Curiosity did not kill this cat....[Nov2013]

A day in the life of...my cat.
(In English of course and from his mischievous mind)

*YAWWWWN* I am not moving! There are birds afoot! What's that? A plant in the way? NO! I will just knock it off MY windowsill. Oh did you like those plants on this windowsill? This is MY windowsill! I'll have nothing of the sort blocking my view of the birds in the front yard! Just who do you think you a.....wait don't pick me up! What are you doing? PUT ME DOWN! Hey, wait I like that....ohhhh that feels good, yes! Keep scratching right there at the base of my tail...keep going....keep go...OK ENOUGH! I'm done with this.

You see, like most cats, my cat is a finicky cat and I am going to give you the point of view I see on a daily basis and how I would imagine he thinks. If he could think in our language. By the way, he's a scaredy-cat and I am a dog lover. Not so much cats...mind you this will seem like I am mean to him but, dear reader, you must understand what a clever cat this one is!

Hey wake up! It's 5am! Helllllllloooooo! I am hungry! Ok fine, you want to be that way, I will climb this here dresser and knock off all these little trinkets until you awake. That should do the trick! Here goes...just let me climb up here...now where is that little bottle? Ok you like that? Now I will push it to the floor. HA! Oh. It wasn't enough, ok then what is this? A small business card? Nah. It's trash on the ground now! GET UP! Still nothing huh? Ok then I will push this set of keys off the dresser...and there! Now to jump down and start chewing on the paper until he hears me and wakes up to get me FOOD!

Woah why is it so bright in here? I can't see anything and wait....good news he is awake and moving towards me. Oh no he's yelling something about being a no-good, rotten piece of cat trash that is too spoiled for my own...Hey just who do you think you are buddy?! I am hungry! You must feed me! Here he goes into the kitchen so I will follow and I hear the food container opening. Presto! Food in my bowl! Heh...works every time! Idiot human! Meow, meow, meow.

Now that I am full, let's see if I can watch what he is doing today. Nah, I'll just lay here on top his lunch bucket because it looks like a great place to sleep. Wait, what's that? Oh you need this thing for work? To bad! It's mine right now you can have it later. Don't yell at me to move! Here take that claw to your hand! SWIP! Yeah how you like that? Oh no don't pick me up again...wait I like this...oh here we go again...yesssss purrrrr purrrr purrrrrrrr....Ok! Enough. I want down! I'm off to explore the wonderful world that is this house. Oh, you leaving for a while? Great! Time for a nap!

A few hours pass...and I can only imagine what happens when I am not there...so the story will continue from the time I return.

*YAWWWWWN*
Welp. He's back. Has no idea what I've been through with that ferocious other big furry thing that barks so loud. She likes to bite my neck and chase me 'round the house. Jerk! Oh well time to get fed because I am famished! All that sleep made me hungry. So I will jump on the counter to see what he is doing. HEY! Where's my food? Let me rub my head on your hand and purr....Oh you don't want to feed me yet? Great! I'm off to go climb these curtains with my nails, that you just so happened to trim the other day, and let's see if that gets your attention! Ok here we go and....up! I can do this, I must climb further this time...oh no I am losing grip! Must...try....to....get....a better grip! Ok great now I am stuck here in the middle of this curtain and wait...here he comes! Hurray! Oh no he's yelling again and NO! What was that! HEY! OWWW! Quit squirting me! I hate water! Hey HEY! Ok ok ok I will jump down. Did you feed me? Let me check...back to the kitchen...and Yep! Food again! Awesome. purrrr....purrrr.

Boy I am tired! All this action makes a cat lazy and wanting a nap. So I believe I will find a good place, away from that other creature, and tuck away for a nap. This t-shirt he laid down on the bed looks like a great place! Let me jump up there...and I'm up! Ok I need to walk in a few circles on it to make sure it is exactly where I want to sleep and....okay. I am laying down. Snug as a bug in a rug. So comfortable....and I'm asleep.... OUCH! WHAT? Oh now you want your shirt! I was sleeping there! Fine then, don't say I didn't keep it warm for you! I'm going to go somewhere else and sleep! Jerk!

As the story continues, the days remain the same. This is the daily life of my cat, save a few instances where he may jump on the refrigerator or bat at the window and chase a fly. As you can probably tell, he is a typical cat, always wanting attention but only just enough to make him happy, then he leaves to do his thing again. I leave you with one last thought of his...the ever elusive red dot.

Hmm. I am just going to sit in his lap for a second and get warm...and ohhhh that feels good....yes there, right on the top of the butt, NO don't move...oh you want to pet me on my belly? NOPE! How about I just bite your hand! I'm jsut hppy wjth yoru hnad in my muoth! Ha! Don't pet me there, and I won't bite you! Back, to the rear....yesss....purrr purrr...ok I'm done with this! Hey, where is he going? To the bedroom? What is that familiar sound? It sounds like he is getting out....THE DOT! Oh oh oh! I must run to the bedroom because favorite chase is about to begin! Yup! There it is...I see it....it isn't moving, maybe I can catch it today! And I'll JUMP to the bed to catch....wait where did it go? There! Pounce! Got it! Wait...no THERE! Pounce! Got it this time! Nope. Wait....THERE! Ha! I got it....no...wait THERE! YUP! Got it....hey wait....nope. Aha! THERE! Nope. Where is it? THERE! I GOT IT! No....wait I don't see it...hey you! I'll just rub my head on your hand...did you see the red dot? Purrrr purrr.

The end...or is it?

Amusing and interesting. You have captured the essence of a cat's life!

SnF!

reply to post by havok


No one owns a cat they basically own us. They simply allow us to wait on them and tolerate our demands for companionship. Good job!

reply to post by havok


Ha ha ha,

Yup that's a cat for ya. Great job!

The Rat.

As a co-habitator of a house with two cats -- one of them a reformed feral cat -- I really enjoyed your story.

The best way to get a cat inside is to close the door with it outside. It just is.