I hate Chritmas

reply to post by calstorm


My friend is missing....still.....since march of this year.
I feel for his Mom....Christmas calls with no mention of the fact her son is still missing and my kids best friend,

No one is acknowlegeing it.

Yeah, I hate christmas too right now

We hit the brewskie early.... no one is acknowleging the people we miss dearly and love.

ETA.................RIP ........... Rocky, I love ya Brother and miss you!!

I didnt decorate this year.... I think I know why now. new place and my son's friend is still missing. We are past the poimt of the news/public caring anymore.

Doesn't make it any easier..... maybe explains my truly snarky posts and general bitchiness.
I am sorry, I miss this kid.
Talked to his mom before I posted and I am the only one who acknowleged why she is in a bad mood.
her son is still missing...........she is supposed to be happy??


Sorry OP, I think I derailed your thread, my opologies....

reply to post by spartacus699






Your post reminded me of something I once heard - don't know who to credit with it >


The past is history

The future a mystery

Today is a gift ... that's why its called a/the present!

reply to post by palmalBlue2


I am sorry for your loss. I will be thinking about you.

whyamIhere
go talk with a Pro...

Just in case someone actually TAKES that advice...

“Biological psychiatry is a total fraud.” — Fred Baughman,

“Psychiatry” has NO, and I mean ZERO medical basis whatsoever.

Psychiatry is a Total Fraud

Metallicus
Don't spend your time hating. Life's too short.

Besides there are so many truly awful things in this world that would make more sense for your rant. Don't you at least enjoy your family and the positive energy?

Anyway, merry Christmas and I hope you feel better.

edit on 2013/12/24 by Metallicus because: sp

That is one of the things...most people do not find nor see positive energy in it.

The shoppers look pressed and put upon and worried about the money and the gifts (please look at faces of the shoppers) they often go deeper into debt because of the stupid frivolous gifts that will often not be appreciated or like or be thrown out.

The whole happy happy in songs and lights are fake and clearly does not represent the family fights and the criticized gifts and criticized meals the over drinking and crud, the pain of not getting for kids or not being able to give for parents.

I have seen the suffering far more than the supposed positive. I have also suffered from poverty and being laughed at at school for having not gotten anything for Christmas or not bring an exchange gift the teachers insisted on doing in classes.

What does this have to do with Jesus? Nothing! Absolutely NOTHING.

Like many others on here, my Father died suddenly when I was 8 Christmas eve, my brother died on Christmas eve many years later so I also have that reason for finding it a sad time.

reply to post by mblahnikluver

Only one person seemed to be a little bothered by it which ALSO bothered me.

Oh yes I left out the disgusting expectations. Kids greedily think parents owe them the latest trash and everyone EXPECTS things so how is that a gift? Forgot someone...OH NO...yes like you I hate getting gifts and feeling I must reciprocate or someone is hurt.

Christmas cards waste thousands of acres of trees and end in a few days in the trash...why can't people express love all year in some other way.

Food waste over the holidays makes me scream..I hate waste!

reply to post by palmalBlue2

Talked to his mom before I posted and I am the only one who acknowleged why she is in a bad mood.
her son is still missing...........she is supposed to be happy??

People talk about the giving but this is more of what i see to be the truth...

People feel like you better show your happy face and not bring us down on the holiday while we are having fun. Do they really care about anyone but themselves and their fun and THEIR happy holidays?

julesindesert
reply to post by palmalBlue2

 

I am sorry for your loss. I will be thinking about you.

Thank you, this christmas could you please keep Mom [Robin] in your thoughts.....she is going through hell right now.
She is a stronger person than I am cause there is NO WAY i could deal with people that wouldn't acknowlege my son.

No, you don't have to respond to my post, just think of Robin in your thoughts, she's the Mom and I know she misses her kid.

Thank you soo much and merry christmas.

Christmas, just like any other day, is what you make it. Blaming any day for making you feel worse is not taking responsibility for facing the issues you have, and dealing with them. Whatever happened that concerned you, quit focusing on it as something that happened to you, quit being a victim, because guess what? Life went on, and you survived. Get on with life and come to terms with what happened rather than allowing it to control you, you need to take control.

Christmas did nothing to you.

By the same token, like it or leave it, but don't blame it. Christmas is nothing but an overcommercialized set of days. Celebrate it, or don't. In the end, your choices affect no one but you. You choose to not participate? Fine, but don't portray yourself as being victimized by Christmas. It is what you make it. If you want to make it your pity party holiday, at least be honest about it.

I personally feel disgusted at the commercialism of Christmas. I don't care if "it's not really Christ's birthday"!

No one really knows when Christ was born, they just guess. I am a Christian, so I choose to celebrate the birth of Christ, minus the commercialism, at Christmas. The time of the year is what me and my family have made it. We don't put up a tree, we don' t exchange much in the way of gifts. If we see something at a fantastic price, we don't buy it for someone under the guise of a "gift", we buy it because it may be a great price, and it is something they may need or want. Usually need. Just as we would were it any other time of year.

We have spent a grand total of 86.00 on Christmas. That was including shipping. A printer, two pillows, and four stoneware microwaveable bowls, two over the door towel racks.

See. It's what you make it. The rest of our time will be spent enjoying the time off, spending time with people we want to see, not that we feel obligated to see, and spending time alone together. Then, we will celebrate, outside of an organized religious church, the birth of Christ. We started, and continue, our own Christmas traditions. We don't participate in things people have dictated that we must. Our lives are our own, just as yours is.

Do what you want. In the scheme of things, a whole lot of people won't be affected. Only those close, if there is anyone. If not, then you only have yourself to ask why not. Reach out or not, play the victim or not, but it is, and will continue to be, what you make it.

If you cannot cope with what happened, then do seek help. Deal with it, and get on with life. Dwelling on things, and carrying such angst isn't healthy, and well, someone needed to tell you that.

I hope you take it in the spirit it's meant, but likely not. You still read it, and your subconscious won't be able to ignore that.

I hope you can move past it, victimhood is pretty miserable.

reply to post by Libertygal





"THUMBS UP"

That's what I call tough love/talking works better than any over compensating!!

Char-Lee
reply to post by palmalBlue2

 

Talked to his mom before I posted and I am the only one who acknowleged why she is in a bad mood.
her son is still missing...........she is supposed to be happy??

People talk about the giving but this is more of what i see to be the truth...

People feel like you better show your happy face and not bring us down on the holiday while we are having fun. Do they really care about anyone but themselves and their fun and THEIR happy holidays?

Robin seen your post and agreed.
I couldnt help her except give her a brief respite while she was at my place.
Thank you for your thoughts

Libertygal
Christmas, just like any other day, is what you make it. Blaming any day for making you feel worse is not taking responsibility for facing the issues you have, and dealing with them. Whatever happened that concerned you, quit focusing on it as something that happened to you, quit being a victim, because guess what? Life went on, and you survived. Get on with life and come to terms with what happened rather than allowing it to control you, you need to take control.

Christmas did nothing to you.

By the same token, like it or leave it, but don't blame it. Christmas is nothing but an overcommercialized set of days. Celebrate it, or don't. In the end, your choices affect no one but you. You choose to not participate? Fine, but don't portray yourself as being victimized by Christmas. It is what you make it. If you want to make it your pity party holiday, at least be honest about it.

I personally feel disgusted at the commercialism of Christmas. I don't care if "it's not really Christ's birthday"!

No one really knows when Christ was born, they just guess. I am a Christian, so I choose to celebrate the birth of Christ, minus the commercialism, at Christmas. The time of the year is what me and my family have made it. We don't put up a tree, we don' t exchange much in the way of gifts. If we see something at a fantastic price, we don't buy it for someone under the guise of a "gift", we buy it because it may be a great price, and it is something they may need or want. Usually need. Just as we would were it any other time of year.

We have spent a grand total of 86.00 on Christmas. That was including shipping. A printer, two pillows, and four stoneware microwaveable bowls, two over the door towel racks.

See. It's what you make it. The rest of our time will be spent enjoying the time off, spending time with people we want to see, not that we feel obligated to see, and spending time alone together. Then, we will celebrate, outside of an organized religious church, the birth of Christ. We started, and continue, our own Christmas traditions. We don't participate in things people have dictated that we must. Our lives are our own, just as yours is.

Do what you want. In the scheme of things, a whole lot of people won't be affected. Only those close, if there is anyone. If not, then you only have yourself to ask why not. Reach out or not, play the victim or not, but it is, and will continue to be, what you make it.

If you cannot cope with what happened, then do seek help. Deal with it, and get on with life. Dwelling on things, and carrying such angst isn't healthy, and well, someone needed to tell you that.

I hope you take it in the spirit it's meant, but likely not. You still read it, and your subconscious won't be able to ignore that.

I hope you can move past it, victimhood is pretty miserable.

edit on 24-12-2013 by Libertygal because: (no reason given)

Im not blaming Christmas for why I am miserable, but the fact my friend is out there somewhere and I can't share the laughs, giggles and stupidness we had last year.

Cops say he is dead, funny cause ntil I see a body, its not official.

ETA....how can I make it happy and 'its what you make of it' if Rocky is not here?

mods.......don't delete the names cause its a very public case.....or I should say that it was and can still be archived.



I read the Op and all I can say is that unless you have been in thier shoes , you have no room to talk.
Seriously, I know why I am having a difficult time so let me ask you Liberty, have you been just under a year with the death or worse diissaperarence of a loved one....

There was a time when I would have agrreed with you for the most part on this post, and normally I do agree with you......however...NOTHING....no book, no coundelor could have prepered me for what I am experienceing tonight.

I should make another thread and I am sorry OP.....

reply to post by calstorm


I can understand you hating Christmas. I know others who have negative experiences associated with it. The thing is, hating it only hurts you, and doesn't affect anyone else. Traditions are difficult, if one has no basis for forming them.

I am one of those people I was talking about. I pushed past it, and formed my own traditions. My darlin' and me don't do a lot for Christmas, but what we do, we do every year and will keep doing so, because it reinforces our own ideals, and has come to become enjoyable.

We have to make our own way in life. I don't want to allow things I don't like to occupy space in my head; I only have so much storage to spare.

Sometimes it helps to know that others share your perceptions, and for that I appreciate your candor. I wish for you to find something you can enjoy and smite the hatred that clouds this time of the year for you.

Mental peace,

argentus

reply to post by lazernation

Some hate their family but feel duty bound to visit, Some don't have any family or loved ones so feel lonelier than normal, some are too poor to be able to buy gifts for their children and get sad because they know their children will feel left out or even be taunted when back at school by friends who got new tech and other stuff they didn't need, many tens of millions of people won't be able to afford food any better than the gruel they normally afford.

For those who hate their family, they don't have to spend time with them. They can choose to be with a good friend instead. They do have choices.

For poor families, there are many charitable organizations that donate thousands of gifts of toys and clothing for children and welfare provides entire holiday meals for poor people. There are also many donations of new coats and gloves and shoes etc. We also have what's calIed adopting a family every year where you get the number of family members, how many adults, how many children and their wish lists for xmas. You can give as uch as you want.

I do realize that there are those who somehow fall through the cracks and my heart goes out to them. Remember, there are always those who try to seek these folks out to help in any way that they can.

Tens of thousands will be living on the street. People will be abused, domestic violence will increase, violence on the streets will increase, people will overdose on booze and drugs, drunk drivers will kill more innocent people than normal, private debt will increase and many people will be forced to take holiday which they cannot afford to take, meaning they will be even poorer than normal after this time of joy. There will be utter misery in villages, towns and cities across the world.

There are no special days for abuse of people, drugs and alcohol. It will happen holiday or no holiday and that is always tragic. There are always those who pay far more than they have to on Christmas, not that they have to at all, but they choose to. Any family or friend should know when someone can't afford to exchange gifts and should let that person know that it doesn't matter, that nothing but their love and presence is expected. If the person still insists, they can do amazingly well at dollar and other discount stores. They can even get pinecones from the forest for free, glue a cheap little cardinal bird on top and add a bow and you have a pretty ornament. If you bake, make special inexpensive treats. There are tons of really cheap but great ideas.

Magic and wonder? I truly don't understand this...

My husband lost his Mother a week before Christmas many years ago. We all wondered how we would possibly face Christmas after such devestation. When Christmas came, the family, knowing that their Mother wouldn't want their Christms to be sorrowful, pulled together with much warmth and love and celebrated in her honor. It was a lovely Christmas inspite of her passing because we knew she was there with us in spirit, that it was what she would have wished for us.

The same when my Father passed away. We couldn't imagine how we would get through the holidays without him. Again, he always loved Christmas and the last thing he would have wanted was for Christmas to be forever ruined because of him. We too had a lovely Christmas with many magical memories of holidays past.

The magic and wonder is the heartfelt love, the simplest of things meaning the most, not expensive gifts. The giving to those in need, the sharing of laughter and love and compassion and peace... even when I was fighting for my very life with cancer, I was surrounded by family, friends and even strangers who donated things like necklaces for the patients. People who would bring over soup or some goodies or give me a handmade card. People genuinely care for others. I had a wonderful Christmas inspite of my illness because of the magic and wonder of others who impacted my life and made all the difference in the world because of love.

You seem like a nice person and I don't want you to be angry with me

I am a nice person and I am not angry with you. I know we live in a chaotic, cold and often cruel world. I have depression and anxiety. For me though, when out at night and looking at all the beautiful lights, sometimes even just single candles in each window is magical to me, special and apart from every other day especially cold, grey and dreary winter days. Seeing the goodwill and cheer that others try to bring is also special. My life can be hellish enough and I want to hold on to Christmas magic and wonder, it's one of the few wonderful things I have left.

I cant go to a grave site because there isnt one. Been that way for while.
we did our own here, but stil...
there is no closure.

palmalBlue2
I cant go to a grave site because there isnt one. Been that way for while.
we did our own here, but stil...
there is no closure.

My heart goes out to you. It's a horrible thing to have to go through. I wish things could be different for a lot of people and a lot of reasons. Hugs!!

I like Christmas and it was always my favorite time of year, I think some people might have had bad experiences at this time (I lost my dear father during the Christmas season) but I have learned it wasn't the fault of Christmas so I am able to deal with it.
I am a Christian and most of us know Christ probably was born in October but December 25th became a day that Christians happen to use to celebrate it.
I like rock music but this time of year I can listen to this little angel (Jackie Evancho) sing my favorite 'oldie' "Oh Holy Night" It will bring chills to you I hope, it does for me!

reply to post by palmalBlue2

Yannow, this wasn't directed at you. You kind of came in and started talking about the disappearance of someone, a bit of a different issue than what was addressed. I did not address you and your issue specifically, because no, I have not experienced a missing person.

Kind of needs it's own thread, IMO. But hey, that's just me.

Sometimes, it isn't always about you, and you should have been able to discern that.


Obviously, the loss of someone is a lot different than the OP. My post was to the OP.

ETA: In response to the rest of your post, yes, I lost my daughter-in-law, who was also my best friend, late this September. Without going into details, it also caused me to lose my 3 step-grandchildren, whom I have not seen since the funeral.

I also just found out less than a week ago I may have kidney cancer at worst, but I do have a serious, and rare, kidney disease.

I still don't blame Christmas. It will not ruin my celebration of the birth of Christ. That is in my heart, not a store, not under a tree in my livingroom.

You know nothing of my past, my life, so you have no right to say anything about me walking in someone elses' shoes.

Perhaps, just perhaps, I have, and I felt that I could identify, hence why I offered some words.

On the other hand, whatever you are going through, deal with it in your way. As I said, the spirit in which my post was written to the OP would likely be missed, and that's okay, because at least one person got it.

reply to post by calstorm


What has December done for me? or undone I should say.

1) depressed the hell out of me with that "everything will be alright because its Christmas" bullsh*t. f**k Christmas, its been nothing but 1 major disappointment since 2006. which brings me to point 2

2) the sh*tty ass weather has ruined many a December. it's particular annoying nowadays because I need good weather in order to have a semi-clear signal for the Internet (as you know I need to talk to people).

3) the whole "family together" thing "just because its Christmas". yes, it seems that Christmas is the root of all problems, doesn't it? why is it such a big deal to be with people for 1 day you don't even speak to or visit (when you very easily could walk 3 blocks and see them) for the rest of the year? if anything, you should see people you wont normally see at all or people you WANT to spend time with. but then it might lead to my first point and become hypocritical of me IF it is for the "well, its Christmas" reason.

you should see people because you want to, not because some strange old dudes a sheep herder and a freaking star all appeared over a stable where some pregnant virgin finally dropped her load. I'm seeing friends i want to see in 3 weeks because I actually want to not because of this Christmas crap. Jesus wont get his family together on your birthday and make models of your family all bunched up together in a delivery room so don't do it for him. f**k Christianity.

4) my birthday. this may sound selfish but I hate my birthday. purely for the fact that its totally over shadowed by the worst holiday ever. it's got to the point where I don't want a birthday any more because quite frankly if nobody else can be bothered to pay attention to it then I wont either. You know what I got for my birthday one year? a pocket dictionary. HOO-F**KING-RAY!!! now I can define things on the go. go fist yourself, grandmother.

5) the advertising.... the worst thing about December and the months leading up to it by far is the advertising. you know what moth I saw my first Christmas ad this year was? AUGUST!!!!!! August?!?! kids have not even got back to school yet and were being force fed x-mas dribble crap. I don't even want to watch TV at this time in case I have a seizure from the fairy lights and snowflakes on EVERY COMMERCIAL!!!!!!! and when the day when everybody gets disappointed finally has come and gone ...they still show this crap!!!!! no wonder there are so many fights during this time. this sh*t drives me mad just talking about it

6) the idiots who decorate their houses. go on.. waste your electricity. look like an attention wh0re. you are the only thing that amuses me this time of year..and not because the lights are pretty or the Homer Simpson "Father Christmas" (I'll be dead before I call him Santa) is humorous. you look like idiots and you'll not be smiling when you have to take that sh*t down when its pissing down with icy rain.

what should we do about it though? how do we stop December from being such a sh*tty month?

I have a solution.

there are 365 days in the year (leap years don't count). 13 x 28 is 364 if I am not mistaken. (yes, google calculator just proved me right) which means we could in theory have 13 months of 28 days except 1 with 29 (and it will get the extra day on leap years because its just superior in that way).

how will this get rid of December?

well, we just don't have one. with the new fair equal opportunities calender (except for February who will be the only surviving original month with its 29th day) no more December. sure it wont fix the weather but who gives a f**k, I want a new calender.