Why does everyone mysteriously hate/dislike me for no reason? Is the shadow gov behind it?

JBA2848
reply to post by wutdouthink

 

Seems you and michael1888 should hit it off together. Seems your both from California and have more in common then just sign up at ATS together but also the Plenty of Fish dating site.

That introduction thread kind of shows you are one in the same if not partners in some thing.
www.abovetopsecret.com...

Dishonesty is a good way to have no friends.

I thought ATS added a way to track IPs to get rid of the Sockpupets?

I guess even ATS gets hit with the propaganda.
I guess this is to suggest to people to look out for those people out there who might be depressed over the Holiday Seasons. They could have just made a thread about that then scammed the star and flag to put it on the front page? But there is nothing like a good story though. Carry on. Nothing to see here sheeple.

edit on 30-12-2013 by JBA2848 because: (no reason given)

I am Scottish, always have been. Plenty of fish? Get real

JBA2848
reply to post by wutdouthink

 

Mix up posting in the other thread.

www.abovetopsecret.com...

Dating website wihich seems to tie you two together.
www.pof.com...

Pictures from the two profiles there.

pics.pof.com...

pics.pof.com...

this guy has lost it!

I SHALL NEVER TAKE A POST OF YOURS SERIOUSLY. ALL BEWARE OF JBA2848

reply to post by wutdouthink



Could be. They are some control freaks and I mean freaks. They are control freaks like some are murdering psychopaths and with about as much moral conundrum about it. They are control psychopaths.

LiveForever8

wutdouthink
Nope, not true. I try my best to be nice.

Yeah, but there is nice...

...and then there is nice...

One is not so nice.

OP...doesn't matter if you're young or old, people can have this problem at any age.

There's an old saying, and it seems to be mostly true...if you go looking for something with determination, it generally tends to remain elusive...if you don't care, it will come to you.

In other words...you're trying too hard and that DOES show to others. It's shows up as clingy, needy and even desparate.

People shy away from that, especially when they first meet someone, it puts them off.

Best policy is to not try to make friends..that doesn't mean be cold to people, or don't talk to them, but don't actively try to get them to like you, because i reckon it is this effort to appear nice, interesting, intelligent or friendly, that is coming across as being someone who is craving attention or is otherwise offputting.

Relax...be cool in character (i don't mean trendy, i mean just mellow out) don't actively try to impress anyone with how nice and friendly you are...they'll discover that for themselves in time.

You're articulate, witty and appear to have time on your side...it WILL work itself out..you just have to do one thing...care LESS about being accepted.

The more you put into being liked, the weirder it will appear to others.

Just chill out, relax...be yourself. It will come to you, you just have to make the mental decision not to care about it one way or the other.

You'll see.

reply to post by wutdouthink


Fascinating question.

I have had a similar reality in SOME respects most of my 66 years. Yet, I've also had more close durable friends than anyone I know. So, I'm kind of on both ends of the continuum. LOL.

I know a lot of my stuff is that my "bird of rare plumage" personality is DEFINITELY NOT a "one size fits all" kind of thing.

The other major issue is that most people don't know what to do with and mostly can't handle:

1. My own characteristic vulnerability. I've moderated that a lot--turned the volume down on it a lot--particularly in most settings with most people.

2. My candor. Most folks really don't want to hear the truth--about much of anything--particularly about themselves and/or their lives.

3. My perceptiveness, discernment, spiritual sensitivity. My boss once told my wife that I was the sort of person who "knows what you're thinking before you realize that you don't want him to know what you're thinking."

4. Sometimes it's a straight out spiritual conflict. Spiritual entities in and around the other person(s) don't want anything to do with me and definitely don't want the person they influence so heavily to have anything to do with me because I'd threaten the control over the other person.

= = = =

All that being said,

I don't think I have enough information to give you the kind of feedback you are asking for and need. I don't know if it's possible to send pics to U2U . . . but you could try. If I could see 3-4 pics of you face on where I could clearly see your eyes, I MIGHT be able to give you some added input.

.

Another HUGE FACTOR IS . . . the oligarchy has conditioned, distracted, trained most of the masses of serfs and slaves running around loose on our planet to AVOID, SABOTAGE, SHRED, MANGLE, RUN FROM, DESTROY INTIMACY AND DURABLE RELATIONSHIPS IN GENERAL. It's a mass epidemic.

They know that disconnected cogs in their great machine are more easily controlled and less of a threat to their tyrannical regime.

They know that disconnected cogs in their great machine have greater amounts of cortisol flooding their bodies in their blood--thereby helping remove more of the population from the planet faster by earlier deaths.

They know that disconnected cogs in their great machine are more vulnerable to the destructive influences of demonic and other negative forces--further destroying families, marriages and parenting relationship qualities and connections.

Another HUGE factor is that the efforts of the oligarchy have substituted electronic pseudo-surface relationships for the authentic face-to-face dialogues and touch emphasized, enhanced relationships we were designed to luxuriate in.

Another HUGE factor is the epidemic of ATTACHMENT DISORDER across the planet.


ATTACHMENT DISORDER THREAD LINK:

www.abovetopsecret.com...


Therefore, people are

1. afraid of intimacy--many actually viscerally terrified of it.

2. orphans. We are a populace of orphans. Orphans care only for 2 things--food/provision and safety/security. Everything else is suspect, ignored, avoided, ran from as a threat.

3. inherently by conditioning, clumsy, awkward, obtuse, shallow, and avoidant of anything substantive though they greatly crave intimacy by design. What a horrendous paradox.

4. immune to other people reaching out to them inviting intimacy, dialogue, lasting Friendship. It's water off a duck.


= = = =

Also, I know from my own more intense ATTACHMENT DISORDERED earlier years that SIMPLY BEING NEEDY can be sensed by a lot of people and they are terrified of it. They are afraid that one's neediness for dialogue, intimacy will be like a big black hole sucking them into oblivion as an individual if they get or stay too close to such intense, deep-seated neediness.

That can be the case even though one doggedly keeps one's neediness "under wraps" and unexpressed overtly. Somehow, they sense that it's still there, lurking in the closet, ready to jump out and get a !CONTROLLING! STRANGLE-HOLD on their personhood, identity, freedom.

The only solution I know for the latter is to work doggedly in therapy and in life to become secure, confident, at peace in one's own person and simply to need other people less to complete you. That's a challenge because we were designed to NEED one another to some degree. It's quite a tricky dance to walk those thin lines healthily, too often.

It also helps tremendously to have a light-hearted great sense of humor easily and quickly expressed. Not an oppressive buffoon sort but a laid-back, gentle, easy, readily available sense of humor.

And, it helps to be interested in others with an OPEN HANDED sort of stance, tone, attitude. NOT with a hand ready to grab the other person with a death grip that doesn't let go. But an open hand--the other person can take it or leave it without fear of retaliation or huffy-ness in response.

. . . .

I guess that's my "core dump" on the topic. My heart goes out to you. Been there. Done that. Still live with it to some degree.

reply to post by darkbake

Females with autism are able to function in society differently than males in a lot of cases - but experience stress, and their chameleon-like abilities due to differing neurological and social structures than guys often make them go un-diagnosed.

that's interesting

reply to post by JBA2848


OH! that is odd.

reply to post by randyvs


I'm pretty good myself at helping people out of their shell, that's why I threw my two cents into this thread as well, plus I like helping people. And I did see the humor in what you were saying but I didn't want to comment on it, just in case you were being serious.

Ok, some basics (I too have had trouble making friends because I grew up in the military where we moved every 2 years and I had to learn how to make lasting friends at an older age)

Shower daily. Fix your hair into a decent style daily. Wear at least minimal makeup daily. Keep your nails short and clean. Brush your teeth daily. (People notice these things I have learned)

Pay attention to fashion. You do not have to be super fashionable, just notice what type of jeans most wear and what type of shirt most wear (keep them clean and hole free) and change your outfits daily. Rotate your wardrobe. Wear the types of shoes (clean and hole free) that most of the people around you wear. I learned a lot of this at a job in my 20s, people unfortunately do care and judge you on these things.

Needy behavior is repellant. Only initiate contact with someone who has not initiated with you no more than once a week for 2 weeks, if they do not respond, wait 2 weeks, if they still do not respond, then forget them. If someone contacts you, get back to them in an appropriate amount of time depending on what they say. For immediate invites, respond immediately. For non urgent matters wait a few hours or even a day or so to reply, this is so you do not seem needy.

Do not ask favors of people you barely know. Do not act upset when someone turns down a request for contact, they may be genuinely busy, you getting upset where they see it or hear it in your voice is needy behavior. Be cheerful and say - that is ok I understand when turned down.

I have some friends I had to cut off because of their constant needy behavior which was driving my family crazy. They constantly expected me to drop what I was doing and be with them or do for them, or they would pout or be fussy.

Do ask people to do things with you and go places with you, then wait for them to ask you, after that you should ask them again. Do not keep asking for contact if the person does not return the favor. Friendship that builds is a back and forth pathway that builds slowly if it is to be solid.

Be kind, help when asked cheerfully, be generous (but not overly generous). Be thoughful, remember and ask about ill relatives, a worry over a test, a worry over a car etc. (make notes if you have to in order to remind yourself until you get the hang of it) Talk as little about yourself as possible, unless asked, ask the other person questions about themselves and be genuinely interested and remember what they say and respond to what they say, but not about yourself or what you know, just an oh, ahh, I see, oh how awful, what else happened etc.

Print this out and post it in your closet for daily review.

reply to post by grandmakdw


Isn't it sad that people are so superficial?

And good looking people get hired first and ...............................fat people.................and homeless guy with the .........and...................

Stormdancer777
reply to post by grandmakdw

 

Isn't it sad that people are so superficial?

And good looking people get hired first and ...............................fat people.................and homeless guy with the .........and...................

You are correct, it is sad, and it is sad I had to learn all this the hard way, through people teasing me. If only we could somehow see the soul and heart of a person first, rather than the superficial outer layer that can be so deceiving.

Honestly, it usually takes more to turn a guy off than a girl. If you are putting everyone off after a couple dates it's probably because your clingy. Since you've never had a real relationship, you really want one, to your own detrimate. If my phone blows up from someone, to me they appear desperate and although I can understand that, chemically that behavior is a repellant.....like an internal early warning system, whether I know it or not.

From your OP you sound like a nice person and appear to not be retarded assuming of course you werent joking about the govt. abducting friends to not make them friends.

reply to post by wutdouthink


I've scanned your replies and wish to revise my previous response. First, I think you are confusing indifference with hate/dislike. You say you don't wish to talk about your interests, so you just keep things superficial - but if you're not offering friendship how can you expect to get it? You say you want friends but only talk about your 'relationships' with men - are you looking for friends, lovers or what? You say you want to figure out 'what's wrong' but insist there's no point trying - if you've already made that decision, why ask for help? Frankly, none of it washes. imho - you're in big psychological trouble and need professional help but quick, or else you're compiling a psych profile on the ATS members who respond honestly.

reply to post by wutdouthink


Hi again.

I didnt want you to think i was ignoring you.

I see you have gotten tons of replies. Thats great. Even though i think a lot of them are just sarcastic. Which is prob to be expected.
Ive noticed quite a few have even offered their friendship, and so much really good advice.

Im not really known for my overwhelming optimism, but i too find a lot of comfort in this vast community here. Its important for me to know that, even though most people in the real world disagree or just dont care about the subject matter that im interested in, i can always come on here and find a few folks who are likeminded. And if i get too far into left field they are happy to ridicule me back onto the middle road.

So my question is. What have you taken from this discussion? Is there any advice that has clicked? Anything you are going to try differently?

I really think this is not such an odd problem to have.

Cheers

HappyWarrior
Jesus Christ, you know your crazy when you start blaming the government for not having friends.

These words are truer than true.

reply to post by michael1888


When things go on like this around town you question everything.

www.abovetopsecret.com...

Treespeaker
reply to post by Char-Lee

 

Just because the folks you place trust in are false doesn't mean there are not folks out there that are friends.

We come in all shapes and sizes but have more in common than folks really realize.

I will wear your shoes, and you can have mine....that way we can get to know each other.

Peace.

That is very kind of you. I tried but each time I was left stunned by humankind. I don't mind being alone I am an artist and I love to read, I am afraid of more pain and so I no longer venture to join in. My husband is my friend and he puts up with my antisocial behavior knowing the why I guess.

Like the op there are things about me that just will not be acceptable to others.
I will not follow fashion, the whole idea makes me laugh.

I am honest all the time and if you ask me to tell you something be prepared to hear the truth (oh I learned the hard way that is not what people want). I am not changing that is me.

I give others take, I care, I am there when needed and hold fast. I have found no one who has done this for me. Not even my husband.

I don't find the same things others do as funny. I have a very different sense of humor, I laugh at my own jokes .

I don't like swearing...words and their meanings are important to me and words used in this way seem really stupid and ugly to me.

I don't smoke, don't need parties, seldom drink, have never done any drugs avoid even over the counter ones almost always, not interested in false corporate manipulated holidays.

I love the earth, nature in all forms. I love people from afar and am saddened by many of them. have cried for them.

I think I have become somewhat numb.

Are my shoes kinda squishy and uncomfortable?

reply to post by Char-Lee



That could have been written by me, except I enjoy smoking (and I hate it at the same time).

Can some members of ATS partake in an experiment, where they befriend the OP and enter a platonic online relationship, and then after some time, report back to either the OP in private, of if you want to share the juice, to this thread, and give a summary and ideas of what you think is 'going on' with this situation?

wutdouthinkSo what do you guys think is causing people to ignore me for no reason? Just remember my pattern:

1)first they show interest
2)then they begin ignoring me
3)repeat with different guy, go back to step 1

WTF?

1.) I think you are confusing 'making friends' with 'dating'. They are two different things.

2.) Us guys are dicks.

3.) Certain places have crappier people than other places. Case in point - Nashville was voted the friendliest city in the country. I don't doubt it. Everyone I talked to when I was there was nicer than nice. On the other hand, I've been to more than half of the states in the country and to 4 countries outside the U.S. The worst people I've ever met live in the Chicago area.

4.) Avoid people with a 'group' mentality. They aren't individual thinkers and rely on the group for direction. If you pissed off one of them, the whole trailer park might be after you. And yes, since you were 8 years old even. It's the 'high school clique' mentality. The gang or cult mentality. Nice people don't care if you're one of the 'cool kids' or not.

I wish you all the luck in the world. Go and be you. Do the things you like to do. With or without someone else. I guarantee if people see your enthusiasm, someone will want to be a part of it.