Viator (First pages of my manga. Tell me what you think?)

reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX


The story kind of resembles full metal alchemist "aka" philosopher stone. Guessing your doc made himself a robot"girl shot in the head"? doc is the name of the scientist in back to the future "time travel". Im in no way knocking your talent just feel you might want to change some of the names and maybe examine the influences.

I see the doc reference was on propose! My bad I thought it might be not on propose.

Originally posted by digital01anarchy
reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX

 

The story kind of resembles full metal alchemist "aka" philosopher stone. Guessing your doc made himself a robot"girl shot in the head"? doc is the name of the scientist in back to the future "time travel". Im in no way knocking your talent just feel you might want to change some of the names and maybe examine the influences.

I see the doc reference was on propose! My bad I thought it might be not on propose.

edit on 13-2-2013 by digital01anarchy because: (no reason given)

I've never actually watched Full Metal Alchemist before.

Taizela isn't a robot, but she is indeed bulletproof.

I really like it. One thing is you might want to contact a copy editor to work out some of the kinks you have with your prose. Besides that great job...

Originally posted by boncho
I really like it. One thing is you might want to contact a copy editor to work out some of the kinks you have with your prose. Besides that great job...

Thanks

I plan on editing it just a little bit once I upload these pages with my scanner... of course, I need my laptop working again first.

Love your talent...
Good Luck!

Originally posted by XxNightAngelusxX

Originally posted by digital01anarchy
reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX

 

The story kind of resembles full metal alchemist "aka" philosopher stone. Guessing your doc made himself a robot"girl shot in the head"? doc is the name of the scientist in back to the future "time travel". Im in no way knocking your talent just feel you might want to change some of the names and maybe examine the influences.

I see the doc reference was on propose! My bad I thought it might be not on propose.

edit on 13-2-2013 by digital01anarchy because: (no reason given)

I've never actually watched Full Metal Alchemist before.

Taizela isn't a robot, but she is indeed bulletproof.

Ok cool not a robot but bullet proof. I suggest you watch full metal Alchemist, death note, bleach,Naruto Shippuden, D.Gray-man, Elfen Lied, .Although Death note, Elfen lied,D-dray man are short compared to the rest they are extremely good. Bleach, full metal Alchemist and Naruto Shippuden are extremely long, lots of eps. Bleach has great fight scenes, Naruto Shippuden "some people may hate this anime" but its story is amazing . Full metal has good suspense and story line.

I dont read...in fact i can honestly say i've never read Manga unless you call Frank Millar and 2000 AD Manga..But i Know awesome when i see it......and this is awesome work...

Artwork is promising, you do need some work on spelling and the text of it. I would suggest possibly taking a writing class to further develop a good solid style as well as maybe a graphic arts class to perfect your skills as well as enable the transition to digital.

It's a very good start.

Fair enough... I'm getting much better at spelling, and even the drawing of the characters.

This is only the first few pages. As the story progressed, it began to look a little better in its flow, and the characters began to look more "solid."

I plan on replacing the text with print whenever I manage to scan the pages. I wanted to legally own my story before I put the whole thing online, though.

Publication!

Giving this thread a bump.

Great talent should be displayed and acknowledged.

Originally posted by SLAYER69
Giving this thread a bump.

Great talent should be displayed and acknowledged.

Thank ya

I'm trying to get better, to make the character designs more "full" ... if that makes any sense.

Is anyone interested in seeing more of the story? If so, I'll be sure to post em when I have time.