Judge, Part 1 [Dec 2013]

Judge


A Sunday afternoon, a bit overcast, but still warm for October. I was on the sidewalk, not a care in the world, when I was thrown to the ground rather suddenly. The shock of this had barely registered when a new sensation arrived-the feeling of a tremendous weight pushing me down and pinning me to the earth.

I couldn’t move a muscle, but I could tell one thing for sure-there was nobody on top of me. I didn’t know what was wrong with my body. These days, there’s something wrong with my body almost every day, but this was new. Every muscle in my body locked up tight, and all of them were straining against each other in an effort to move. I managed to break free and roll over on my back, and my entire body started convulsing. I was completely terrified, certain I was having a stroke or something. Finally, the shaking stopped and I managed to sit up. Immediately, I went to my knees. I didn’t have a choice. I was kneeling on the grass with my head on the sidewalk. The concrete was cool and out of the corner of my eye, I saw an ant crawling around in circles. I tried to get up, but it was impossible. The ground was a magnet, and my legs were steel. Again, I felt tremendous force crushing down on me. It wasn’t painful, but I was absolutely under its control.

I could feel waves of power begin to wash over me. I couldn’t see them, of course, but somehow, I knew they were there. Something deep inside of me could feel them, falling down from the sky and breaking across my back like tidal energy. Each wave sent chills down my spine that fanned outward and infused my limbs with cold, burning fire. At the same time, I felt every sense of self that I possessed suddenly compared to the vastness of the cosmos, and I felt so utterly insignificant and powerless in the face of it, that I abandoned every shred of pride and considered myself lower than dirt. Everything that made me me was washed away, and all that was left was the awareness that I existed and that whatever it was that I had encountered was everything that I was not.

I know what you’re thinking, and no, I’ve never done any type of drug in my life, and not long after the Incident, I went and got a CAT scan to see if I had a brain tumor. I took all kinds of personality tests, too. I’m not crazy. I’ve only told one other person about this-a priest. He said that it sounded like I was visited by the Lord and that I had been blessed. I never told him the rest of the story, though, about how some decidedly unorthodox things that happened after that, things that didn’t exactly line up with Scripture. Eternity’s a long time, and I try not to think about it.

What I do know is that I was begging God, or whoever was listening, to shut it off. I thought all that power was going to kill me. Not just end my life, but obliterate my soul from existence. I was at Ground Zero of a 200-megaton spiritual explosion. Finally, after what seemed like centuries, the energy began to ebb and I could sit up without feeling like a mountain was resting on me.

I must have looked like a damn fool, rolling around on the ground and bowing, but there wasn’t a soul in sight. My right shoulder was hurting me something fierce, and I touched it, my fingers brushing up against something soft. I looked down.

There was a feather sitting on my shoulder. I remember that it was white and about 10 inches long. Sort of rectangular and maybe three inches across. And I thought for one crazy moment that it was a real, honest-to-God angel feather. I reached up slowly and took the feather in my fingers and lifted it, or tried to. The feather was heavy. Really heavy. I couldn’t budge it. I got to my feet, and the feather stayed stuck to my shoulder.

Using my entire left arm, I pushed the feather off. It was like trying to move a train. When it finally came off, instead of floating down gently, like feathers are wont to do, it plummeted to the ground and hit the sidewalk with the sound that icebergs must make when they drag themselves across a continent, only all at once. I swear, the horizon wobbled a little.

When I realized that it was all over, I got the hell out of there. I must confess I ran all the way home like a schoolboy. Played sick, too, and stayed in my room. No one got too excited, seeing as how I’m the boss.

Three days later, my life was getting back to normal. I had chalked my experience up to some kind of sleepwalking nightmare. I was in my car, sitting at a red light, not thinking of anything at all, when I happened to glance over at the car to my left. It was sort of like a police car, but it was painted completely black. Everything was black, down to the hubcaps. Even the windows were black. While I was staring at the car, the passenger side window rolled down, and a man sat there in profile. He was wearing a black suit and sunglasses. Then, the driver leaned forward, and I saw that he was dressed the same way. I was wondering just how in the hell these two could drive, what with the dark windshield and the sunglasses. That’s when both of them turned at the same time and looked at me.

Well, I confess, I freaked out a little. I punched the gas pedal and blasted through the intersection, just missing a girl on a moped. I drove in a panic for several blocks until rationality set in. They weren’t after me, I reasoned. I hadn’t done anything wrong. I kept checking the mirror, but didn’t see them following me. I finally slowed down, let out a deep breath and was chuckling at my paranoia, when I looked out the windshield and saw that same car, parked across the lane, blocking my progress. I hit the brakes and twisted the wheel as hard as I could, and came to a stop only inches from the mysterious automobile. My door was right next to the other car’s door. I killed the engine and just sat there, looking at that dark window.

Again, the window rolled down. This time, I rolled mine down too.

The man was in his thirties. He had a long face and short hair. His partner’s face was rounder. They were both wearing fedoras, and there was something very familiar about their faces. It took me a few moments to place them. When I did, I was sure I was either losing my mind or someone was playing a trick on me.

Look, I know how this sounds. This is the stupidest part of the story, but God as my witness, this really happened. The two fellows in the car looked exactly like the Blues Brothers. You’re probably too young to remember that movie, but go look it up.

The one with the long face, his expression was completely flat, and he asked me:

“Where is it?”

“Uh, where’s what?” I said.

“The feather.”

“Oh, that. Look. I was just walking, and it fell out of the sky-“

“What did you do with it?” His voice was as flat as his face.

“I left it on the ground.”

The man with the long face-what the heck, I might as well call him Elwood-furrowed his brow and frowned. He said, “You did what?” His tone was one of hurt incredulity, as if I had just said, “The Mona Lisa? Oh, I burned that crap.”

“Look, it’s probably still there. It’s pretty heavy.”

“You will take us there, now.”

“Are you guys with the government or something? Can I see some ID?

Elwood and Jake lowered their sunglasses. Elwood’s eyes were red and orange, like the heart of a volcano. No pupils or irises, just that glowing fire. Jake’s eyes were bluish-white, like a field of Antarctic ice.

Well, I just about crapped my pants then and there, but I held it together. (continued)

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(Part 2)

Jake and Elwood put their shades back on, the window rolled up, and with shaking hands, I started my car.

A few minutes later, we stood in a small circle around the feather. It hadn’t moved an inch. It had rained the previous night, but the feather was dry.

Elwood picked the feather up without effort and gently put it inside a silver box that he had been carrying. He turned to me.

“Ra the Eternal thanks you for your service.”

“What the devil is going on?” I asked him.

“None of this has happened,” Jake said. “Go back to your bookstore.”

“Look, I think I deserve some answers,” I started, but Jake and Elwood were already headed back to their car.

“Shouldn’t I receive some kind of reward? Or compensation? You know, my shoulder still hurts from where that thing hit me.” I was babbling now. Shut up, shut up, my brain told my mouth. They’re demons and they will kill you.

Elwood stiffened and turned around. Jake did too.

Oh man, here it comes.

Both of their mouths were open. I waited for a plague of flies to swarm out.

“Did you say it touched your shoulder?” Elwood said.

“Touched it? It was stuck there. Look.” I pulled my shirt down and showed him a bruise that was slowly turning purple and black.

Elwood and Jake looked at each other and both immediately dropped to one knee and bowed their heads. They took their fedoras off.

“Forgive us,” Jake said.

“For what?” I asked.

“You have been chosen. Chosen by Ma’at the Just. You must come with us.”

Up until a certain point, I thought that everything that I was going through could have been a hoax. Somebody found two guys that looked like those actors and gave them some novelty contacts and a used police car. The feather had a metal core and there was a big magnet somewhere nearby. And all that waves of power stuff was a drug that someone had slipped me. Even though none of that made any sense, it was still more desirable than believing the alternatives - that either I was stark raving mad, or that two supernatural entities were escorting me to meet someone called Ma’ at the Just.

So that’s how I found myself in the back seat of what looked for all the world like a police car. It even had one of those metal grilles in between the front and the back seats. You work your whole life to stay out cars with cages in them and yet, there I was. We drove for a while before stopping in front of a seedy motel. “Seedy” is being generous. It was downright sleazy; the kind of place where you can rent rooms by the hour. The name of it was “Farmer’s Daughter Motel,” which showed either a perverse optimism or a sick sense of irony. I must confess that I wasn’t sure what was going to happen next.

“Who is this ‘Ra,’ exactly?” I asked the two beings I had come to mentally refer to as Jake and Elwood.

Jake turned to me. “Ra is the creator of all that is. And Ma’at is the judge of all men.”

“And what do they want with me?”

“The end of this age draws near; the time to judge the gods is at hand.”

“Look, I’m not a religious man,” I began, and it was true. At the time, I wasn’t.

“When a god is to be judged,” Elwood said, “Ma’at requires a mortal, who is drawn at random. This is to ensure fairness.”

“Pardon my saying so, but this is some pretty heavy stuff you’re laying down on me, and it all sounds like bull crap. We’re meeting some gods at a hooker motel and you want me to participate in some kind of cosmic jury duty? No thanks. I’ll walk home.”

“The call of Ma’at cannot be denied,” Jake said.

“Sure it can. I’m denying it right now.”

“You have doubts and fears,” Elwood said. “That is an expected response. Yes, we are going to an inn of ill repute. But we need to have a safe place to store your vessel while you are in the realm of the gods.”

“’Store my vessel.’ You mean, where you’re going to stash my body.” I grabbed at the door handle, but the door was locked. My fingers scrabbled to find the release, but of course, there wasn’t one. Panic was pounding me in the gut. I had fallen in with insane serial killers and they were going to make musical instruments out of my organs.

“You’re not going to die,” said Jake. ‘Well, yes, you’re going to die, but not tonight. Musical instruments out of your organs…” he chuckled.

Did he just read my mind?

“Yes, I did.”

I sat back, stunned. Somehow this was more disconcerting than the thought of being dismembered.

We checked in, the guy at the front desk giving us a knowing, toothless leer. I wanted to explain to him that it wasn’t what it looked like, but he probably heard that a lot. The room was worse than I expected. Roaches wouldn’t live there. Junkies would be reluctant to shoot up in a room this sad. At ten dollars an hour, it was insanely overpriced. The carpet was gray and covered with stains, some of which looked to be blood. The mattress was the same, but it was definitely blood. The curtains were pee-yellow, the chair was barf green, and the weather-beaten desk was clearly made by someone nailing scrap lumber together in the dark. The walls were the fake wood paneling you see in adult films shot in trailer houses, and the whole thing smelled like animals had died in it.

“Make yourself comfortable,” Elwood said, and I laughed.

“We will take you to the place of the gods now. There are many paths to choose from. I give you my word that you will not be harmed, and so, death is not an option.”

“Well, I’m relieved,” I said, looking at the cracked mirror and toilet with the seat askew and cigarette burns on it.

“There is a narcotic we can use, or we can guide you on a spirit walk. If you have any experience with chanting or meditation, that will help.”

“No, no, no and no,” I said.

“There is another option,” Jake said. “We can stimulate certain areas of your brain with electricity. This will allow you to make the journey.”

“You’re gonna fry my brain until I start having hallucinations, is that it?”

“For thousands of years, mystics have been attempting to access the spirit world by a variety of means. They have understood that the mind is a gateway, while the brain is a barrier. By using physical means, we can force the brain to act together with the mind. Have you ever heard of other dimensions?”

“Sure I have.”

“Well, they’re real. There are at least 23 of them.”

“So where are they?”

“They’re all right here. Their atoms are functioning at different levels of vibration. To you, they are energy. Slow them down, or rather, allow your mind to ‘change channels,’ and you will perceive them as solid.”

“You will be completely safe,” Jake continued, ‘And more than adequately compensated for your troubles.”

This was not a good idea. Even if these beings were completely truthful with me, what did I know about judging a god? What were the criteria? What made me fit to carry out such a task? Every insecurity I had rushed in all at once and I felt sick.

Jake and Elwood sat me down in one of the chairs and started hooking up wires connected to little suction cups on my head.

“It’s good that you’re bald,” Elwood said. “It makes the conduction easier for when we fry your brain.”

I looked up, startled, and Elwood was giving me a terrible impression of a smile. I relaxed –a little.

“Just one thing I want to know,” I started.

“Good night,” Elwood said and everything went dark.

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Loved it!! S&F

Very good! I wish the story would have continued! S&F