What's your favorite joke?

Just wanted to know what your favorite is. This is mine...


How do you get a little old lady to say f%ck?

Have another little old lady say bingo!

Here is mine:

"A Priest, a Pervert and a Pedophile walk into a bar... Then the second guy walks in."

Someone else posted this here, I loved it.

A man, a woman, and their little girl are driving down the freeway.

The man says something that seriously pisses the woman off and she reaches over and cuts the mans wee-wee off and tosses it out the window whereupon, due to the wind it flies around and lands on the windshield.

The litttle girl goes: "Daddy !!!! What's THAT ?????"

The dad goes: "THAT ????? oh, it's nothing, honey, that's just a bug"

The little girl goes: " Well that bug has a really BIG dick"


Another:


A guy goes to the dentist with an abscessed tooth.

The dentist says: "Well, sir, what happens to be the problem ?"

The guy says: " Well you see.....ahem...everytime I fart it sounds like 'Honnnnnnda, Honnnnnda"

The dentist says: "Oh, that's easy...you see, abscess makes the fart go honda"

Mine is
How do you confuse someone?
ANS: You put them in a round room and ask them to sit in the corner.




Another one
Jhonny: Dad ,what is a penis? All the guys and gals at school were asking me today.
Dad whoops out his dick and says "well son, this is a penis, the perfect penis.
Next day jhonny goes to school and
Boys and gals: So jhonny , what is a penis?
Jhonny takes out his dick and says "well, this is a penis. In fact if it were 3 inches shorter it would be the perfect penis".

[Edited on 4-11-2004 by capone3d]

This one's a Peter Kay joke:-

The other day I saw 6 men beating up the mother-in-law, may neighbour asked if was going to help, but I said 'Nah, six should be enough'

A man and his wife hear some bad news at the doctors office.
The doctor tells them the man's heart is too weak to have sex anymore, so he suggests they sleep in separate beds now.
They go home and the wife fixes herself a little single bed downstairs,
and the husband stays upstairs.

One night--about 5 days later, they meet each other on the stairs.

"Where were you going?" the husband asks her.

"I'm fixin' to kill you!" she replies.

"Where were you going?" the man asks her.

"I'm fixin to die!"

Guy goes to a doctor and says :"Doc you gotta help me, I've got a real small penis and it's messing with my self esteem".

The doctor chuckles hearing this from most men, but upon inspection informs the man that he indeed does have a very small penis, but there is hope. They have a new procedure taking part of the muscle from a baby elephants trunk and placing it in the penis. It doesn't hurt the elephant and increases the penis size tremendously.

Hearing all the details the man happily agrees to the surgery. About six weeks later he's out on a date with a beautiful woman and he's newly improved penis.

As the two are talking over salad the mans new penis suddenly reaches up over the table, grabs a dinner roll and then dives back into the man's pants.

The shocked woman looks at him and stutters: "That's amazing, can you do that again?"

The equally shocked man replies: "I think so, but I don't think my a$% can take another biscuit."

Ba dum pum.

SPiderj

[Edited on 11/7/2004 by Spiderj]

A man is new to the world of masturbation, and he doesn't know where he should do it. His wife is always home, and they don't have locks on any of the doors except the front door. He asks a friend, Joey, and he told him to just pull his truck over to the side of the road and crawl under. If somebody comes up, then just say that you're having car trouble and you've pretty much got it.

Well, on the way back from the grocery store the very next day, he pulls his truck over to the side of the road, crawls under, pulls his jeans down, closes his eyes, and starts working away. Then about 15 minutes later a cop walks up and says to him "Are you having car trouble?" He replies "Yeah, I just had some muffler problems, and I don't think I need any help. Thanks anyway." The cop chuckles to himself. "You might want to check your brakes, too, because your truck is over in that ditch."


� 2004 diehard_democrat

I have three

So, a baby seal walks into a club...

ba-dum dum

Q: Why shouldn't women have driver's license?

A: There is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom.

and

Q: Why do women have periods?

A: Because they deserve them...