Need Advice With Awkward Social Situation

I want to send a text to a family friend because it is her birthday. I want to wish her a happy birthday but a mutual friend that she is very close to is in a hospice with lung cancer and I don't know if she would take it as an insult or something if I use the word happy.

I'm really rubbish with this sort of thing and knowing the right thing to say. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you in advance.

reply to post by Tsu322


I can see you situation.

But wishing Happy Birthday does not take away anything it might even make them feel like they are appreciated... just add follow up words like "Hope you get better" at the end.

As long as you don't say "Happy Birthday, Enjoy" Or "hope you have a good one" < these are not appropriate.

reply to post by Tsu322


It would probably make her smile! And in all honesty, saying Happy Birthday to someone is no big deal!!! Go for it! Text Away!

All you have to do is let her know you are thinking of her and wishing her all the best on the occasion of her birthday.

Keep it simple, personable and sincere.

Tsu322
I want to send a text to a family friend because it is her birthday. I want to wish her a happy birthday but a mutual friend that she is very close to is in a hospice with lung cancer and I don't know if she would take it as an insult or something if I use the word happy.

I'm really rubbish with this sort of thing and knowing the right thing to say. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you in advance.

Unless your mutual friend is dying from a cancer that was caused by inhaling birthday cake candles, there should be no reason for a birthday wish to offend somebody close to the person dying. It all depends on how she views the passing of your friend. Some have a hard time getting a healthy perspective and view it as an ultimate end so there is no comfort to be had but even they could use a reminder from time to time.

I would call her instead of texting. If she's offended then it's probably something she needed to hear right then.

reply to post by Tsu322


I'd wish her a happy birthday, since it is her special day, and it would make her feel better, to know you remembered, and in the same text you could also mention how you are keeping your mutual friend in your prayers, or if you aren't religious, you could say how you are keeping him/her in your thoughts.

Hope this helps.

Thank you guys that was really helpful and appreciated.

Wright Wing, I went with your idea with five kisses at the end.

I really do wish life were easier to navigate!

reply to post by Cuervo


I agree that the OP should phone instead of texting and just say that you want to give your best wishes on her birtday. Who knows, maybe the best present you could give would be to chat with her/him a little while.