Innocence is completely dead

Originally posted by ForbiddenDesire
DestroyerDestroyerDestroyer makes excellent points. Though:

That being said, nobody cares if you have sex or not.

I guess nobody does care. But peers will pressure you, I know from experience.
I wonder why they do that.

I'm a late bloomer because of past bad experiences, trust issues and such.
Lack of attachment to parents. It wouldn't bother me much if my last parent would die.
Etc. It takes some time to heal and I'm going to do it with someone I feel comfortable with.

Some might not understand but your brain connects events with certain chemicals so it's not that easy of just changing your mindset. I have to go to repetition and repetition until I get comfortable with it.

What I'm not going to do is creating a world of amoral and moral. A world where I'm the better one.

On that topic, cheating is natural and serves an evolutionary purpose; we're not monogamous creatures by nature.

I've read that study that says women get bored with monogamous sex. I do think we are monogamous emotionally though, or it's purely nurture.

I think of swans. They stick together forever ("emotionally") but the female and ?male? will look for "pleasure" (reproduction) elsewhere.

I guess it's because of my lack of experience, but I don't understand what's so bad about cheating, only the part that it's secretive. To me sex itself isn't intimate, unless you feel intimidate to the person. Maybe I'm dead wrong, but I don't think I would be bothered with it if my partner would tell me, and if it's only about the act and not about the person.

I find amusement in psychology forums where people get really insecure about their partners opinion on them, because they fear losing them. Yes to me that's not a good thing. I don't think I will ever be such a person, could have been though, but nowadays my well-being is almost exclusively based on myself. Note how almost is underlined, because exclusively based on yourself is very hard and may very well be impossible.

But yeah what do I know?

I don't think he/she made any decent points whatsoever.

But, you're entitled to your opinion. Most of your post seems based on your personal beliefs and experiences, so there's not much to argue with. Peace.

There was a time where the majority had morals. Wives stayed home to keep the house and raise the children. Husbands worked the only job in the house and the house was usually very nice. People could afford the needs of life, children had respect and the world was a better place.

Good for you for holding on to a piece of that.

The reason most of us have lost that near utopian world (when compared to today) is lowering ourselves to devolving norms. In this new world where we are all supposed to accept anyone, regardless of what they do...we have lowered our standards. You can no longer look upon a single mother and say "that is a shame...it shouldn't be that way". You are taught that "that is fine...no problem there". So the norm becomes something that once was not the best situation. In the old days you would say "I'm never going to end up like so-and-so" and you would work toward avoiding that situation. Today, having to be accepting of everyone...you can't say that and don't work to avoid it.

Our standards have been lowered to accept everyone as the norm. We have become the lowest common denominator. But I will say and live this..."that is a shame...it shouldn't be that way".

reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX

Innocence is not completely dead. Nor is it determined by an intact hymen.

Harte

reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX


Destroyer's comment is the only one based in any kind of level of reality so far. You should listen and try to keep a more open mind instead of being defensive and judgmental. That speaks volumes about you as a person.

Originally posted by ItCameFromOuterSpace
reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX

 

Destroyer's comment is the only one based in any kind of level of reality so far. You should listen and try to keep a more open mind instead of being defensive and judgmental. That speaks volumes about you as a person.

That's just your opinion, nothing more.

I believe my OP is based on a lot more reality than Destroyer's lists of "what ifs" because my OP is based on personal experience. I'm defensive about my beliefs, so what? Is that wrong?



I don't think a list of what-ifs and the assumption that I would cop-out of all my beliefs if life gets too hard is factual. And its not.

Yes, it does speak volumes about me as a person.

As does everyone's suggestion that I hand over all my beliefs because they don't fit your cookie-cutter perspective of what you consider ought to be thought of as "realistic" or "open minded."

Not everyone is gonna think the same way as you folks. Especially not me.

Tough.

reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX


Evolutionarily speaking, genetic perseverance takes priority over personal sustenance. You can witness this in pretty much all living creatures, save maybe panda bears. Basically, if you have a lot of sex, leading to the potential production of many offspring, it doesn't matter if you die young; your biological purpose in life has been fulfilled. The reason we desire multiple mates is genetic diversity. Hence why the desire to have multiple partners is natural and thus normal.

Creatures that are monogamous by nature seldom seek new partners; they naturally mate for life. Some will find a new partner should the last one die, others will widow themselves. The creatures that we evolved from, however, were not monogamous; they did not mate for life.

For more on this topic you can check out Sperm Wars by Robin Baker or The Red Queen by Matt Ridley. Both are great books on the topic of human sexuality.

Morality is entirely subjective and often heavily reliant upon social conditioning and cultural upbringing. There is no such thing as right, just as there is no such thing as wrong. Everything simply is. What you believe to be wrong or immoral could be right or morally just to another person. Hell, it could even be a cultural custom. Take eating cows, for example; In India, cows are considered Holy. Here, they are hardly considered.

There is nothing wrong with being a whore or a slut. The reason why women are so f***ed up in contemporary society is because the patriarchal ruling class has, over the last millennium, objectified and ostracized them for being sexual creatures. Because men want to own women, they have shamed them into behaving a certain way. Leave it to the most intelligent animal on this planet to take everything right by nature and make it wrong. Being sexually promiscuous may be taboo, and it may be frowned upon, but that doesn't mean that women can just switch off their libidos and become androgynous, vagina-less drones.

Why I'm defending women's right to be sexual against a woman is beyond me. Perhaps you're hung up on some sexual insecurities, perhaps it's jealousy or a "me against them" mindset. For the record, I'm not trying to cut you down, I'm calling you out on your BS. You can't pass judgement on a bunch of people then turn around and call them judgmental hypocrites. Pot, meet kettle.

reply to post by DestroyDestroyDestroy

Evolutionarily speaking, genetic perseverance takes priority over personal sustenance. You can witness this in pretty much all living creatures, save maybe panda bears. Basically, if you have a lot of sex, leading to the potential production of many offspring, it doesn't matter if you die young; your biological purpose in life has been fulfilled. The reason we desire multiple mates is genetic diversity. Hence why the desire to have multiple partners is natural and thus normal.

Creatures that are monogamous by nature seldom seek new partners; they naturally mate for life. Some will find a new partner should the last one die, others will widow themselves. The creatures that we evolved from, however, were not monogamous; they did not mate for life.

For more on this topic you can check out Sperm Wars by Robin Baker or The Red Queen by Matt Ridley. Both are great books on the topic of human sexuality.

Morality is entirely subjective and often heavily reliant upon social conditioning and cultural upbringing. There is no such thing as right, just as there is no such thing as wrong. Everything simply is. What you believe to be wrong or immoral could be right or morally just to another person. Hell, it could even be a cultural custom. Take eating cows, for example; In India, cows are considered Holy. Here, they are hardly considered.

How do you know what we evolved from?

I get where you're coming from, but I don't buy into the tale that we all popped out of a giant monkey. Therefore, I can't take all evolutionary logic seriously.

There is nothing wrong with being a whore or a slut.

Being sexually promiscuous may be taboo, and it may be frowned upon, but that doesn't mean that women can just switch off their libidos and become androgynous, vagina-less drones.

I never suggested they should. But moderation is good. Middle ground.

And it may help if you didn't constantly LIE about it too.

Referring to my fiance and I's friend as mentioned in the OP.

I wouldn't judge her unless it was completely befoggling, what we found out about her.

And it was. More than I care to elaborate about on ATS.

Why I'm defending women's right to be sexual against a woman is beyond me. Perhaps you're hung up on some sexual insecurities, perhaps it's jealousy or a "me against them" mindset.

No. Just because we don't agree on this issue doesn't mean there's something wrong with me.

And again, I never said women shouldn't be sexual. But... boundries, moderation, etc.

Boundries are good for everything.

For the record, I'm not trying to cut you down, I'm calling you out on your BS.

Having morals is BS? Saying I'll never be a whore is BS?

Its a difference in beliefs between you and I.

That doesn't automatically make my beliefs BS, and justify yours.

We're just different. That's all.

You can't pass judgement on a bunch of people then turn around and call them judgmental hypocrites. Pot, meet kettle.

Actually, I can do whatever I like. I find it funny you're attacking my beliefs, yet anything apart from your beliefs is supposed to be considered BS. Pot meet kettle, indeed.