The Cat With The Gat Came Back: A 2nd Amendment Story

Evening,

I was participating in a thread by a member here called "thisguyrighthere".
His thread is called:

"Registration DOES NOT lead to confiscation"

It's a good thread...y'should check it out.
Anyways, I made a flippant remark about my post sounding more like it came from a Dr Seuss book than a regular comment. It got me to thinking (which lead to my second post) in which I joked about wondering how a children's book called The Cat With The Gat would fare as a post-modern cautionary tale. Then I made the mistake last night of drinking...heavily.
So, you can imagine my suprise when I awoke to find THIS on my desktop.
A tongue-in-cheek version of the 2nd Amendment debacle that New Yorkers currently face called a Form 4473. It's the beta test of the gun confiscation that anyone with half a brain knew was coming.
Well...being hungover, I posted it to thisguy's thread but after sobering up felt it deserved it's own thread.
(Probably because I'm still drunk!)
If you are pro-2nd and ever liked a Dr Seuss book, then I imagine you'll get a giggle from it.
If not...you'll probably hate it.
So, without further adieu, I present for your utter rejection...

The Cat With The Gat Came Back:

As I rose from comfy bed with slumber foremost in my head...then prepared to start day and go about my merry way.
I walked my dog and fed my fish...then finished breakfast and washed the dish.
Tossing newspaper aside I lay some down for dog to find...or I would return from work and find a stinky pile of dirt.
Then out the door to see what life had held in store for me...I buttoned my jacket to keep me warm, there's one last ritual left to perform.

But when I went to check my mail, something there made me turn pale...I staggered back into to house and sat there quiet as a mouse.

A piece of paper had found me that stripped me of security...for it would seem my Uncle Sam had put me in a nasty jam.
4473 was it's name and to my eternal shame...it made a "request" of me that I was to be disarmed you see.
It looked official and said to me to give up arms of certain degree...but there's no way this could be true, to not allow a .22?
I was overcome with fright, what on Earth gives them the right...to dictate unto me what I do with my liberty?

Then was a knock upon my door, followed by a dozen more...it gave me a dreadful scare, I thought the government was there.
But to my suprise through swollen teary eyes...did I look down to see a feline looking back at me.
I am no stranger to this fellow, I only hope he is more mellow...and hope he would not act a louse as last time he destroyed my house.

Sam, why do you look so sad...I've just arrived, you should be glad?
Invite me inside your home...it's kinda cold out here you know?
I will pull out all the stops...it'll be just like before, except maybe less cops.

This is not a good time I fear...something dreadful now draws near.
NYC will take my rifle...and my rights that they will stifle.
A Constitutional violation...of freedoms founded in this nation.
I don't want 4473 in hand...I do not want one Sam I am.

The Cat raised his eyebrows to me...and cocked his head ever so slightly.
And looked at me with deep regret and said words I shall not forget...

"Are you @#$%^&* kidding me!?"

The Cat was not at all impressed...by my apparent distress.
He barged right through my front door...and began to set up on the floor.

The biggest d@mn gun I ever saw in my whole life.

I stared at first and shook my head...my mind began to fill with dread.
Whatever would I do now...I can not break my solumn vow.
To obey the law at all cost...so that all shall not be lost.
Sam would love to stop the Cat but now he has this Giant Gat.

Cat assures Sam that he can hack it...then throws him some Full Metal Jacket.
Then off the pair do go...in the frozen winter snow.
If NYPD saw what they brought...Sam knew they'd both be shot.
But the Cat thought Sam was being bold...shivering just because it's cold.

To Cityhall the Cat did trek...And Sam was now a nervous wreck.
This crazy cat will get me dead...a double tap to my forehead.
But then to my suprise came a tall man with blue eyes.
The Cat swiped the form from Sam's hand...threw it in disgust at the man and demanded:

"What is the meaning of this!?"

You must accept, you have no choice...you're just a citizen, you have no voice.
We did it when you weren't paying attention...distracted by indefinite detention.
You think this is over? It's only begun...and you're powerless to stop us without any guns.
Everbody was warned, Nobody listened...and this is the result, exactly as predicted.

The-Cat-just-lost-it.

How dare you say these things to me...I can't be pushed around you see.
It's called the 2nd Amendment...not relinquished without incident.
Your statutes have a flaw...they must be found against the law.
Personal freedom at all cost...or all we cherish will be lost.

The Cat is now serving the first of five consecutive back-to-back life sentences with no chance of parole.

Sam is now a big disgrace...now in the NSA's database.
Things will never be the same...if only he'd not played this game.
But things did not turn out as planned...when citizens stood across the land.
They realized that Sam was right...and took up his historic plight.

They rallied all on one demand...all to help a single man.
Who had helped showed them the way...with a cat who came to play.
They marched into the Congress bold...and this is what they were told:

The citizen's right to keep arms, shall not be infringed...to any who would thwart this right, tis now your time to cringe.
The politicians tried their best to disarm the people true...but in the end had realized there's nothing else to do.
A triumphant shout rose from the crowd so loud it rocked the hall...DeBlasio would concede the fight or get kicked out next fall.

If there's a lesson to be taken from this aweful mess...it's to air all grievances in hope of just redress.
Always know the difference between a privalege and a right...or you find both stolen from you, taken in the night.
Should you ignore this sound advice and try a different plan...you too may wake up one day to find you're just like Sam.
And once you're caught up in this mess with nothing else to do...I'll go down to post his bail and send my cat to you!

-Happy (belated) Thanksgiving-

(P.S.: I hope I posted this to the right forum)