Poll: Marraige

How many of you guys out there (who are married, or engaged) asked the father of your companion before asking her?

Be honest!

I was engaged once and no I did not ask the father, but it is a nice sentiment as long as you are certain he'll say yes.

I should have asked but instead notified. I wasn't the man then that I am now.

Nope, that treating women like property is done. Thankfully so.

I would have asked KayEm's dad out of courtesy, but he buggered off when she was five.

I dont see why you need to ask someones dads permission, its old fashioned and like interped said, its treating the woman like property. I'd tell them my intentions, but i wouldnt ask...

My fiance's father died before I knew her, so I didn't get the chance.

Instead I informed her *mother.* I didn't ask.

In a way, Her birth dad was dead, so I asked her mom first, and then her step-dad. I didnt want to step on any toes.We just didn't tell him that I asked her mother first. Both said that they respected the fact that I came to them first. It went a long way in my relationship with them.

Why would you ask the parents, more specifically, the father? As Intrepid said, women aren't property to be given away at their fathers discretion. Also, you're not marrying them, so why ask them. Of course it's great to have blessings... but asking permission.....?

I didn't "exactly" ask.

Frau Dr is of middle eastern descent. Her father, particularly, is "old school."

I originally wanted her to travel with me a great distance, to meet my family. Her father said "no." And his darling would never disobey him. So I had my mother phone her mother, and explain arrangements so that Frau would stay in my parents' home while I stayed with friends of theirs a few blocks away.

Her father said "No!" I traveled to their home, and arrived with no advance notice. I explained that I planned to ask her to marry me, and that there was a family wedding ring that is sort of group property in my family since the civil war. My mother wanted Frau to come and visit, so mom could give me the ring and I put it on Frau Dr's. hand, with my whole family present.

Her Daddy was extremely impressed that I had already "secured the permission" of my own family, and that my mother had called with arrangements.

He said, "Are you asking my permission?" I said something along the lines of "your daughter is extremely headstrong. I'm sure she will do whatever she wants, regardless of whatever YOU or I might hope for or agree on." (That drew a laugh from him and a snicker from Frau's Momma.)

"Let's just say I'm asking for your blessing."

He laughed and asked how I could support her on a student's scholarships (He had already researched my standing in grad school!). I explained that once we both graduated we already had offers for excellent jobs.

He turned his back on me but kept talking.

He asked "then why not wait until you have good jobs?" I told him that his daughter is so beautiful and smart, and has many admirers, that I was afraid a competitor might steal her away.

He turned around and his eyes were gushing with dears. He gave me a huge hug, and said a blessing on the marriage.

My biggest fear after that was that he would tell his daughter about the surpise I had planned! (He told everyone he knew, including casual business contacts. It was a wonder she hadn't heard by the time I DID propose.)

This wasn't verbatim what happened, but close enough.

That was an excellent story, Doc. I'm pleased things worked out for you both

My hubby didnt have to ask .. my mom and dad told him he was marring me LOL


Six years later ... they were right,


*Z*

Originally posted by Seapeople
How many of you guys out there (who are married, or engaged) asked the father of your companion before asking her?

Be honest!

Look, I'm not engaged yet, but I soon will be. There is no way in hell I would ask her father for permission to marry her. When did all that b.s. start anyways??? What's it to him? What a stupid "tradition"! I mean, he already knows I've done things with his daughter's body that would make him have a stroke. What the hell do I need his permission for?

Peace

What business is it of his? He doesn't own her...(which is just my way of saying that the significant others parents always scare me, and it's a much more macho response to get out of meeting them for as long as possible)

We asked for his blessing, but after I proposed...

She had't seen him in over a decade when I proposed...so....

No "asking" he proposed to me at blue mountain, came home with my engagement ring, my dad was on the phone talking to his brother and let him go when he saw what was on my finger so he could give me a "talk"....

My dad is very much cool, he signed my life away so to speak "as a witness", as long as i'm happy he's happy too, there is no giving permission.

If it was a requirement due to religious issues I would but otherwise I wouldn't .... I agree with the other posts in terms of askin' the father for their daughters marriage. To me that is like walkin' up to a farmer and askin' to buy his prized cow. His daughter is not a possession so I wouldn't wanna treat her as such. Good post!!

Actually that was one thing that upset my wife's parents. We rushed into it so fast, we didn't have time to ask them. Her father is out of the country anyway, but her mother wanted me to ask her permission.

The night before we got married, they asked me when we were gonna get married. I made the mistake of saying "As soon as possible." We got "The mayor is my friend, how about tomorrow." After we got back to the hotel her sister started in on us and wouldn't take no for an answer, so the next day we were at the mall buying rings, and before we knew it were in front of the judge.