Parents Finally Give In And Buy Him A Playstation

A Playstation 1! Complete with Crash Bandicoot, THPS 2 and Spyro The Dragon! I would have asked, where is Metal Gear Solid?

Gotta love the onion. Even though it's probably not true I just had to share this story, so hilarious. I mean can you Imagine? The Story says Daniel Gionda is a thirty-three year old digital marketing analyst.

His parents say:

“It has some violent games I still don’t approve of, but I know it’s something Daniel really wanted, so we finally figured, ‘Why not?’”

They apparently bought him the Dual Shock bundle pack that comes with a whopping one megabyte memory card and the games mentioned above. Oh! they also got him an extra controller so that he can play with his friends! How thoughtful.

Daniel asked for the console in 1994, according to the onion. And although his folks bought him the Playstation after so many years of patience on Daniel's part, they still inexplicably refuse to purchase him a copy of "Countdown to Extinction" by Megadeth.

Sadface, Daniel, Sadface.

What would you do in Daniels's shoes?

"Oh, hey thanks mom and dad, for getting me that playstation I asked for ALMOST TWENTY YEARS AGO!"

This has got to be one of the most epic trolls in history.

Link to the original Onion story:

www.theonion.com...

I love the onion. Reminds me of when I was 19 my grandmother gave me a wcw toy set complete with wrestling ring for Christmas.

I played with it in her living room in front of everyone until she left... To this day I don't know if she was senile or trolling me.

overratedpatriotism
I love the onion. Reminds me of when I was 19 my grandmother gave me a wcw toy set complete with wrestling ring for Christmas.

I played with it in her living room in front of everyone until she left... To this day I don't know if she was senile or trolling me.

That is hilarious.

I can just imagine this 19 year old dude body slamming sting into goldberg while they family looks on. Probably trolling you.

reply to post by CagliostroTheGreat


You do know The Onion is a satire, right? Very funny article, as usual for that paper.

Sestias
reply to post by CagliostroTheGreat

 

You do know The Onion is a satire, right? Very funny article, as usual for that paper.

Yes.



This isn't my first time on the internet.



I stated in my OP that it was from the onion and therefore probably not true. I found it entertaining enough to share however and here we are.

I'll tell you guys a funny story about me first disovering the damn onion

I was 15 years old back in highschool in 2002, and was in the Walgreens store in the morning a block away from school stocking up on my daily junkfood stash for the day.

I have never heard of the onion, didn't know about it, didn't know they made satire newspapers at all, just didn't know. Saw this newspaper and thought it was a friggin newspaper.

I see a front page story on the paper rack about NASA building a giant planet sized fan to positioning it in space to cool the earth down because global warming.

I lose my sh*t and gran the paper. I ask myself "HOW THE MOTHERF**K ARE THEY GOING TO DO THIS?!!? WHAT ABOUT THE SUN!?!?" I am simultaneously wondering why this is not on the news, and how we will live looking up into the sky, but instead of the sky, there is a fan. The sky is the fan. No clear, blue, graceful air, no sunshine, as far as your eyes can see, just a blade spinning behind those industrial looking grill protectors so your hands don't get hit by the blades when handling the fan while spinning.as far as your eyes can see, and a loud, deafening, whooing sound that those fans make, only X1,000,000 louder, heard all over the world, whether you like it or not. It goes on to say that NASA has this giant fan built already, and is trying to figure out the best way to suspend this fan over the earth's atmosphere. It said that if things go as planned, and they can come to general consensus on what method to use for perpetual suspension of the planet fan, it can will be ready for implementation by late 2003. We spoke of how the earth was warming up at an alarming rate in science class, and was reviewed in the textbook, so this was all to real to me. They even showed a graphic of one of those square shaped industrial looking fans positioned over the earth, and the air flow of the fans wind current represented by blue arrows angling in curves upwards and around the earth. That sealed it for me within that short amount of time.

I felt this sick, sinking, feeling in my stomach, followed by deep fear and depression at the thought of this. Visions of a grey, post apocalyptic world with everyone depressed, and everyone forming factions that fight for land with sunlight so they could be happy, if just for a day, before a more meaner faction came and blew them away dead for the sunlight. Luckily, all these thoughts only lasted for about 7 seconds when my eyes look over the whole front page and see other articles like alien cyborgs makes contact, demands human cake for planetary survival, and President Bush to sign emergency twinky resupply act. Or something wacky like that of the sort. I then say "Wait, Hold up...oh."

I left the store laughing to myself how i almost got worked up into immediate fear and depression of having the sky become a fan, and then i make the mistake of telling my teachers and friends about my blunder, resulting in everyone laughing at me or shaking their heads in amazement or disbelief. Apparently i was the only one who never heard of the onion at the time, i guess.

No bullsh*t, no embellishment. True story. The onion momentarily scared the crap out of me.

reply to post by bigman88


HAHAAAA...

Love it man thanks for sharing.

CagliostroTheGreat
I found it entertaining enough to share however and here we are.

Pretty entertaining all right.
Thanks for sharing!

I tried to find a playstation 1 and they are becoming increasingly rare. Especially a new one out of the box.

There's one specific game I want to play but couldn't find the system gave up on it.

I suppose I could hit up craigslist or something for a used one.

Considering how the Ps4 is currently in serious trouble though, maybe people will start playing their own systems.