Reality Escapes Her

She called me out of nowhere and asked if I wanted to meet her for a coffee. Six months had passed since we last spoke. I remember that conversation all too well. She was short, dismissive and cold – a side of her I was only getting used to at the time. All the pleasant experiences we shared accounted for nothing; she didn't want to see me again, didn't want to remain friends and wanted to cut off all communication. It was a harsh pill to swallow, but I complied and we did not talk for the duration.

Six months of non-communication and now she suddenly wanted to meet up again? It didn't make sense. Had she forgotten the hurtful words that met my ears that day? Did she fail to recall the uneasiness between us? Did she perhaps suffer an accident where part of her long-term memory was affected?

Nevertheless, I ended up meeting her. We had coffee and had a long conversation. It started with small talk about our jobs and how we were spending our time. Eventually, the topic of relationships came up and it turned out that we were, once again, both single. I noticed an almost imperceptible sigh of relief when she found out I was not seeing anyone. I was indifferent to the news, but acted as though I was surprised she was single.

We met several more times after that. After the last meeting, she asked if I wanted to go back to her place to watch a DVD. I said no as I didn't want her thinking we were anything more than friends. “But I really miss you!” she retorted. Maybe I am just a pushover, but I gave in and went back.

After the DVD and a long conversation, one thing led to another and we ended up having sex. After, lying on the couch, she began talking about how much she had missed my intimacy and how we should get back together 'officially'. “What about all the stuff you said about not wanting to see me again?” I replied. She said she was just confused at the time and didn't mean it. I told her I would consider it. She went berserk.

The next day I received a phone call from her saying that she thinks we made a mistake the night before. She suggested that we refrain from seeing each other again and told me to delete her number from my phone (I hadn't even re-entered it since our last few meetings). I agreed and for the time being I didn't hear anything from her.

Two weeks later she called me again asking if I still wanted to be friends with her. I told her that she needs to make up her mind about what she wants. Does she want me in her life as a friend or not, she needed to make up her mind. She slammed the phone down on me.

The next day she called and asked if we could meet. I told her I didn't think it was a good idea, but she insisted and I gave in. After meeting for lunch she told me that she wants us to be friends. I told her that it would probably be for the best if we just parted ways and didn't associate with each other any more. She looked disappointed and asked if I wanted to be a friend with benefits.

As soon as I heard this, I noticed a movement from down south, but was able to muster the strength to say no. She looked startled by my response, but seemed to accept it without much resistance. We parted ways and have not seen each other since.

I still get messages from her every week asking if I want to be friends. Has reality escaped her?

reply to post by Dark Ghost

Has reality escaped her?

As a woman, I'd say she only wanted to be "friends with benefits" all along.

She's obviously going through a lonely stage and looking for someone who will fill the gap. Sometimes loneliness will make you think you made a past mistake and should give someone a second chance, but in reality, they always end up leaving again for the same reason they left the first time. Loneliness is confusing her.

No hun...reality hasn't escaped her...it's just that HER reality is different from yours.
She hurt YOU with what she said.....she didn't hurt herself.
It sounds like she is 'using' you....and wants to keep her options open....in case someone better (sorry) comes along.
Don't give in...don't give up....and don't give her power over you.
Let her go....she isn't going to be good for you.
This world is full of people, and in time you will find someone who wants to commit to YOU.
She is the one with issues.....you will be just fine!
jacygirl

She just wants sexy time man.

reply to post by Deetermined

As a woman, I'd say she only wanted to be "friends with benefits" all along.

As a guy, I'm going to agree.

To the OP, count how many times you said "I gave in" in your post. Now you know why she keeps trying.

P.S. What's wrong with the Friends with Benefits angle?

From what I've just read reality has escaped you both.

Originally posted by Gazrok
reply to post by Deetermined

 

As a woman, I'd say she only wanted to be "friends with benefits" all along.

As a guy, I'm going to agree.

To the OP, count how many times you said "I gave in" in your post. Now you know why she keeps trying.

P.S. What's wrong with the Friends with Benefits angle?

I think there will be more to it than just friends with benefits angle. She will bring in to it the "crazy moody demanding indecisive hurtful bitch" angle. Sex isnt worth it if you have to put up with the rest of the BS. Breaks up meanly, silent treatment, gets lonely, calls up out of the blue, meets, has sex, wants it to be official, gets mad, silent treatment, then wants friends with benefits, gets mad, silent treatment, then wants to be friends only.. BAH! Too much of a headache...

OP, Im female and I think she's nuts.

Sounds like she was just looking for some fun. But it was smart of you to turn her down on the friends with benefits thing. It would have just gotten weird after a few weeks.

I've found that if you want to have a "friends with benefits" thing, it really only works with someone you've never been with. My ex pulled something similar to this and it never worked out. Being in a serious relationship, splitting up and then trying to keep something around will always feel screwed up due to the previous relationship.

In many cases the words 'reality' and 'woman' should not be in the same sentance.

Remember that friends with benifits equals friends and a chance of knocking her up. I still say women hold 95% of the cards concerning birth control. In effect they control when they get pregnant not you. SO if she's a psycho in one area . . . You don't need that.

Second she could sabotage a normal relationship you might develope with a normal woman in the future.


I had one psycho girlfriend 10 years ago. She dumped me. What a relief it was. Years later she called me out of the blue to tell me I had been wrong about a medical condition she had while we were dating. Say what??? So I didn't want to have anything to do with her again. So I said I was sorry about her condition and hoped she would recover soon.
She called years after that to accuse me of sabotaging a tenious relationship she had with her childs grandpatents. Huuuh??? I told her I hadn't called anyone. She didn't believe me.
This same thing happend a second time a full 7 years after she dumped me.

I now have a new phone number.

reply to post by Dark Ghost


Maybe she hates you, but shes lonely and you 'lay it down like a champ'.

MOTF!