Afraid to attach? You are not living. My solution is...

We all know that attachment is the cause of suffering bla bla bla...

What is attachment?
If you think it as inability to let things go, then i have to agree, you cant manage endings, you will suffer greatly for your loss.

But if you think of attachment as passion and enthusiasm for life events, people, things, relationships etc, then you are getting it wrong, don't be misled.

You can live with passion and enthusiasm for things of life, you can attach as long as you are able to detach when the ending comes.

If you can loose it, then you can have it.

The problem is not being able to loose, not being able to let go.

Some of us will solve the inability to let go, by being always detached, there is no passion, no enthusiasm, they are mere observers, they are not involved in life, they feel indifference, they lack interest, they don't care, they feel bored and apathetic.... They are not balanced because in order to cure a problem, they eradicate all life... No life, no problems right?

No my friends, permanent detachment is not my away.

You only need to detach when the ending times comes, when its time to let go...

Until then you can attach at will.

You can attach, if you are able to detach.

This way you wont miss a thing.

So what we need to do is learn to cut the ropes when its time to let go, until then lets live it with passion, enthusiasm and celebration, lets live unafraid of loss because when the ending comes, we will be able to handle it, we are adults, we can manage it, we might even feel some pain and suffering but its temporary, no problem, we know its like that, we allow it to happen because we can handle it, we know how to manage changes, we recover fast, we never really loose control of our lives.

Love u all

reply to post by Manula


Interesting idea moving the topic of attachment and its relation to suffering into a new thread. Before I noticed this one, I had responded to you in the other one (on emotions). I'll re-post here what I said there. We can continue the thread on this one if you wish.

And if they die, instead of dumping you?

"Time heals all wounds" is essentially the philosophy you're presenting. That the things you lose eventually scab over in your heart/mind, and life moves on. Very true, and very Buddhist. My question is still: how long should that process take, and who decides the length?

The premise you set off with was that all suffering was optional. I notice you've kind of retracted that opinion now though, admitting that suffering WILL happen. If suffering IS natural, then how can you say any length of suffering is better, or worse, than any other?

Do you have a list of approved lengths for which suffering is acceptable in situations? Or are you basing this all on your personal opinions concerning life experiences?


~ Wandering Scribe

If you want to live this way, that's perfectly fine, but you will still experience suffering. If you want to completely eradicate suffering, then passion and enthusiasm are not the way to go.

And no, this does not leave one feeling bored and apathetic. It leaves complete peace of mind.

This has nothing to do with being "afraid to attach" or being afraid to suffer. In fact, Manula, you sound like the one who is afraid. You're afraid to lose your passions, enthusiasm, etc. so you make this excuse to not have to do that but still be happy, and it causes you to irrationally justify suffering.

Originally posted by Damsel
If you want to live this way, that's perfectly fine, but you will still experience suffering. If you want to completely eradicate suffering, then passion and enthusiasm are not the way to go.

And no, this does not leave one feeling bored and apathetic. It leaves complete peace of mind.

This has nothing to do with being "afraid to attach" or being afraid to suffer. In fact, Manula, you sound like the one who is afraid. You're afraid to lose your passions, enthusiasm, etc. so you make this excuse to not have to do that but still be happy, and it causes you to irrationally justify suffering.

First off, EGO is the reason I am posting this.


The very fact that you felt compelled to respond to the op in such a confrontational and con-descending tone suggests that YOU are not at peace with yourself or else.......why the need to post?

Just as "I" am not at peace with MYself or else, why the need to point out YOUR blatant hypocracy?
It is ALL about ego.

YOU think you have got it all figured out don't you?

I have a passion for photography.
I "love" photography!
I am "at peace" when I am shooting/editing photos.

yet, accordng to you.......I am "suffering".

I also know that......when/if my camera breaks....I shall have to move on and remember the good times I had with my camera, and begin working toward obtaining a new one if should so choose.

Suffering is a choice.
It is not up to you or anyone else to be the one who decides who IS and who is NOT suffering.
Unless of course, you intend on making it well known how much YOU are suffering due to an overfed ego which I am now suffering from.

Seriously,
leggo the ego.

reply to post by GeneralChaos

Whoa. What brought all of this on? My post might have seemed confrontational, but Manula and I have argued this in a couple of threads at this point, so my comments weren't coming from out of no where.

Also, I never claimed to be at peace or without suffering, nor do I claim to be the one who decides who is or is not suffering, nor do I think I have everything figured out--else I wouldn't feel the need to discuss my views with other people and hear their ideas--so just relax.

Originally posted by Damsel
reply to post by GeneralChaos

 

nor do I claim to be the one who decides who is or is not suffering

but you will still experience suffering

reply to post by GeneralChaos


Right. I don't decide that though. If you have a problem with that conclusion, then challenge it, don't challenge the fact that I drew a conclusion.

Originally posted by Damsel
If you want to live this way, that's perfectly fine, but you will still experience suffering. If you want to completely eradicate suffering, then passion and enthusiasm are not the way to go.

And no, this does not leave one feeling bored and apathetic. It leaves complete peace of mind.

This has nothing to do with being "afraid to attach" or being afraid to suffer. In fact, Manula, you sound like the one who is afraid. You're afraid to lose your passions, enthusiasm, etc. so you make this excuse to not have to do that but still be happy, and it causes you to irrationally justify suffering.

I agree with the light touch Damsel gave.

+ the "enthusiasm" and "passion" one loses is replaced by true enthusiasm and passion, pure ones.

reply to post by Wandering Scribe


I think you got the point, no use in continuing this discussion.

We can allow ourselves some pain and suffering without really loosing control of your emotional state.
There is nothing wrong with some drama, it makes us more human, more compassionate, more sensible.

People who dont suffer at all are no longer humans...

reply to post by Manula


attachment is considered to be the crown chakra "demon"

I believe Manuela and Damsel are correct.

I feel for people should first understand the art of detachment and feel the inner peace that flows within remembering that state and becoming familiar with it, understanding and seeing where their desires and attachments are coming from.

Once the individual learns to drop their attachments naturally passions and desires, love will emerge but it's completely different now in the "awake" state. I believe it's healthy to cultivate our desires and experience life in anyway we may wish with the ability not become attach to them and we enjoy them thoroughly and that's what I call living in abundance.

Become attach and detach when the time comes, move on to the next event which represents change in energy. This has a nice balance flow to life.