I Wish Simon Cowell Would Drink Bleach

reply to post by Painterz


Yes! There's the answer. Turning off the television. But once you see something, you can't unsee it. You can't remove how you feel about it. And how I feel about Simon Cowell, regardless of current circumstance, even if he's not judging American Idol any more, is that what he does is easy compared to what the people who go up and perform in front of him.

I'd like to see Simon Cowell put himself up in front of America, and we could judge his singing. And if the majority of the crowd approves, he does not have to drink the bleach. If he doesn't please the crowd, then they express hatred that'd put 1984's two minute hate to shame, and he has to drink a shot of bleach. How's that for an idea for a show?

Of course, it probably wouldn't last long. For some reason, shows based around people drinking bleach don't get greenlit very often. But sometimes the best television series are the shortest ones.

I am also open to the possibility of other cleaning products he would have to drink to atone for his sins. Maybe wood varnish. But the bleach just has such a symbolism for his dark heart. It could lighten his soul, and bring him around to being a better person. Or it could just eat away at his digestive tract. Either way, good television.

reply to post by Grifter42


wow, you really have a thing for mr. cowell
a kind of pseudo-fruedian homo-erotic s&m kinda vibe going on there, havn'tcha'
aaaah your secret's out

reply to post by SecretKnowledge


Nope. Maybe Chris Hansen. But that's a fraternal love. Like a brother.
You've got me wrong, pal.

Let me tell you a little story.
I once left a thing of chicken out for a day or two. Maybe three or four. Well, it was starting to grow maggots, so I poured enough bleach to cover. I kept that thing outside for nine months, like a baby. Just brewing.

There's the left hand of love, and the right hand of hate, and the bleachdrink ain't horsewhipping some broad at the local house of ill repute to get your jollies.

Some people just ought to drink bleach.

reply to post by Grifter42

I hate that smarmy, cocksure jerk. He always mocks people. So negative. He's not getting up there, and singing.

Hmmm, I was thinking about this just the other day. I hate how people (family, friends) never want to tell their loved ones the hard truth. They let a child believe he/she is talented in ways that they are clearly NOT talented. These poor kids devote a lot of time (sometimes years) to that NON-talent of theirs only to find out by strangers that they aren't good at it.

If American Idol had been around when I was younger I would've WANTED the cold hard truth from Simon Cowell.

Originally posted by Grifter42
reply to post by SecretKnowledge

 

Nope. Maybe Chris Hansen. But that's a fraternal love. Like a brother.
You've got me wrong, pal.

Let me tell you a little story.
I once left a thing of chicken out for a day or two. Maybe three or four. Well, it was starting to grow maggots, so I poured enough bleach to cover. I kept that thing outside for nine months, like a baby. Just brewing.

There's the left hand of love, and the right hand of hate, and the bleachdrink ain't horsewhipping some broad at the local house of ill repute to get your jollies.

Some people just ought to drink bleach.

again, wow!
ever killed an animal?
ever tortured a pet?
im ringing the fbi on you pal. again,

Actually, hold on a minute!
i know whats going on here....
YOU were at an audition in front of mr. cowell. You obviously havn't a note in your head and you heard the words "you sound like a fart coming out wrong mate, all wrong"

reply to post by SecretKnowledge


I'm an actor, not a singer.

I've been denied parts before. I was denied the role of Martin Luther King, based on prejudiced and outdated assumptions of who is fit to play a role but I took it like a man.

I don't need to know a person to hate them. And if you're going to start on me with Hare's list of Sociopathy and Psychopathy symptoms, don't bother. I already know them. We all wear our mask of sanity.

And I love animals. So, while I appreciate your attempt at ad hominem attack, it's coming up pretty short.

So can we get back on topic and discuss the celebrities who need to atone for their crimes against society by willingly drinking bleach? What ever happened to hari-kari? Japan is very trendy, right now. Some of these folks, Paris Hilton, they could regain a lot of my respect by jumping on the band wagon. Hilton could commit seppuku, and... god, what was her name... the girl from that awful T.V. show... The Simple Life. Nicole Ritchie...
Nicole Ritchie could provide the mercy blow, after Hilton has performed the necessary slashes in the stomach for hari-kari.

Would society really be that worse off, if Pauly Shore, Simon Cowell, every MTV host ever, and shills and corporate stooges just atoned for their sins voluntarily? No act of violence against them. I am a non-violent person. I just believe that every man and woman sows his or her own poison.

Originally posted by Grifter42
reply to post by SecretKnowledge

 

And I love animals. So, while I appreciate your attempt at ad hominem attack, it's coming up pretty short.

I don't think you know what ad hominem means.

So can we get back on topic and discuss the celebrities who need to atone for their crimes against society by willingly drinking bleach?

This isn't a topic, it's a rant. So come on now, tell me... this is you, right?

reply to post by Grifter42


Nope, but I've seen that before.

And I've seen the years of William Hung, a huge asian stereotype.

Like an asian minstrel show, and we're all supposed to act like it's in good humor.

Am I just crazy, or is this show as exploitative and evil as it seems?

I miss Miami Vice.

reply to post by Grifter42

Why are you going on like this?
You say you're an actor. So surely you have an idea of how tv works?
i really think you've been turned down by mr. cowell, i really do.
its ok to tell us you have.