I am not good enough, says everyone else

Hi,
Your thread title is about people who say you aren't good enough, but the content is more about emotions.
Which is it? Are you not good enough, or are you too emotional? Are you telling yourself that you're not good enough?
No-one is, we can only do what we can, and we can't fix everything, there's just too much wrong.
Try not to care as deeply, as it's too painful, care enough and then let go.
Your loved ones are the most important thing in life EVER and they might miss 'you' or be worried about you.

reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX


They tell you that you cannot handle yourself, but is that true? You know your limits. You know what you are capable of handling, so why be mad at them? Forgive them. It will end this drama and it will also make you feel relief.

People are different, and that's a good thing IMHO.
Nature had good reasons to make us act and think in different ways.
If we were all alike, the world would be a very uniform place to live in.

There's a need for people of all sorts: the egomaniacs, the altruists, the introverted empathetic type, those who can handle stress and, of course, those who can't handle stress etc.

Also, everyone has weaknesses and strengths. Discover yours (may need some time) and make the best out of both.

Ultimately, I think that variety (such as opposing/different personalities) is very important and it's often the contradictions in life that make us open up doors and discover new paths. It's equally important as the fair amount of discipline and adaptation we owe to society on the whole or the need for some balance in our private lives. But none of us can always give 100% and there are times where we're fully capable of serving society and other times in which we're weak and need to focus on ourselves.

Those who are around you should respect your weak spots (at least to some extent, while you're 'working' on those) and rather support your talents and strengths. So don't feel bad and look ahead with a smile ... there's a role for everyone to play in this movie!

Hope this helps, and apologies if all this sounded a bit too philosophical!

Originally posted by winofiend
reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX

 

You're 19. 3 years ago you were 16.

Why are you getting married, you're still a baby

And you've got a long, long, long way to go yet, no need to wear yourself out so fast.

Believe it or not, what you think you know is everything now, will one day seem so simple and what you know then will make what you know now seems so unimportant.

You have to get there first.

If you don't learn anything thing else on ATS, fine! But please listen to this guy. He said all there really is for you to know or care about right now.

At 19, to have a fiancé, is @#*! and I should know because that's the route I took (yes we're still married). Now I get it... Drama and drop dead gorgeous. Tell that poor bastard to run for the hills before its too late. Mine wouldn't listen when I tried to warn him and now just look at him...

Well guys, I'm getting the You're too young to think for yourself types of replies again, so nothin' doin'.

My fiance and I have been together for four years, and we love one another more than anything on the planet. Weather some of you more experienced folks have faith in us or not, it really doesn't matter. More to the point, it fuels me.

You can call me childish. Whateva.

I shouldn't have made this thread. And I didn't mean to imply I only wanted to "Hear what I want to hear," I only meant some ATSers are a bit merciless with people. Not that it hits me hard or anything, its just quite annoying to hear people throw their opinions out like facts when they haven't walked in your shoes.

At 19, to have a fiancé, is @#*! and I should know because that's the route I took (yes we're still married). Now I get it... Drama and drop dead gorgeous. Tell that poor bastard to run for the hills before its too late. Mine wouldn't listen when I tried to warn him and now just look at him...

I'm sorry, but that sounds really sad. And I'd appreciate if you didn't call my fiance names...

My relationship is nothing like this, nor will it ever be. We love each other too much.

Do your self a favor. Print this entire thread out. Put it away somewhere safe. Read it to yourself in 20 years.

I wasn't calling either of you names, by the way.

And it can be done, but it's very rare and it's not like the movies. I admire your fiesty attitude, you sound a lot like me when I was 19. The thing is, he has to admire that wild spark in you (not run from it and not be scared by it).

You're a willful girl, I get that. There's both good and bad things that come with that. Not listening to people who've been there before is one of the downsides. Perseverance and determination is just one of your strengths. You can't always be "guns a blazing" 100% of the time. You get me?

Originally posted by B1rd1nFL1ghT
Do your self a favor. Print this entire thread out. Put it away somewhere safe. Read it to yourself in 20 years.

I wasn't calling either of you names, by the way.

And it can be done, but it's very rare and it's not like the movies. I admire your fiesty attitude, you sound a lot like me when I was 19. The thing is, he has to admire that wild spark in you (not run from it and not be scared by it).

You're a willful girl, I get that. There's both good and bad things that come with that. Not listening to people who've been there before is one of the downsides. Perseverance and determination is just one of your strengths. You can't always be "guns a blazing" 100% of the time. You get me?

Sure, I get you.

He adores me, in every sense (God knows why, lol).

He adores that spark, most definitely.

But it really scares him. He thinks I'm a "Run in guns blazing!" kind of person, just because I have strong beliefs. But I'm not. He's overly paranoid that I'm gonna get hurt somehow.

I understand why, but I'm not gonna live in a bubble just to keep him content.

There are things I care about that I need to be involved with.

The reason I tend not to pay much mind to the Listen to people who have been there and done that stuff is because everyone around me has. My parents, for example.

But I dare say my relationship is stronger than theirs. We would never fight over half the petty crap they squabble over. We're waiting till marriage to... y'know. And we're not even thinking about kids yet. We're taking it slow and cautious, and we love each other more than life itself.

I'm pretty confident.

Originally posted by XxNightAngelusxX

Originally posted by B1rd1nFL1ghT
Do your self a favor. Print this entire thread out. Put it away somewhere safe. Read it to yourself in 20 years.

I wasn't calling either of you names, by the way.

And it can be done, but it's very rare and it's not like the movies. I admire your fiesty attitude, you sound a lot like me when I was 19. The thing is, he has to admire that wild spark in you (not run from it and not be scared by it).

You're a willful girl, I get that. There's both good and bad things that come with that. Not listening to people who've been there before is one of the downsides. Perseverance and determination is just one of your strengths. You can't always be "guns a blazing" 100% of the time. You get me?

Sure, I get you.

He adores me, in every sense (God knows why, lol).

He adores that spark, most definitely.

But it really scares him. He thinks I'm a "Run in guns blazing!" kind of person, just because I have strong beliefs. But I'm not. He's overly paranoid that I'm gonna get hurt somehow.

I understand why, but I'm not gonna live in a bubble just to keep him content.

There are things I care about that I need to be involved with.

The reason I tend not to pay much mind to the Listen to people who have been there and done that stuff is because everyone around me has. My parents, for example.

But I dare say my relationship is stronger than theirs. We would never fight over half the petty crap they squabble over. We're waiting till marriage to... y'know. And we're not even thinking about kids yet. We're taking it slow and cautious, and we love each other more than life itself.

I'm pretty confident.

Well, to that I say, well done! That's extremely rare to hear and you both should be commended, in my opinion. But I wouldn't get married just for that reason either (just saying). I would say you both have a fighting chance, given what you've said so far. You both sound devoted to one another.

Love is a powerful thing! A man will stop at nothing to protect his woman. Try and understand his perspective too. It is a give and take, remember (not saying you should give in) just understand his emotions too. Men show their emotions in bizarre ways compared to us ladies. It will take you a lifetime to figure him out, but cut him some slack..."cause after all he's just a man"

Good luck to you. I think you'll be just fine though!

Oh, you're 19 years old?

I must warn you, you might be........ too emotionaly involved.

What's the appropriate smiley?

reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX

Its funny, because none of these people have been through what I have.

None of them have watched family members die. None of them were jumped throughout certain eras of their childhood. None of them had their stuff stolen, and were called every name in the book on a regular basis.

None of them had a stepmother that was worse than the devil himself, who was verbally and physically abusive in every way possible, a schizophrenic manic-depressive psychotic monster who liked to beat children with shoes while telling them how worthless they are.

If you keep seeing yourself as a victim, that is the only way you will identify yourself.

EVERYONE has had crap in their lives. Some less than you, Some (believe it or not) far worse than you.

No one person can fix the world. Nor is it your responsibility. Don't waste your youth worrying about it.

Fix whatever you don't like about YOU first. The rest can wait. Enjoy life, and don't worry about things you can't change or control. If someone actually SAYS you aren't good enough, then what do they know? They aren't you. I think the problem is that YOU are one of those saying you aren't good enough. Quit lying to yourself. Be the best YOU that you can be, and all will fall into place, as well as it can. Good luck!