Funny

This is meant to be funny so don't be offended heh. Or maybe u are and go running crying to mama, either way. I got this off a former acquaintance. Top Ten Signs that You're a Christian:

10- You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods
claimed by
other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the
existence
of your god.

9- You feel insulted and 'dehumanized' when scientists say
that people
evolved from lesser life forms, but you have no problem with
the
Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8- You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem
believing in a
Trinity god.

7- Your face turns purple when you hear of the 'atrocities'
attributed
to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how
God/Jehovah
slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in 'Exodus' and ordered
the
elimination of entire ethnic groups in 'Joshua' -- including
women,
children, and animals!

6- You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek
claims
about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem
believing that
the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a
man-god who
got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the
sky.

5- You are willing to spend your life looking for little
loop-holes in
the scientifically established age of the Earth (4.55
billion years),
but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by
pre-historic tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing
that the
Earth is a couple of generations old.

4- You believe that the entire population of this planet
with the
exception of those who share your beliefs -- though
excluding those in
all rival sects -- will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell
of
Suffering. And yet you consider your religion the most
'tolerant' and
'loving'.

3- While modern science, history, geology, biology, and
physics have
failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around
on the
floor speaking in 'tongues' may be all the evidence you
need.

2- You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes
to answered
prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works.
And you
think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will
of God.

1- You actually know a lot less than many Atheists and
Agnostics do
about the Bible, Christianity, and church history -- but
still call
yourself a Christian.
way.