A really weird and funny story...

I had no idea where to put this, but it is such an odd tale I felt the need to share it...

Ok…I think this is seriously funny and a little weird.....

Some of you will not believe it, but I promise it happened just as I am about to tell.

I am an old guy…I’m 47 years old. My wife is 44. We have 2 daughters one is 23 and the other will soon be 20. We have been married for almost 25 years. My wife was a dancer when we met…a ballerina. Most of her time was spent teaching and not performing but we did go and take part in some shows in the early years….

Anyway…to get to the weird story.

My wife, bless her heart, has put on some weight over the years after she had kids and slowly backed out of the dancing stage. Not long ago, she asked me if I would care if she found a studio and started dancing again. I told her “whatever makes you happy is fine by me”. Seemed harmless enough.

So she joins a local studio and is going two or three nights a week…not unusual.

I work from home btw so…I don’t really care…not an inconvenience to me.

My wife decides she wants to have a “get together” with her new friends here at the house…cocktails, snacks and maybe a movie or something. “Fine Hon…whatever you need”…

So the night comes and all of her new friends are coming over. I am a pretty good cook so I made most of the snacks and food. I was also..apparently this night…the greeter and answered the door. Most of the ladies were about the same age as my wife, moms and grandmoms…really nice ladies.

I open the door at one point and almost had to step backward…here was this absolute beauty…could have stepped right out of playboy or penthouse…I mean a true blue stunner. “is this Tammy’s house?” I stumbled for a sec…yeah she is right in here”…we will call her Michelle for talking purposes…

I was a bastard at that point…I could not take my eyes off of this lady….ask any guy, he will eventually admit these things occasionally happen.

So rather than stumble around and risk stepping on my tongue or d!ck…I decided there was probably some work I needed to get done and went to my office…leaving the ladies to themselves.

I’m sitting in my office with my back to the door and I hear “whatcha doin?” I turn and it is Michelle…”I have some work I need to get done”…so after a few awkward minutes of describing what it is I actually do for a living, my wife pops in the room and draws Michelle back to the crowd…soon, the party is over.

I pretty much forgot all about it and about a week later, my doorbell goes off in the middle of the day and I answer the door…guess who? Yep…it’s Michelle. “Is Tammy here?” “Nope” I say…”she is at work” It is hammering down snow at the time so I ask her if she wants to step inside out of the snow. “Tam won’t be home for a few hours, would you like me to have her call you?” She looks around “Yeah, that would be nice”…she then started trying to make small talk and I was kinda rude…”I have a bunch of work to get done, if you want to stop back by, I’ll let Tam know you were here.”

Victory...I overcame my own d!ckheadedness....

A couple days later, my wife comes home from class with a pissed off look on her face…”What’s your problem with Michelle?”…I said ‘What?” “I don’t have a problem with Michelle

”So why were you so rude to her”…

Now I know I am screwed…words must be chosen carefully at this point…

“What are you talking about? I wasn’t rude to her”

“She said she came by to see me and you told her to leave”

“No…I told her to come back later when you were home”…

“I don’t understand it, why didn’t you just invite her to stay, I would have been home in an hour or so…”

and then I did what I have never done and very few men I know have ever done…I just dropped the load right there…

“Cause if she would have stuck around I would have bent her over the couch and let her have it right there”…

“Oh…well at least you are honest”…

end of story.

My wife has been cool as hell to me ever since...

hi op

Sounds like your wife was testing you in her own weird way
maybe shes not but thats the impression i get
BTW i have had a similar situation.

ETA:

I think she done the dirty on you due to her low esteem from ballooning
And it would make her guilt easier knowing that you banged her friend

Fun read.

You're a good man.

reply to post by Jeremiah65


Jeremy, watch your step. I am married to a women who's daughter is a teacher and my wife for years was on the board of directors. I tell you not. Out of all of the groups of people and organizations that I know, none are more back stabbing and total B***hes than those in that group.

by the way get ready to be manipulated into volunteering to do back braking work. Been there done it. Take my warning seriously.

You just wait, one of these evenings you will be having dinner and some wine and she will bring up what you said and all Hell will break loose.

reply to post by Jeremiah65

My wife has been cool as hell to me ever since...

I'm not surprised.

I really hope your wife stays cool, but I got a feeling you're gonna pay for that remark. And pay and pay and pay......................
Women, especially if they've gained a few pounds over the years, do not like to be reminded there's a hot, young cutie around and YOU NOTICED.
Ladies, please jump in anytime. You know we're all basically brain dead when it comes to hotties.

Ok…I hadn’t checked into this thread for a few days…it wasn’t an offering for opinion so much as just a funny story…but after laughing at some of the comments, I felt compelled to close things up and address a couple things.

To quote davesmart…

“hi op

Sounds like your wife was testing you in her own weird way
maybe shes not but thats the impression i get
BTW i have had a similar situation.

ETA:

I think she done the dirty on you due to her low esteem from ballooning
And it would make her guilt easier knowing that you banged her friend”


Reply:
Dave…If my wife did the dirty, oh well. She is my best friend in this life so I’d forgive her and she knows it. I treat my wife as the most beautiful woman in the world…weight gain or not. She makes me happy and tolerates my ocaasional stupidity. She is…my friend.

To quote Lucid Clouds…

“Fun read.

You're a good man.”


Reply:
Thank you…it was a funny as hell situation and I like to think I was the “good guy”


To quote Prophetboy12

“Jeremy, watch your step. I am married to a women who's daughter is a teacher and my wife for years was on the board of directors. I tell you not. Out of all of the groups of people and organizations that I know, none are more back stabbing and total B***hes than those in that group.

by the way get ready to be manipulated into volunteering to do back braking work. Been there done it. Take my warning seriously.

You just wait, one of these evenings you will be having dinner and some wine and she will bring up what you said and all Hell will break loose.”

Reply:
I already work backstage at recitals and such…it’s fun and you’re right…back breaking, thankless work…but it’s fun. Sometimes me and the other husbands slip out back and have a drink or something. It’s all fun and the ladies love us for our help.

To quote CJCrawley

“I'm not surprised. ”

Reply:
Why not be honest and open? I don’t think it is shocking to tell the person you love the truth. Bear in mind…there was HUGE sarcasm and my wife knew that…like this hot, eye-pleasing honey would have reciprocated the idea….there was some massive “assumption” on my part and I think some of you might have missed that….sarcasm on or off.

To quote David 64

“I really hope your wife stays cool, but I got a feeling you're gonna pay for that remark. And pay and pay and pay......................
Women, especially if they've gained a few pounds over the years, do not like to be reminded there's a hot, young cutie around and YOU NOTICED.
Ladies, please jump in anytime. You know we're all basically brain dead when it comes to hotties.”

Reply:
This is probably true. I am sure every chance I wil be reminded that I thought “Michelle” had a boom-boom butt.

I guess the point I was trying to make…for what it is worth. Just be honest folks. After 25 years, If I cannot tell my best friend and companion the truth, what in the hell do we have? My wife knows that I would sack kate Beckinsale in a New York minute given the chance…I think she would throw it on Keeanu Reeves….does that make us bad people for telling each other our interests AND weaknesses? I think it makes us real and much-much stronger. Just a thought though...

Thanks for the replies…it was fun to share this.

OP, sounds like you have a similar relationship as I do with my wife...

Complete honesty is the only way, sometimes she is shocked by it, but then understands where I'm coming from.

reply to post by Signals


Thanks Signals!

You're right. if you cannot honestly be yourself...good and bad...what do you really have? Living an illusion is not the way to go.

I have my super good moments where I might just be close to walking on water...and then I have other moments where I am a total D'bag...my wife knows this and has somehow managed to tolerate it for 25 years. I guess I am not totally bad.

BTW...Signals...one of the best Rush albums ever....just check my avatar...not like I'm a huge Rush fan or anything...

reply to post by Jeremiah65

not like I'm a huge Rush fan or anything...

There's a bit of good in all of us.

Well, I am a 45 year old woman, my husband is 48, and we've been married 23 years. We are still madly in love, and our intimate life is passionate as ever... and yet I am not shocked, angry or scared at the idea of my husband being attracted to other women. I could even maybe consider a swinger type of thing if he said he needed it, except I wouldn't want to take part (I'm just scared of being intimate with anyone else).

The truth is, when you are young, you are somehow aware that you are in the midst of building the precious ties which will sustain us at this age, as well as building a home and family and you get concerned about keeping all of his attention until that is done.

But once it is done, it is easier to be more understanding and less possesive and insecure.
And I sure do value the honesty we have with each other now- having my partner be honest with me is worth any discomfort that truth my cause!

-That said, I used to be a good looking woman and was very aware of the reason when some men would seem overly distant or cold to me. I could understand. But that makes me wonder if this lady wasn't totally aware of your attraction, had it in mind to seduce you, and feeling rejected, set out to "punish" you by telling your wife you were rude to her!
Some women (like some men) can be such jerks......

Originally posted by DAVID64
I really hope your wife stays cool, but I got a feeling you're gonna pay for that remark. And pay and pay and pay......................
Women, especially if they've gained a few pounds over the years, do not like to be reminded there's a hot, young cutie around and YOU NOTICED.
Ladies, please jump in anytime. You know we're all basically brain dead when it comes to hotties.

LOL- No, I disagree! I can actually check out women with my man!
BUT
He also makes a lot of effort to make me feel loved (tells me so often, is physically affectionate, compliments me, buys me flowers, thanks me fpr each meal I cook and shirt I iron, even makes public announcements of his adoration ) this probably influences a LOT my ability to accept his normal male physical drives.

He's a Woman Whisperer. (or as some say, "french")