Dunkin Donuts Could Save Your Life. A Night In Chi-Town

I know this is a conspiracy site. I've been all through all of that, trust me. I know that short stories don't get much draw, and maybe this is why I do them. Because the new me just might want to write and share MY short stories. I have lots of them and this is just one night in mine.

So I hope you enjoy. I know I did! And I am "lucky" to be here today to share it with you tonight. If you believe in luck? Not lucky because of the night in general, but as in overall.

A little background....

I am not a big guy, < medium at most, but I carry a big stick, at least I have been hit by a few of them and I know my thresholds. I grew up in a big southern city and was prejudiced against, take it as you may, as a Caucasian outcast "punk rock, new wave, loser."

Maybe I pushed the boundaries? And I liked it! Once a Picaro....

So one day I decided to move to New Orleans in the early 90's. I lived there for over 10 years after that day. If you have ever been there, and ventured off of Bourbon Street, or even there too, it was, IS, a city that you have to watch your back! This is where I made my bones and lost a few of them too.

I have after moved to Northern New Jersey and back, Newark to be specific. Downtown, Green Street and Route 21. Another rough ass place as seen on TV for a white boy. I worked all over the Metro, from Soho to Harlem, from Manasquan to West Point, from The Poconos to Jerome and 161'st.

But this night in Chicago Illinois, takes them all!

I drove from New Orleans to see my best friend and his future, and now x-wife. I drove for around 16 hours straight through and arrived at his door step via a paper map,, remember them? You should acquaint yourself if not.

Anywho, I got there around 6 in the morning and knocked on the wrong door in the duplex, paper maps did not specify which side to knock on, much to piss my friends neighbor off. Sorry!

I slept till around 10 am (4 hours) when my BF now x-wife asked me if I would like to go to a Cub's game at Wrigley for a day game at 1. Hell Yes! Freaking awesome time it was. In fact, Alou hit a foul ball that went between myself and my friends head, I was so out of it from the drive that I did not even hear or see the pop ball that almost killed me. I could have just stuck my hand up slightly and nabbed it.

This would not be the last near death experience I had this first 24 in Chi-Town.

Later we went back to my pals house off the Brown Line and Paulina and got few hours of much needed sleep. Till around 10 and they were ready to show me some more of Chicago and I was ready. So around 12 am, lame, they were ready to go home. I was not!

I told them I was in Chicago and was going to see what's up. I did just drive from NOLA, a 24 hr city and had my second wind till dawn. Brown Line to the Loop I go!

I found myself in Downtown Chicago around 1 I suppose at some LOUD Irish bar. Sounded good! I went in by myself and sat down to people watch. Next thing I know, I was in the middle of an Irish Wedding reception party at said bar drinking Irish Car Bombs and Jameson! WHEW!!!!

Were getting to the donuts....

So after the Irish Car Bomb near death experience with my new IRA Newlyweds at SOME bar downtown??? I had had enough and stumbled out of there. I was only a few (or 10) blocks from "The Beach" on Lake Michigan. The one at Ontario Street and the Lake. I boldly (drunkingly) ran across Lake Shore Drive to get over there.

What a view! There was this lifeguard stand that I sat at and just looked at the beautiful Chicago skyline , what a CLEAN NEW YORK IT IS, till I saw the slight purple/pink horizon to the East. I was mesmerized and sat there all night till dawn.

Mind you, I was a hungover stranger in a strange land and really had no idea where I was or how to get back to the Paulina stop on the Brown Line and even then to my friends house a few blocks away. No map!!!!

So off I went West into Downtown where I knew there were trains to somewhere Northside.

I walked past the Old Water Tower. So cool even 3/4 still drunk!

I stumbled on west. Finally I saw Stairs down to the subways but I had no idea where or which stairs to take to get up North. Damn Irish Car Bombs!

So BEHOLD a Dunkin Donuts... COFFEEEEEEEEEEE

I went in and got a LARGE Hazelnut and a dozen mixed because I wanted to wake my friends with good eats for their hospitality and perhaps wondering about their friend Samurai'ing off into Chicago alone and half buzzed at 12am. But they know me and knew I would make it back, eventually.

So I come out of the Dunkin Donuts, armed with a dozen mixed. I am still lost mind you, I am at a crossroads in the loop, subway signs on every corner. I have no idea?

There is this old. I mean OLD black dude standing outside of the donut shop and I asked him politely, which stairs do I take to get To the Brown and Paulina? He pointed... that one....>>>>> OMG. There was at least a dozen BIG Southside Gangstas standing at the entrance.

Mind you, < medium Caucasian x-punk rock stranger in a strange land!

I chatted with the old timer for a bit, perhaps stalling my certain death? I gave him a donut and made my way towards those stairs. I saw the Gangstas and they saw me, I tried not to notice and make my way towards those stairs and The North Side.

As I got close I could see them pointing and certainly talking about me... SCARED I WAS!

When I thought I would make it past the Biggest one of them all says "Hey you come here". I had no choice, I was walking straight toward them.

As I closed my eyes and waited for certain death. He HUGS ME! And tells me Thank You! They watched me treat the old man at the Dunkin with respect and give him a donut.

I hugged him back and asked again.... down here to the Brown? He said yes I gave him a donut too they let me pass!!!!! WHEWWWW

So I lived through that.

Somewhere on my EL ride I had to transfer to another train cause my drunk ass got on the wrong train. I found myself sitting on a platform beside an OLD polish woman. She looked so sad and I had 9 donuts left.

I talked to her for a minute and asked if she would like a donut. She said in a very broken Polish accent, that I was a very nice man. Just being me to be honest. I would give you a donut too.

So finally I got back to Lakeview and had ate like three more donuts. I knocked on the right door this time at like 10 am with a 1/2 dozen Dunkin Donuts and woke everybody up.

Those were the BEST FREAKIN Dozen Donuts in the world!

I liked it. I live in Chicago and am glad your story lives up to the friendly moniker we have earned.

I thought this was going to be a tale about being where...law enforcement congregate being the reason it saves lives.

On another note has a donut shop ever in the history of the world been robbed? Doubtful.

reply to post by mrperplexed
It was a friendly place.

Not so much like in NYC where we would all rant and bitch and go spastic....then move along.

Never have got used to tomatoes on a hotdog though. Sorry.

reply to post by BigBrotherDarkness
So cliche'. Matter of fact, I don't remember seeing any at THAT one.

Just joking, I guess one could read that into the title.

reply to post by ElleLachyme


Those were like Swiss army donuts.

That was such a fun and awesome read, man, thanks for sharing that story. I need a donut now.

reply to post by Bybyots
Who would have thought a box of donuts would grant one safe passage?

Glad you enjoyed. Thanks BB