Stopping alcoholism... feel concerned?... Please watch...

reply to post by dukeofjive696969


Kids and true love... the best motivation we can have...

I hate/love it when Rodinus Jr says "so you still have not stopped smoking again after all your "promises!"

That's why i have finally decided to REALLY quit and see a specialist next week after hearing Rod Jr "suugest" this for the umpteenth time!.

I'm pretty ok for the alcohol according to my own self control, the different tests and from what my doc has told me, although 14 years ago before my son was born i would say that i was an *alcoholic... nearly a bottle of whisky a day and more on weekends... (yep... all due to PTSD because i didn't know who to turn to apart from the dreaded bottle!)... Thanks you Mrs R and also her family...

Then of course a new life came into this world and thats when everything just clicked into place... quite naturally...

*Never got smashed but just didn't know when to stop.

Kindest respects

Rodinus

reply to post by Rodinus


I enjoy drinking alcohol....and I'm very good at it.
But I'm not an alcoholic, far from it - I wouldn't thank you for a drink in the house.
I do almost all of my drinking in pubs, clubs or with small groups of friends after visiting pubs or clubs.
Since my mid-to-late teens I've spent a lot of time in and around pubs; its where I meet my mates, have a bit of craic, play a bit of pool, watch sports etc. Its where a bit of my 'business' is conducted.
I've ran my own doors and had two pubs of my own - I still work the occasional door and do some hours behind the bar for a very close friend of mine.

I'm more than aware of the downsides to drinking alcohol.
I've lost family and close friends to it and at 21years old was diagnosed with early signs of cirrhosis of the liver, (at the time I was drinking quite heavily 7 days a week - I spent 3 months on the wagon).
I've seen strong people succumb to alcoholism, I've seen some sad and tragic people descend down that road too. I've seen poor people condemn themselves to a life of constant struggle due to their drinking habit and I've also witnessed wealthy people literally lose everything through it.
As with all addictions alcoholism crosses all social divides.

I personally don't do anything in moderation - I live life to the full.
But I recognise the need to control alcohol and not allow it to control me, the same as all my 'vices'.
At times it has been an immense struggle and a few years ago I think many people thought I was going to fall victim to alcoholism. Fortunately I came through those dark days and am in complete control of my drinking.
Others aren't that fortunate and they deserve our help and support.

It takes an enormous amount of courage to acknowledge that there is a problem and even more to actively do something to address it.
I don't think anyone unaffected by alcoholism or any other addiction can really appreciate just how difficult it is to begin to rid themselves of their addiction and once clean to maintain their sobriety.

AK907ICECOLD
reply to post by WeRpeons

 

I am taking care of his kid as he's yelling at his infant to "shut the F up" I know I shouldn't be here, but I can't.. I need to be there..

Sod your friend, he made / makes his choices but that poor child. What happens if he hits / shakes the baby.

I admire your tenacity but this child NEEDS to be in a SAFE environment with loving attachments with his / her carers.

Please ring social services ASAP and help to get this child removed.

My ex was an alcoholic. She kept it hidden for years, but eventually she couldn't hide it any longer.

Nothing I did or said helped her get to a place where she wanted to change. Eventually the relationship was, unsurprisingly, torn apart.

It was devastating. And tragically sad. I sincerely hope anybody with addiction problems can reach a point where they are ready to accept help and change their lives.

I don't think I have ever starred so many posts in one thread....basically every post has had one.

I have been married twice, and been in a long term relationship that lasted longer than both my marriages put together. Sadly, all three demised due to drink. All three men had a problem, and each was a different kind of alcoholism.

A couple of things I know for certain, having kids is not always enough to make them see they have a problem and secondly, taking away their 'safety net' by that I mean their support, ie your help to help them works. By that I mean, if you know somebody who has a problem but are in denial, and refuse to accept they have...walk away. If they have asked for your help...make sure you tell them that the minute they disrespect your help...your outta there. If you have kids in that situation...YOU ARE OUT OF THAT SITUATION>>>>>NO EXCUSES! Tough love works. Sometimes not for the person who has the problem, but certainly helps the person involved to be a little detached, and see things more clearly.
Sorry if I've not explained myself very well.

Rainbows
Jane

Alcohol, like some other consciousness-altering substances, can be a wonderful tonic or a fast track to
wreck and ruin. It depends solely on the individual. The old adage "No one is holding a gun to your head" couldn't apply more. Sadly, one of man's more foolish axioms seems to be "if a little is good, then more is better, and a whole lot is best." The intemperate, uncontrolled abuser almost always blames the demon substance.

Richard Burton, the actor, once said:
"When you're an alcoholic, it's always November, it's always 3 A.M., and it's always raining."
Whoa! When you reach this point, put the damn cork back in the jug for a bit.

reply to post by Rodinus


That was a good video. Very honest and to the point. When you start drinking, whether socially or otherwise, your life revolves around alcohol to a certain extent. When you stop drinking, the same applies. As an alcoholic, you find that you basically have to change your entire way of life. Why? Because of the alcohol. How many people do you know, besides the person who is dead serious about quitting drinking or doing drugs, make a conscious effort to change their entire way of life? Personally, I've never known one person who willingly does it just for the sake of it.

This is one of those things, alcoholism, that you don't really see the full effect of until you stop doing it. It took me 6 months before that "cloud" cleared and that's been about 20 years now. That realization was enough for me, "go dry or go die", but that realization isn't enough for some people. They die wet. The one's who make it, like that guy in the video, they're a minority within a minority. True alcoholics are a minority within the drinking community. True alcoholics are also a minority within the group that try to get sober and stay that way. Ask anyone who has been a part of AA for a good length of time and they'll tell you the same thing.

He mentioned that when you succeed at staying dry, you find yourself alone a lot. That's a truth most people will never know. It isn't pretty, but it is what it is.

reply to post by Rodinus


I want to give up smoking, and cut back on drinking, it is very hard. I have stopped smoking for months on end, but eventually I give in when I am going through a bad time, or drunk around a bunch of smokers. As for drinking, I have been there, I am young, but there are times, even now, when I will wake up and have a beer, then when I get home drink a 6pack before bed. When I can't drink it's tuff for a few days, same as smoking. I however have gone since christmas with only 0-2 drinks per day, and I feel as if I can try to grasp control. I am not out of control, killing myself and drinking and driving, it's just something to do after a long days work.

Also studies show that having 1-2 alcoholic drinks per day can help increase blood flow and heart/brain health. Binge drinking is where the problems start within your body. I try to avoid cheap beer, and drink micro and craft brews, they are much healthier, and you can drink less and feel satisfied with the taste, plus a higher alc content. Just some advice to anyone out there who is trying to cut back, because stopping all at once can actually make you sick.

I'm sure I'll be bashed for even posting this, as the OP's vid was about quitting completely, but I'm young yet, and don't want to never drink again, just not get drunk too often.

reply to post by HelenConway

I have many times, so has many other of our friends. But both of them don't answer the door, pull the shades down and hide unless there semi sober....

My friend always laughs how the cops come to his front and back door and knock for hours day and night and because they don't have a warrent and he can get away with murder..... he thinks his behavior is "funnny" F****ed up IMO

I am their only friend, and there about to lose me because they just get worse and worse. One day when she was high my buddy and I came home and baby was in the crib crying for probably more than 12-15 hours straight while she slept deep because of her addiction.... Shotty thing is if CPA came to more homes 2/3 of Alaskans would be jailed, and 1,000's of kids would be homeless.. very sad indeed.

Thanks for your reply.

reply to post by AK907ICECOLD


You sound like an amazing person - I am glad the little one has at least one person looking out for him.
The parents sound like drug addled idiots who are frankly dangerous around a small child.

Social services or children's protective services should act on your very, very serious concerns.

I cannot believe they don't.

But - then again in the UK it seems, you can abuse children and get away with it .. very sadly. This is because social workers cannot remove children who suffer from chronic neglect. They just place them on the child protective register and work with the parents. Who are often to far gone to work with - the child is often left in terrible circumstance, with drug addict / drunks for parents.

Very sad.

reply to post by HelenConway


Thank you for the compliment. But I'm nothing special.

Just another hypocritical man. I really do try and do my best for myself and the people around me.

I was abused as a child, and developed a mental illness, and cope with addition. Its a bit rough.

Nonetheless, I am happy now in my daily travels and try to return the love I received.

Thanks again, it means a lot, even far away.

Hi to all posters,

First of all please let me convey my sincerest wishes to each and everyone of you for a happy, heathly and joy filled new year.

Secondly, I would like to deeply thank all posters on this thread for sharing their experiences and for being so frank and would also like to apologise for not being on this thread as much as i would like to, but unfortunately my time is spent right now caring for my wife and her family at this difficult time.

Yesterday (the 1st of January), we were called by the hospitaal and asked to go as soon as possible as the doctor needed to talk with us.

My father in-laws state has worsened somewhat and he has now contracted septicemia (blood poisoning). Although he is slipping in and out of consciousness, he is fully aware of what is happening around him and apparently not suffering as the medical staff are doing a great job in improving the quality of what little life he has left.

It is only a matter of days/hours now before he leaves us and the waiting is so difficult for family members.

To see a man who was capable of slamming acacia pickets into the ground with a lump hammer one handed in one go reduced to nearly nothing and relying on family members to wet his lips when he is thirsty and wipe his forehead in the space of 3 weeks is truly heart wrenching...

Please keep contributing to this thread as each and every post counts (even if only in a very tiny way) in the battle against alcohol abuse and the cancer and health problems caused.

Kindest respects

Rodinus

reply to post by Rodinus


You can do it Rodinus. You can. In a few days I will have gotten to the 8 month mark of being cigarette free!!! I had smoked for well over 20 years. About a pack and a half a day, most of the time more. It is one of the hardest things I have done, but I am so thankful that I have been able to stick with it for that long. You will feel the differences in your body/breathing in around 7 days and it will just get better after that. I promise.

I am sorry about derailing your thread too. I was watching the video as I grew up with alcoholics and my brother is still struggling with it and I just could pass up your post on this as I scrolled through. I wanted to tell you that you could do it! And you can.

ETA - That I didn't read the whole thread and just saw the post about your father in law. I am sorry Rodinus. It is painful to see people we knew as so strong become so weak before our eyes. I am glad he doesn't seem to be in any pain. I will keep you and your's in my prayers and thoughts.

Kangaruex4Ewe
reply to post by Rodinus

 

You can do it Rodinus. You can. In a few days I will have gotten to the 8 month mark of being cigarette free!!! I had smoked for well over 20 years. About a pack and a half a day, most of the time more. It is one of the hardest things I have done, but I am so thankful that I have been able to stick with it for that long. You will feel the differences in your body/breathing in around 7 days and it will just get better after that. I promise.

I am sorry about derailing your thread too. I was watching the video as I grew up with alcoholics and my brother is still struggling with it and I just could pass up your post on this as I scrolled through. I wanted to tell you that you could do it! And you can.

ETA - That I didn't read the whole thread and just saw the post about your father in law. I am sorry Rodinus. It is painful to see people we knew as so strong become so weak before our eyes. I am glad he doesn't seem to be in any pain. I will keep you and your's in my prayers and thoughts.

edit on 1/2/2014 by Kangaruex4Ewe because: (no reason given)

Thanks for your words, thoughts and prayers which are much appreciated Kang. (even though i personally am not a believer... my wifes family are.)

No need to apologise my friend, you did not derail this thread in my opinion... just added your experiences which are more than respected and appreciated.

I WILL do it...!

Warmest respects

Rodinus

Sympathies Rodinus, terrible situation, I wish you and yours all the best.

And you're right, it's tragic to see. My ex was a strong beautiful smart woman, but the alcohol took it all away from her.

reply to post by Painterz


Thanks Paint...

I cannot say anymore...

Kindest respects

Rodinus

reply to post by Rodinus


I haven't watched the video yet.. I may.. Not sure. I just know all about alcohol and the addiction.
I grew up with both my parents being alcoholics. Whiskey was their choice. My mom handed me my first drink when I was 13. And from then on, I snuck alcohol and drank. My parents never noticed.

My mom passed away on the 29th of may in 2011. This was due to alcohol and pills. She drank all day everyday for years towards the end. She hid drinks everywhere and she died of liver failure. Right when she was gonna quit.. Because I told her I wouldn't let her see my son(her grandson) anymore... But it was too late (my guilt sometimes hurts real bad for saying that to her at all)

She had finally decided to quit.. And it was too late.. That just pains my heart!!! But at the same time, I feel everything happens for a reason..and she was supposed to pass on.

I did have a bad problem with alcohol...then I fell off a balcony and kinda woke up with a brain injury in all.. I still drank but not as much.. Then after my mom passed, I kept drinking.. And finally.. I realized, I don't need alcohol all the time. I see no wrong with alcohol..it's when you abuse it, that's when it becomes a problem.

Both sides of my family have addiction probs with alcohol... My uncle ..is now over 70days sober!! And his dad is over 20yrs sober!! My grandma(moms mom) has been sober for 16yrs now. some family members are still functioning alcoholics though..

Alcohol can consume you and drag you down if you're not careful... And like I said I see no problem with it, I just think that anything in excess is bad ...

Peace to you ~~>>
-nat

reply to post by natalia


Thank you deeply from the very depths of my heart Nat...

I am currently waiting for my wife to return from a docs appintment as we have just recieved a phone call from the hospital.

My father in-law has slipped into a coma and they would like us all to come as soon as possible.

I may not be here for a couple of days.

Kindest respects

Rodinus

reply to post by Rodinus


Rod this is the best thread I've read in a very long time.

Know my friend that we are with you in spirit, and that our hearts go out to you and your family at this very difficult time.

Stay strong my friend, you've always been there for me,

Now know that I'm here for you if you want or need it

Hugs and a gentle hand to hold

Cody

Some people's relatives came over on the Mayflower. Mine had their own dedicated bar stools a the Legion. I come from a long line of alcoholics, and to be brief, I will simply say that I watched my father drink to the point of passing out EVERY night of my childhood. Most often passing out was proceeded by him beating me, beating other family members or pets, verbally abusing me, threatening to kill me (or others), or some combination, thereof. Understandably, I have zero tolerance for drunks and I don't drink for fear of ever becoming like what I hate most.

What I have read here though from some of you that are struggling or have struggled with alcoholism, is that you admitted you have a problem and are working towards a solution. For that, I applaud you. Most alcoholics that I have ever been associated with are so self-absorbed that they can not admit they have a problem. Good luck with your recovery. I wish you well.