Pending Aggravation

I am curious to understand exactly how to deal with aggravation. It is the thing that can blindside in an argument because even though I may have a correct outline of represented facts it is the simple persistence in creating friction to go against what I am requesting that a person wants to demonstrate in order to show the lack of respect, usually leading to a psychological reaction and sometimes emotional. At first I didn't even know people would be inspired to do that. I wanted to react as if 'a person goes against my requests than I will treat them the same and reflect their actions back like a mirror,' as if I had no better opportunity at the moment. Then it turns into a vicious cycle where they keep on doing things that you ask them not to do, the persistent little things that add up over time. It appears that just because antagonizing someone is a possible aspect of reality there a people willing to do it.

I use Music and when that doesn't work, there's always beer.

reply to post by greyer


Are you talking about everyday life or just dealing with people online?

greyer
I am curious to understand exactly how to deal with aggravation. It is the thing that can blindside in an argument because even though I may have a correct outline of represented facts it is the simple persistence in creating friction to go against what I am requesting that a person wants to demonstrate in order to show the lack of respect, usually leading to a psychological reaction and sometimes emotional. At first I didn't even know people would be inspired to do that. I wanted to react as if 'a person goes against my requests than I will treat them the same and reflect their actions back like a mirror,' as if I had no better opportunity at the moment. Then it turns into a vicious cycle where they keep on doing things that you ask them not to do, the persistent little things that add up over time. It appears that just because antagonizing someone is a possible aspect of reality there a people willing to do it.

I was aggravated with termites for a short bit. I realized at some point though my aggravation wasn't killing the termites...it was killing me. I could still kill the termites without being aggravated about them...which I did...and they are no more.

For me sometimes it seems aggravation and anger are merely a symptom of resistance...resisting the existence of something so heavily I mentally and physically get obsessed with it. Sometimes to the point the original problem wasn't as big of a problem as my attitude towards the problem had become...

Also the idea that the perceived problem will exist/persist forever unless you freak out about it and get angry...oddly enough the epiphany that freaking out and getting angry doesn't help...usually doesn't come till AFTER you freak out and get angry...ironic isn't it lol...

Just one word....



Shadenfreude




That is why there are people who like to antagonize.




- SN

reply to post by DeanWormer


That is entirely true for a short time, if you drink 3 beers the senses start to numb a bit and you feel like you can turn the music up which is always relaxing.

Carreau
reply to post by greyer

 

Are you talking about everyday life or just dealing with people online?

This is something day to day that I just became aware of, I noticed it earlier and thinking they always get away with it.

Say you win an argument with someone, they always can find a way to do something persistently that pushes your buttons (especially if they find something you are bothered by).