I am extremely reluctant to post this. Specifically wondering if anyone else has seen this.

I have to admit that I have also had terrifying experiences with entities in my life.
The first being was in a series of dreams, where I kept seeing this creature in what appeared to be a form of the reaper, with a dark hood, and sometimes, a scythe or skeletal face. It always started with me running in front of my lawn, when out of nowhere it would appear, and I would run away from my home. Whenever I would come back, it would be there waiting for me, and when I turned around, it would envelop me in its cloak and cover me in darkness. I kept having this dream repeatedly even over the course of years.
The next entity I saw was in my room, whom I at the time shared with my brother. Well after using the bathroom, I saw a shadowy being, sitting in his chair which he used for computer, and when I reached out to grab it, it vanished.
The last phantom I saw was when I fell asleep one night, woke up, and could barely move. I then turned my head and could barely speak, when I looked up and saw it levitating over my bed. It was in a white cloak, had a dark face, but I could still see that it had an evil grin underneath it all. It waved its finger back and forth at me when I actually woke up, and since then, I have wondered what it was all about.

reply to post by DarwinVsJesus


Non-human features, grim-like, wide-smile with slit eyes. Sounds more like Shadow. But Shadow isn't just one person, it is many people.

Had a couple encounters, but mainly ones that run by me in the corner of my eye. It's one of those you see movement and then it's gone.

But in your case, full-body Shadow, they are nasty beings. Outcasts, are the proper term for them.

Going off your first post, OP, he/it said that "I won't let you have your memories back." Not to sound rude, but did you let him? I mean, if you let him, he'll take them, that is the purpose of the Outcasts, give people resistance.

However, there is a catch. The more you fear, the more resistance. The more resistance, the more fear. So, what do you do? Suggestion, stop the fear. This Shadow has the power to do all kinds of things to your body, but you have the power to crush his ideas/intentions.

Next step?

Very interesting story, if this were happening to me I would likely not speak of it either. However after being visited so many times and surviving the encounters I would get very curious and would attempt to converse with the entity.

Who knows, perhaps you really will learn something unique... Even if it doesn't want to tell you, you may have more power to make it speak than you think you do... I think you're seeing this thing for a reason and confronting it seems to be the only way to find out.

I've had a similar experience, though I've never seen a face.

I was having a lucid dream and eventually came to a train where I was exploring, walking down its corridors . It was then that I had the most odd feeling that something was amiss . There was something in my dream that I could not control. This had never happened before or since. I t came from behind a door and I did everything I could to keep the door closed but against my will and my strength, it flew open and knocked me back. As I fell, this man that was grinning (I guess that's a similarity too) with a beard and shaggy long hair, crazy eyes leapt on top of me and was laughing maniacally . I screamed in my dream a curse word and it woke me up but I could only move my eyes. I was overcome with a feeling of not fear, but hatred and rage that I have never felt. I was furious and I couldn't understand why. All I felt was that hatred. As I lay here unable to do anything but look around, I saw this huge dark figure rise from next to me stand up and hen walk out of sight . As soon as he left my vision I was no longer furious nor paralyzed and I jumped up, a little unnerved about it all. There was no one in the room, but I looked where he was laying and not only was my pillow still rising from where my head was, But so was the other pillow on the other side of the bed. It was bizarre ...

reply to post by DarwinVsJesus


Hey DarwinvsJesus,

I hear you, and I'm quite sorry to hear about your current predicament. First off, props for your sobriety - I work in an emergency room in the inner city and see tons and tons of addiction, and being able to set yourself free is one of the most impressive feats one can achieve in life. Seriously, well done and keep on keeping on man.

Secondly, I had an eerily similar dream when I was approx. 4 years old, which like you is the first dream I actually remember. The entity that was stalking me was slightly different, in that he was wearing a brimmed hat, but same face (almost like the Joker form the old Batman cartoons) - ear to ear insidious grin and a weird, unearthly voice. I was very tall, with creepy long fingers and a very pale complexion, but the face was not quite human, though he did have eyes/eyebrows and other features of a face. He called me out by name, and said something about me being a "pilgrim". He was watching me around the corner of a dark hallway, and I just remember being absolutely petrified. I was brought up in a Christian household and went to some ridiculous Sunday school where I got brainwashed and taught all sorts of watered-down stories, but I do remember that I said the name "Jesus", and the entity left me and since then, has never visited again. I say that, because I'd encourage you to try it the next time you encounter GM... if a little terrified 4 year old doused in corrupted and institutionalized religion can do it, you surely can do. Your willingness is the only barrier, and I appreciate what is probably a very strong reluctance and even disgust on your part.

I respect the moral code you have chosen to live by, and while I would identify myself as Christian - meaning I believe in God the father and his son, Jesus, and have chosen to attempt to follow the teachings of Jesus - I am probably equally as repulsed by churches and most "Christians" as you are. My sister was psychologically abused by an overbearing fundamentalist Christian in college and has never recovered, so I can empathize - even if only a little bit - with the pain of watching your mother's downward spiral. Most of those bible bashers looking to convert via "turn or burn" methodology and a nice heavy hard-backed King James to smack you in the jaw with are doing the exact opposite of what they ought, and really, what is taught in Jesus' teachings. Convenient things like "don't judge" and about a thousand other "minor details" are overlooked, left out, or simply ignored at face value in lieu of pursuing their own agenda. I get it.

All of that said, you know as well as anyone that the paranormal is real, that non-human entities visit and interact with us, so for all those folks that say "it's just in your mind bro", they can shove it. Some have already said it, and I'll just reinforce the truth - this GM is a demon. They're the only thing I know of that can instill a feeling of terror like we have both experienced but also manifest a palpable sensation of raw, pure evil. THAT is something which cannot be manufactured. Again, I respect your dislike of Christianity, of God, and of everything related, but fortunately or unfortunately - depending on your perspective - there is immense power in the name of Jesus. I am not at all charismatic, but I have had a very few encounters with demonic entities, and all of them have been blocked or barred by me saying "Jesus". Just try it, if nothing else, out of sheer cynicism and morbid curiosity. If you say Jesus and GM reacts, I'd say it's definitely demonic, and for whatever reasons wrought through all dimensionality and spacetime, it simply cannot fight against or overcome this name. Now you may have to repeat it many, many times, but I'd say judge it by GM's reaction to it. And I can guarantee you that if you say "Jesus" - despite your level of belief/unbelief/whatever, GM will definitely react.

I wish you the best of luck, and hope that if not helpful, this post is at least food for thought. Again, I sincerely thank you for your honesty and bravery in posting this struggle, and please, if nothing else, take encouragement from all those that have chimed in in support. I have a morbid fascination with the paranormal - hence being on ATS; I studied psychology extensively in undergrad and have always been interested in mental health issues - one of the least well understood physiological maladies... my take is that they are both physical (neurotransmitters, brain structure) and spiritual, for we are spiritual creatures. I've suffered from depression since I was a child and have benefited from medication, but there is also a spiritual element to my disease, something that confuses but fascinates me. I'd expect the same may be true for you. Anyways, I have several resources if you're interested. Thanks!

reply to post by DarwinVsJesus


btw, THANK YOU for point #2. It frustrates me to no end how religious folks get so bent out of shape about the "clash" between science and religion. They compliment each other beautifully. I believe in God, but I also believe in evolution, and have studied a lot of astronomy and I've got to say, I'm fairly confident that our planet is more than 6000 years old. Nowhere in scripture is there *any* claim to this.

try asking it its name. once you know its name, the game is afoot.
.

OP, have you ever thought about taking a picture of it?..... i know it's so frightening you don't want to move or whatever, but really... i guess you sleep with your iphone/whatever beside your bed... so the following would be interesting:
1. if it shows up in the picture
2. how does it really look like after flash being fired
3. what would be its/his reaction to you taking a picture of it/him

&then if you would be able to see him in the picture & you could upload it here... that would be a game-changer

Originally posted by DarwinVsJesus
Make no mistake everyone. I am grateful for all of your posts. I just wish we could stay on the matter at hand instead of debating christianity and Satanism. Satanism got me off drugs. It helped me cultivate self-discipline and a deeper understanding of my dedication to my wife. Most of all, Satanism taught me that it's okay to make mistakes. Don't feel guilt. Just learn from them and don't keep making them. You aren't sorry unless you learn.

So, I am grateful for the responses. Please continue. I am relieved to hear other people have experienced this. I can't respond to everyone because I just can't focus that well. I read every post and I am taking everything into consideration.

Point taken... The saying you put on your wall was a positive affirmation that helped give you strength. A positive principle doesn't require someone else's approval. What matters is that is lifted you up when you needed it.

I've read everything you've posted and I have no doubt that are trying your best to live a good life. Sure hope I didn't give you any reason to think otherwise.

Have you read any Carl Jung? If you can find Key To Yourself by Venice Bloodworth(sp?), I highly recommend it.
Jung spoke of ideas like the Universal Consciousness (likewise the Universal Subconscious). Bloodworth expanded on the idea. You can look at "God created Man in his own image" as a parable. Imagine going to the Pacific or Atlantic ocean and filling a peanut butter jar with water and closing the lid. I could then come back to Indiana and sit that jar on my bookshelf. Would that jar be any less seawater than the ocean it came from? I'm glad you've been able to see some validation in this thread. There truly are some things we all share. We're each a peanut butter jar of ocean... When the references to Shadow People started popping up a few years ago it wasn't lost on me that the old-timey term for a disembodied spirit was a Shade. (Please notice I use the original definition. Some make the mistake of assuming that means ghost but that is only a recent assumption. You won't find it used as such in anything written a couple hundred years ago.)

You've been more courageous than me. I've seen physical manifestations, but am truly thankful I've never dealt with any apparitions. Don't ever want to, either. I've made the choice to affirm daily that Life is for the Living and there is no place in mine for playing games with the unseen. I've become one very unreceptive "sensitive".

Best wishes for sure, I'll keep you in my thoughts.

He came to you when you were weak and you feared him. You built him up through your fear of him. Your addcition gave him fear, anger , sadness to feed off of. You are his meal ticket to keep manifesting in this world. You meditate but you follow a "religion" that tells you to feed your ego so you are unable to spiritually grow. He has extinguished light in you and he wants to make sure you stay in his world. transform him with kindness and love.

You may not like the solution, but I stumbled across this site whilst researching my brother in laws encounter. He describes a very similar character, this one however grabs him by the throat (says it has a freezing cold grip)

www.alienresistance.org...

I realize it is not aliens (not to piss all of ATS off), however they are one in the same and the solution to ridding them from your life is 100% garunteed.

Originally posted by Tianmat
It's difficult to try and cheer you up while you are going through this torture. But have you thought of the possibility that "it" does not mean to hurt you?

Have you thought of the possibility that it cannot hurt you?

These beings are bound by laws in the spirit world when they interfere here. Tell it to leave and it must.

Some people use priests to do this or use the name of religious gods to give them the strength to tell it themselves. This is only because they are too frightened to do it themselves as they feel powerless, and when the entity leaves, it leaves them feeling that the entity was more powerful than they are, and so they needed extra help.

I know it takes courage, but be brave and face it.

Considering how evil it is, don't you thing it would have killed or seriously hurt you by now if it could? The reason why it hasn't, is because it's not allowed to. All it can do is scare you to the point that you harm yourself, which is its intention.

The last encounter I had with a dark one resulted in it fleeing with a terrified look on its face because it knew I was about to command it to leave. As scary as these beings look, you would truly be astonished how easy it is to scare them. As soon as they know you're not scared of them and are going to challenge them, they crap themselves. I'm not kidding.

Try reaching out and grabbing it. That scares the hell out of them. Personally, I think it burns them or something because they will not allow you to touch them.

Originally posted by kingofmd
You may not like the solution, but I stumbled across this site whilst researching my brother in laws encounter. He describes a very similar character, this one however grabs him by the throat (says it has a freezing cold grip)

I have heard of entities grabbing people before and I believe that this can only happen if their victim is terrified enough. I believe that when this happens, the victims aura shrinks (as the entity is absorbing your energy at this point) and the aura acts as some sort of force field against them (this is what I believe "burns" them).

Originally posted by undo
try asking it its name. once you know its name, the game is afoot.

This is another command they must obey.

ETA: This is why possessed people will reveal the name of the entity when asked.

Originally posted by DarwinVsJesus
The idea that when you tried to get up, this thing moved closer to you without saying a word is just so #ing frightening.

So why didn't it more closer before he tried to get up?

It was challenging him. It knew it had to do something because its victim was about to discover that they could overpower it.

Originally posted by DarwinVsJesus
Now, I listen to death metal. I always have. When I was a christian, I listened to Christian death metal. My father, who was very open-minded about music, refused to allow me to play it around him because "they sound exactly like that" and he alluded that he too had these experiences, but never spoke about them.

That is something I wondered about... See, now you can add the fact that it may be generational to your toolbox/arsenal. Just as someone who is genetically disposed to a disease or addiction, it helps to know what to avoid. I have faith that as you work through whatever feedback you get here and do on your own, eventually you will win this fight. Knowing it is a family thing should free you of any thoughts that it is something that you brought on. Now the heavy lifting will be to drive it out of your Life.

Christopher Hitchens was an atheist's atheist but, when fighting throat cancer, he didn't dissuade anyone from saying a prayer for him if it made them feel better because he appreciated the intent. (Sadly, there were many Christians who gloated on his terminal condition but that's another thread.)

If I say I'll keep you in my prayers, it's meant only in the good way...

First of all let me say how sorry I am that you have this happen to you. I havent read all 18 pages so if this already brought up please forgive me. You mentioned that one of your sisters saw "it" or something close to it when they were dabbling in the occult. Are your sisters older than you? Could they have been using a ouija board? Because if they did, there is no telling what they let in.

Originally posted by evictiongnostic

Originally posted by DarwinVsJesus

Originally posted by undo
is it possible it's not even your memories he's referring to?
if my weird theory is correct, he could be referring to you and your memories on a different timeline in some alternate universe, in which case, he may not even know he's in the wrong place. i would seriously suggest checking around your environment for items, objects, photographs, perhaps something you've had since you were a 2.5 years old, and if you think you've found it, move it out of your visual range.

i dunno. only thing i can think of to explain paranormal phenomemon is that it's probably easily defined with science, we just don't have all the loose ends yet.

No, he used my name. And actually, I mistyped. What I heard was "we won't give you back your memory."

I was wide awake when I heard this, I wasn't sleepy, in a daze. It petrified me. It sounded like thunder, rumbling, gurgling. Like cement grinding on a hollow sidewalk.

Now, I listen to death metal. I always have. When I was a christian, I listened to Christian death metal. My father, who was very open-minded about music, refused to allow me to play it around him because "they sound exactly like that" and he alluded that he too had these experiences, but never spoke about them.

You may have felt awake but you were probably in a Hypnagogic state where you will commonly have audio and/or visual hallucinations. I have them myself and often you will hear voices, buzzing/rumbling noises or both. I've had several experiences with what I consider hallucinations but it does often involve an entity interacting with me through words or touch.

I recently had one where a voice told me in a buzzing voice, that sounded like it was emanating from my space heater, that told me it "wanted [me] to know what kind of technology [they] have". I then saw a light shine into my eyes from out of the window and then watched a UFO fly under the treeline. All that is of course frightening if it's not a hypnagogic hallucination but that seems the best explanation I've found.

Of course the common experiences of people in hypnagogic states could just be that our minds are in a trance like state, able to interact with some other dimensional beings, but that to me is the less likely explanation. Either way you're not alone in this, but after years of this I've never been harmed despite some of the experiences feeling somewhat threatening.

Hypnagogia - Hallucinations

I get those too. I know what they are, and this is very different. There's nothing fuzzy, grainy, or blurry, or hazy. I am wide awake during these encounters. I dont sleep well as it is, and I generally have a very hard time falling asleep without sedatives. I don't like sedatives. I'm really quite certain this is not a hypnagogic state.

Originally posted by Spader
First of all let me say how sorry I am that you have this happen to you. I havent read all 18 pages so if this already brought up please forgive me. You mentioned that one of your sisters saw "it" or something close to it when they were dabbling in the occult. Are your sisters older than you? Could they have been using a ouija board? Because if they did, there is no telling what they let in.

Yes, they did. And yes, they are.

Originally posted by XGodofWar
He came to you when you were weak and you feared him. You built him up through your fear of him. Your addcition gave him fear, anger , sadness to feed off of. You are his meal ticket to keep manifesting in this world. You meditate but you follow a "religion" that tells you to feed your ego so you are unable to spiritually grow. He has extinguished light in you and he wants to make sure you stay in his world. transform him with kindness and love.

If someone should smite you on one cheeck, SMASH him on the other! give blow for blow, with compound interest liberally applied thereunto. Self-preservation is the highest law!

You can't love everyone, and it's stupid to think you can. If you try, you lose your powers of selection, and become a poor judge of character.

I much prefer the empowering idea that I can just tell him to # off.