The Burger King "Satisfries" conspiracy

Without commenting about my poor food choices, I would like to state that I am, ahem, a semi-frequent customer of the fast-food chain Burger King.

They have a new french fry product called Satisfries. The advertising states they have "40% less fat, 30% less calories, and big taste..." That last claim, in my opinion, is quite the stretch but that's not the point.

From their website:
Satisfries

Here's the problem. Every single order I've placed with regular french fries has had 2-3 of these so-called satisfries in them. ALWAYS at the bottom, almost as though they were placed inside the fry container before the "normal" fries were scooped up.

At first I was quite pleased with being able to sample the new fries without actually having to pay cold hard cash for these tasteless monstrosities. Then as they continued to be placed in my orders I began to wonder.

Why every single time? Why always at the bottom like they were purposefully placed there?

Now, in full disclosure I worked at a Burger King when I was in college, and there is a divider in the fry warmer in which you can segregate these fried products. Fries/Onion rings/Satisfries/etc... SO why are they always included???

I have no problem with free samples, so long as they are put forth as such, but this is simply behavior modification at the lowest level.

Imagine you have a product that you know is harmful, your customers know it's harmful, and it's obvious that if you changed it you'd lose business. But you'll also eventually lose business as the health-conscious movement grows. What to do?

Simple.

Force your customers to change their purchasing habits. Give them something else, for free. Play on their guilt for eating their "bad" fries, and watch as the sheep swallow up what you give them as an alternative.

Some may question why I'd eat at a place where I worked and know the dirty secrets, but that's a testament to the general quality of their products. (BK, please don't sue me!) However, from my strange experiences I began to wonder if there isn't something more going on here.

Think about it through the prism of public healthcare. Think about future profits and those in control.

The true conspiracy is, as you alluded to, Burger King claiming those new crinkle-cut things are tasty. When I tried the couple that somehow made it into my onion rings it tasted like warmed up wood pulp. (I really miss that puking icon now...)

I know, don't go to BK expecting gourmet food, but c'mon...I'm a fat man and I have to work to keep this figure.

reply to post by Operations


Wait! You are actually trying to state why fast food is healthy OR NOT????

I saw your initial statement where you pretty much admitted fast food is bad. So my question is why are you trying to make one of their products better than the other?

OR are you just trying to show how easy it is to manipulate people into eating something that is advertised as being healthy when in fact "deep down" we know that it is not?

sadly, the last couple of times I've been there I've forgotten about trying the new fries and just order a number combo meal, and never got a free sample. I suppose it is now a blessing since they are reportedly tasteless. But still, I want my free sample too! If I recall, last week was free crinkle fry day with no other purchase necessary. Again forgotten until just now. Getting old

I'm obviously not the OP, but I think he was saying that BK is trying to subtly get us to switch to their "healthier" fries via subterfuge and public shaming. Thus, when they, (BK), eventually have to pull the "original" fries that they're now spiking with 2-3 of the new fries due to health conscious concerns we'll already be somewhat acclimated to the horrific flavor and their revenue loss will be minimized.

reply to post by shadow watcher


Ha...one taste and you'll regret it!

reply to post by BobM88

all right, Ill grant you the fry conspiracy, ive had it happen to me too, seems questionable to me...

But if you want to talk criminal intent, try their damn Soda machine, its digital with flavor choices... Vanilla sprite is evil, it taste like the nectar of the gods that is Frutty Pebble cereal run off milk...

I don't trust anyone that could come up with such a devious device in their restaurants.

reply to post by Operations


Hey good thinking. Very clever.

I enjoy reading your writing thanks.

Does anyone know if these are healthier than the "actual potatoes" I assumed we were eating already?

Just because a company claims its healthy well Id be a fool to trust marketing professionals while they are on the clock.

burger king is try to bribe you brah

reply to post by breadinspector


"Pssssst....hey kid! Here, over here!....want some free fries?"

If they switch to only crinkle I assure you there will be a huge revenue drop. It'll be this decade's new coke.
If need be, I could get by on onion rings.

BobM88
I'm obviously not the OP, but I think he was saying that BK is trying to subtly get us to switch to their "healthier" fries via subterfuge and public shaming. Thus, when they, (BK), eventually have to pull the "original" fries that they're now spiking with 2-3 of the new fries due to health conscious concerns we'll already be somewhat acclimated to the horrific flavor and their revenue loss will be minimized.

So much more succinct than my OP. Thanks!

muzzleflash
reply to post by Operations

 

Hey good thinking. Very clever.

I enjoy reading your writing thanks.

Does anyone know if these are healthier than the "actual potatoes" I assumed we were eating already?

Just because a company claims its healthy well Id be a fool to trust marketing professionals while they are on the clock.

According to BK they figured out how to get these new fries to absorb less oil (fat) while frying than the original fries. What black magic is this, I know not?! But they taste like cardboard potatoes.

ETA: Thanks for the kind words, glad you enjoyed my observations. I tried to make it interesting/fun to read. Why not have a little fun with our conspiracies, eh? Even though we're all going to die of obesity or in a FEMA camp...

benrl
all right, Ill grant you the fry conspiracy, ive had it happen to me too, seems questionable to me...

But if you want to talk criminal intent, try their damn Soda machine, its digital with flavor choices... Vanilla sprite is evil, it taste like the nectar of the gods that is Frutty Pebble cereal run off milk...

I don't trust anyone that could come up with such a devious device in their restaurants.

That new soda machine is in several restaurants now. Firehouse Subs is one, if you have one in your area. So many soda choices, it's like when I was young and put every single soda stream from the archaic machines into my cup for a crazy mix. It always tasted bad though...

reply to post by Operations


I could care less about their fries or onion rings....I am just a big fan of their Whopper!!! Yeee-haaauw!!!

shadow watcher
sadly, the last couple of times I've been there I've forgotten about trying the new fries and just order a number combo meal, and never got a free sample. I suppose it is now a blessing since they are reportedly tasteless. But still, I want my free sample too! If I recall, last week was free crinkle fry day with no other purchase necessary. Again forgotten until just now. Getting old

You seem to be the exception. My wife has also had the free sample, the one time she's been to BK in the past 6 months. Just happened to have them.

Oh, but you're not missing anything. Think oven baked grocery store bought frozen fries. That's pretty much the closest approximation.

Skywatcher2011
reply to post by Operations

 

I could care less about their fries or onion rings....I am just a big fan of their Whopper!!! Yeee-haaauw!!!

Ok, sure. Whoppers are great. But at $6-7 for a darn meal?

Try a double-cheeseburger meal, it's not on the menu but they'll do it without any problem. Around $4 for a small combo. Yuuuummmm...

reply to post by Operations

According to BK they figured out how to get these new fries to absorb less oil (fat) while frying than the original fries. What black magic is this, I know not?! But they taste like cardboard potatoes.

This brings me to a different path in this fry conspiracy.

Notice how you said they will absorb less oil? Well that is not really because they are cutting costs or trying to serve healthier choices.

It is I believe possible they are making these new fries purposely blah tasting. They want them to not taste as good as regular classic fries. They want you to "Want" to put more addicting stuff onto it in order to make them taste great again.

You see BK can not make their fries taste better because it would only increase costs and it would create a less healthy meal choice.

So you got the customers on one side, and you got the shareholders and owners on the other .

What to do?

They had the brainstorm Idea, to make a blah fry in order for you to use dip, dressing, condiments or any other yummy addicting feel good sauce.

This way they can technically go out the door healthier and cheaper, yet at the same time know that the customer is going to be adding a whole bunch of yummy goodness on them to make them taste good.

Therefore profits will rise, because customers will make their blah fries really good.

Costs will be lowered by less flavor materials being used for production and preparation.

This concludes my extended BK fries conspiracy theory.