Leaving town...

I put this in the short story section because my family will be talking about this for years...

I will be out of town for the next few days bidding a contract job for demolition and renovation...
My old lady likes to play pranks on me pour pickle juice in my beer when I aint looking. Knowing I cant smell and putting diced onions in my back pockets that I never use. Trading bengay for my moisturizer that I use for my face...The list goes on.

To combat any future way too far pranks, I have a pit-bull Great dane mix. Great dane height with the build of a pit.

Anywho she gets a little stinky after dairy products. I leave in 1 hour. I feed her 1/4 of a gallon of milk. We all know dogs eggs and beans do not mix...at all. I gave her 2 cans of beans and one egg.

My dog sleeps next to the bed...infront of the fan...I just went around and collected EVERYTHING that could be used as a lead line so she cant tie her up outside. No fenced in yard... On the main stretch of a highway. So that dog is inside ALL NIGHT JACK. Oh yeah no door on the bed. Just when those juices get flowing... I will be gone, and she will be up s**t creek without a paddle. I think I should also lock her car up and hid the keys so she cant sleep in it.

Mwah hahahaha

It may seem like a lot but she eats 60+pounds of dog food a week. This is a light snack for her.

Cool story bro.

ever think of a divorce .tell the missus if she ever messes with you again you will get a hitman to sort her out ..

show her your the man .watch her face it will make her think twice

Playing her own game on her! I like it!

reply to post by eso322


So where's the short story? This isn't your personal blog.

Why dont you just literally just piss in her cheerios, I would

Nice! That is an awesome prank! I bet she will chill out for a while after that!
Good job!