My life is gone....

SAP, you are on "my team". While that may mean little to you, it means something to me. Hell, i even aspire to have cool yellow glasses like you.

What Boncho says is the best thing. Ditch that "i did nothing wrong" viewpoint. You obviously did do something wrong, at least insofar as maintaining that particular relationship. I mean, an 8 year engagement is an awful long time. And like Beyonce says....


But not knowing your former mate, there is little that can be said to give you insight. Look over it all and do some soul searching. This is where you get the opportunity to be introspective, identify things that you want to change about yourself, and then move forward by making those changes.

Consider that neither you nor her are the same person you were 8 years ago.

I had a huge heartache in my youth. Today i am laying next to a wife of 20 years. I got knocked down, and got back up again. You will do the same. Between now and then, figure out what may have happened, and work on preventing it next time.

You're a good guy. You aren't hideous to look at. You will do fine. Besides, fishing is often more fun than cooking the fish (if you know what i mean).

reply to post by sulaw

HA! Thanks so much for that! 'Brightened my day...

I was though honestly trying to help because I was there once too. Missed all the signs for a very long time. Then was devastated when it happened. Never again.

Life and love is not supposed to be "his way-this way" and "her way -that way"....it should be "our way'....

reply to post by SloAnPainful


Does this have anything to do with when she was out of town for a bit not too terribly long ago? I remember how much you missed her then...

Please accept this great big motherly ((((HUG))))!
I know it doesn't feel like it right now but you will eventually start to feel better and begin the journey of rebuilding your life. They say to take things one day at a time but I think in this case maybe taking it one moment at a time would probably be more plausible.....just breathe man.

reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan


Haha. Thanks Texan.

-SAP-

I've been there before (not quite so drastic as yours) but to have a woman reject you seemingly out of nowhere. That's what it seemed like at the time. It was only my ignorance speaking.
Later I would learn there was a reason, it was another guy. My ego wouldn't allow me to consider that at the time which is probably why I lost her in the first place.
She has her reasons and that's enough. Why do you feel the need to torture yourself? You had a good relationship and it lasted 8 years - pretty good for this day and age. She left willingly but you hang on like some lost puppy. Time to man up my friend! Let her go and be free again. Open up to new relationships and experiences.
Your ex did you a favor - now neither of you are stuck in a relationship she knew she wouldn't be happy in. All you have to do is look after your own heart like she was looking after hers.
You gave your heart to her, that is obvious. She gave it back.
The cross you bear is of your own choosing.
Carry it as long as you feel it necessary to .
The quickest cure for you is to meet new women.