I do not know what to do with my life.

This might unintentionally turn into a rant, but I’ll try to stay on track.

What to fight for?
I am 25 years old. In lack of better ideas I am currently taking a basic office education. I’ll be done in November, and I have no clue what I am going to do at that point. I am told I have a good head.
I think I am on a search for truth – but fear that I might never find any. I have often pondered, if the right thing to do, is fight for what one believe is true, or if one should fight to find out what is true? I don’t think that one necessarily excludes the other, but it seems that a lot of people out there are fighting because of what they believe is true, without ever really questioning it.

Motivation
I often wonder what motivates others to do the things they do, especially since there are so many things that I couldn’t justify myself. I find it very hard to think about personal gain, if I know that this somehow comes at the expense of someone else.

I do not wish to offend, but I imagine that the apathy is either result of ignorance or social conditioning. If I ask my dad, he will tell me that people are just less empathic then I expect them to be, greedy, selfish and so on. But I am not sure I believe him. His words however have never been reflected in his actions. (Which I guess demonstrates that parents’ actions have a greater effect on children, than their words. Sorry I am sidetracking.)

I guess my point is that I find all the chaos, suffering and tragedy in this world very overwhelming and demotivating. I don’t feel that I owe anybody anything, but on the other hand I don’t feel I can claim anymore than anyone else, regardless of how much effort I was to put into it. I’ve had a really good life so far, with an excellent and very privileged childhood, and looking out into the world, I feel I’ve already had more than most ever will, which makes it incredibly hard for me to want more. (Except knowledge - it makes me sad when knowledge is without my reach).
But how do you cope with it?

Right from wrong
I know that justice doesn’t exist. It is a word we use to describe our feelings about something, but there is no apparent authority on this matter, no real way of proving if any action is right or wrong, and no reason that two people shouldn’t think that the same thing is both just and unjust. People have different intentions, and you can only ever really debate the effectiveness of a method in fulfilling those intentions, but never if one is truly more right than the other.

But we are social creatures, and do have emotions. I am just curious about how you guys handle your emotions.

Hmmmm.. I feel this thread can go in many directions. I look forward to hear your responses, but I am not sure if I want to get into a big argument about who is right or wrong. I would just like to hear your opinions. So if you disagree with anything I’ve said, feel free to let me know, but don’t expect an answer.

Guess it turned into a rant anyway. Hahaha..

Move with purpose.
Think about it.

Enjoy your life, that's what you should do!
Find ways to help others if you can, it's very rewarding.

Money, all this material stuff, it's actually pointless in the context of how people misuse it and covet it unreasonably, and allow it to get in the way of what really matters.

I don't really know what you want to hear from people, but all I can say is go with your heart. You are young and time is on your side and with a bright future in front of you....

As for employment, have a good think about what you enjoy doing and try and go in that direction for work. Now is the time, don't do a job just because it pays money, do a job that you don't mind getting up for for the rest of your life....

So many people the world over fall into this trap, they get a certain job, get stuck in it and then can't get out of it. If you have spent so much time in a certain type of work, then eventually it becomes almost impossible to change direction..

This I can say now that I am older, don't take the same route as many others before you.

That is all I have to say...

Take care...

Originally posted by Mads1987

I know that justice doesn’t exist. It is a word we use to describe our feelings about something, but there is no apparent authority on this matter, no real way of proving if any action is right or wrong, and no reason that two people shouldn’t think that the same thing is both just and unjust.

I have to disagree with you here. Justice can exist it is up to us to achieve it.

Also there is an authority on justice, it's common sense decency.
Harming others or their property without legitimate grounds is simply wrong.
Saving someone from torture is right and just.

These are so easy to determine that almost everyone knows it automatically. Those who break the rules usually do it knowingly and don't care about repercussions while they are in the act.

Hello friend.

I'm very frustrated about my bad english, i'd like to say so much but this is so hard to write the exact meaning of what i'm trying to say.

Probably no one should listen to me, nor i should not give any input to matters, because many times i find a hard time trusting my own knowledge.

Anyways, these are somewhat same sort of questions and thoughts i've pondered about for whole adulthood.

My advice is this, do what makes you happy. Make things that drives your imagination. Do not focus your thoughts on the matters that you are unable to control/change.

In short, Feel what is best to you and try to act accordingly. Try not to fear. Try to trust on the "good side of the matters".

Try to make your world, don't let others make it for you. The less you consume bad data, the better.

reply to post by Mads1987


40 y/o over here.

In my 40 years of existence I've noticed a few things.

One of them is. The world will keep on spinning either with or without you.
So you can sit around like a hermit. Or you can get out there and live your life to the fullest.

I suggest living life to the fullest.

Another thing.

Spoon boy: Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth.
Neo: What truth?
Spoon boy: There is no spoon.
Neo: There is no spoon?
Spoon boy: Then you'll see, that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.

Sometimes in order to change the world you have to change yourself.
what you feel and think on the inside can affect how you view the world and how the world treats you.
Think about this it's important.

last and not least.
Life is short. You can die at any moment. Do the important things you want to do.
See 1.

Wow - great responses guys. I am not sure what I expected, but this has definitely brightened up my day! Thanks guys.

reply to post by menneni

thank you for sharing. I agree with you, and especially the part about the things we can't control. It reminded me of Reinhold Niebuhr "Serenity Prayer". Goes something like this:

God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.

I am not a man of faith, but I really appreciate the first paragraph. The second part is less important in regards to this debate, since it asserts that God will fix everything - but still a good poem.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

reply to post by Mads1987


as a 44 year old, I can tell you this. Your dad is probably right most of the time. Accept it, even if you don't like the answer.

You are right that the world sucks and all the evil people who conspire to do evil things do exist. But...... the can only affect you if you let them.

If you don't play by their rules, you can do anything you want. Stay away from credit, pay cash. Don't live beyond your paycheck. If you don't like the situation, YOU change it. Don't wait for someone else to do it for you.

Smile and be positive. It will transcend to others and in turn make your life easier.

Understand that you cannot fail, and there is nothing you cannot do. Only things that you haven't learned yet.

Family is most important. MOST.

Live life in such a way that if you died in 5 minutes, you would do so with little to no regrets.

Treat others like you like to be treated.

Work hard, it will make you feel more accomplished.

Listen to your DAD!

Have fun.

Follow your heart and pursue what gives you the deepest satisfaction and sense of accomplishment.

Just don't forget to take whatever gets the bills paid while pursuing it.

That's my advice as a fellow seeker in life.

A bit of a cliched video but one that encapsulates many of the answers in this thread.

What if money was no object? What would you want to do?

Let’s suppose, I do this often in vocational guidance of students, they come to me and say, well, "we’re getting out of college and we have the faintest idea what we want to do". So I always ask the question, "what would you like to do if money were no object? How would you really enjoy spending your life?"

www.alexandrosmaragos.com...

It's not easy to answer, but a question worth spending some time pondering?

Originally posted by Mads1987


I know that justice doesn’t exist. It is a word we use to describe our feelings about something, but there is no apparent authority on this matter, no real way of proving if any action is right or wrong, and no reason that two people shouldn’t think that the same thing is both just and unjust.

Well for me I truly believe Karma eventually gets people in the end. I've seen it a few times and most people do get what they deserve in life.

How do we deal with our emotions? It's a lot worse as you get older. You have more stress and more responsibilities so that's why I see many people that turn to drinking to deal with life. That verse you put up is the same as the one for AA alcoholics anonymous.

Some advice - travel.
I spent most of my 20's traveling. It really opens your eyes. And seeing other cultures is great.
Do it before you have piles of bills and kids.
I'm pushing close to 40 now and have young children so I'm glad I traveled without them first. There's no way I could do it now.

Originally posted by Tankgirl

Originally posted by Mads1987


I know that justice doesn’t exist. It is a word we use to describe our feelings about something, but there is no apparent authority on this matter, no real way of proving if any action is right or wrong, and no reason that two people shouldn’t think that the same thing is both just and unjust.

Well for me I truly believe Karma eventually gets people in the end. I've seen it a few times and most people do get what they deserve in life.

Thank you for the advice. I should travel more.

Regarding Karma. I'd agree that bad things have a tendency to happen to bad people sooner or later. So in that sense people do get what they deserve in life. But when it comes to the poorest people of the world, the 900 million or so that are malnourished, those who are abused and killed, casualties of war, and so on... - I doubt that they are getting what they deserve, and I find it hard so very hard to accept this fact.

Reminded me of a passage from a Mark Twain book called The Mysterious Stranger. Excellent story by the way.

"....Every man is a suffering-machine and a happiness-machine combined. The two functions work together harmoniously, with a fine and delicate precision, on the give-and-take principle. For every happiness turned out in the one department the other stands ready to modify it with a sorrow or a pain—maybe a dozen. In most cases the man's life is about equally divided between happiness and unhappiness. When this is not the case the unhappiness predominates—always; never the other. Sometimes a man's make and disposition are such that his misery-machine is able to do nearly all the business. Such a man goes through life almost ignorant of what happiness is. Everything he touches, everything he does, brings a misfortune upon him. You have seen such people? To that kind of a person life is not an advantage, is it? It is only a disaster. Sometimes for an hour's happiness a man's machinery makes him pay years of misery. Don't you know that?....."

I read this when I was a teen, and I clearly recall how I felt, when it first dawned on me that some people go through they entire life, however short it may be, without ever experiencing joy, love, happines etc..

It is very sad.

Find a big dream and work to make it happen. Try a vision quest or spiritual practice to see for yourself what to do.

As always, try to make your socio economic position go up. It means make money and achieve higher status. Backtrack and see what your parents wanted, or follow in their footsteps if its good. Stand for things that you believe in. Find genuine people to spend your life with.

There was a time when you knew your purpose, rediscover it.

Some people have no idea what to do with their life ever.

Those 'some' people also never really tried to push their limits. Don't ever blame your father if he didn't figure it out. You need to find your true calling so he will be at peace with your up bringing...

So... Back on topic, you are at your wits end. You have no idea what life is all about. You need to reach beyond your current limitations and push your comfort levels to the extreme. Then and only then will you realize what you want to do in life. That doesn't mean you will find your dream job, but it does mean you will find what is important to you.

Your best bet is to branch out - learn how the rest of the world operates. You will also see what people at their wits end really concentrate their efforts on.

The easiest and best bet is to join the peace corp. You only have to volunteer a couple of years. Those couple of years will be the most cherished years of your life. You'd base the rest of your life off of the experiences you'd got during the peace corps.

Normally I'd say join a military, but most of them are F'd up beyond belief.

You just need to be able to put everything into perspective. Effort in equals success out.

reply to post by Mads1987


There have been many threads with this theme. Hopefully, I will remember to answer this in a new thread when I get out of work today.

If I had it to do all over again, I'd learn a trade. Something that can't be outsourced, like a plumber or electrician, or truck driver, etc.

I have an MBA, and it isn't really doing much for me. Sure, I can get a menial job making some money, but not enough to justify my educational costs, not in this job market. If I was a tradesman though, I'd be making money hand over fist, and without the student loans.

This is my basic advice to any young person these days. Learn a trade, and you are set. Heck, you don't even have to worry about layoffs, because you could always go into business just for yourself. As for health insurance, nowadays, it is almost too much to pay anyhow, so you're almost better off out of pocket!

reply to post by Mads1987

I find it very hard to think about personal gain, if I know that this somehow comes at the expense of someone else.

That awareness that you naturally have is what will keep you all your life. Your needs will be met.

What more do we need?