinking, "Does it matter?"

Meaning, he still dies from liver failure. (he was a drunk and out of food stamps he claimed). It's inevitable. No doubt.

Sometimes I wonder how much our actions matter

They matter to those who our actions affect. If you would have insulted him, it would have mattered to him. He would have been hurt. If you would have ignored him, it would have mattered to him, he would feel unnoticed in the world. Our actions affect others, and while it may not matter in "the end" since everyone will eventually die, why make life a living hell for others when we can help to alleviate the pain of ourselves and others?

solongandgoodnight
Feel free to post your opinions that somehow state your a better person than I.

It's good to recognize that if someone thinks that they are 'better' than you, that it is only an opinion. Better is based on "good" and "bad" and each person has their own set of moral code.

A wise person, however, understands that treating others as you'd like to be treated is a great way to stay away from drama, even if you don't follow this, you'd be unwise, but not "evil" or "bad", unless you define ignorance to be evil.

It "smells like teen spirit" to me.
2nd