New Song of Mine.

So I'm not sure how many of you are into rap or hip hop or anything. I don't say swag and don't mention bitches or drinking, and all of the usual yabber.
I just want to get some opinions on this and see what people on here think. I'm not one to normally post this sort of thing on ATS, so it will be fun to see.

The youtube link is here: www.youtube.com...

I've been making music for a few years now, but have taken a pretty long hiatus... It's been eight months since I last recorded a song until today. Please leave some criticism or advice or anything at all if you can

reply to post by lifemonkey


I checked your recording on youtube. I'm not into rap, so even if we agreed on everything I won't hear it in your music. I'm not criticizing because I'm not qualified. However, I am saying I don't think I'm in your demographics. Best of luck to you!

I noticed one thing about your material, you focus a lot on your lyrical content. I think you have a good idea of writing, now you need to focus on developing proper flow. I know too many people that rap and focus their time on their lyrics and don't properly organize their bars to fit the beat. In your case you need to use filler words, 2, 3, 4 letter words that make your bars sound on point and in sync with the beat. Words like: it, is, all, just, like, this, that. Once you get that down pat and incorporate that into your bars you'll feel more comfortable reciting your lyrics, balancing out your breathing points, and you're just gonna sound 10 times better because you won't have to extend any other words to fill in the bar, that just makes you sound off.

You have that AOTP style, if you don't know who they are you should check them out and study them if you'd like. Your material is good you just have to work on those few things. With time you'll get better, just stay dedicated to it. I myself still have a lot of work to put in, and it's also been months since I've finished a song. I have a great little personal studio, but I've been focusing my time on learning to produce rather than writing and rapping. It would be great to get a little community of rappers together on here and we can possibly motivate each other, give tips, etc. I could personally use that as I've slacked too much.

AOTP: