A poem I wrote and an explanation.

I was just curious to see if anyone on ATS liked my poetry and I'm going to provide an explanation also just to A) prove that I have thought about every word and that I have not put rhyme above meaning like so SO SO many poets and songwriters do these days and B) To hopefully make at least one person think about something on a hitherto unperceived level and open up another petal of the flower of perception.

I tried posting this in collaborative writing but for some reason I was told I'm not allowed to post in there so I thought skunk works would be the next best place (is that a reference to marijuana by the way?), and also I am not published (and I don't really care either I just do it to express myself eloguently, the english language is a beutiful thing, well all language is but particularly english imho) but it is trademarked, anyway here we go:

How many dressings
bound in distorted caressing
around the object of bitter confessing
the extent of endless excessing
oh how i find it depressing
the eternal over obsessing
with futile possessing
and subconscious self repressing
the dirt might cling to the tresses
of ego's sick blessings
the effect, to lessen the testing
of innate interesting
a constant digressing
novelty never resting
and ever contesting
the intuitive assessing
and unfettered expressing
of life, coalescing.


*How many dressings
bound in distorted caressing

the first two lines mean all of the metaphorical clothes that we bind around ourselves, which distort each other and ourselves but also kind of gratify each other in a way hence 'caressing'

*around the object of bitter confessing
the extent of endless excessing

because we are all excessive in western society, and also on a personal level, and the degree to which someone can confess their flaws and excesses is a measure of how humble, and therefore how nice a person they will be (and I mean humble, not afraid of life and low confidence, and yes there is a huge difference!) so im asking, how many dressings do you have? twisting and tangling around the release that allows you to confess your sins and admit your flaws and get forgiveness, you can be bitter about it, or you can let it pass gently.

*oh how i find it depressing
the eternal over obsessing
with futile possessing
and subconscious self repressing

This is just me saying how i find it really sad how people obsess with objects, things,, just things, like a dog looks at an ipad and sees a square thing, and we look at it and see "oh my god how could she have posted that status to him after what happened to her last weekend at [insert location]" and how much happier is the dog, and like money, money is just paper and cotton and stuff, if everyone decided it meant nothing then it would mean nothing, and how much torment do we put ourselves through because of our over obsessing with futile posessing? And most people dont even realise it so they are subconsciously repressing themselves.

*the dirt might cling to the tresses
of ego's sick blessings

The bad things will always cling to the elation of the ego, and i dont just mean football jocks here, i mean everyone, the EGO, even right now, in this post I am gratifying my own ego, and you all do it all the time, so this line means that there will be bad reprocussions from that, the dirt will cling to the trailing ends of the temporary gratification of the ego.

*the effect, to lessen the testing
of innate interesting

The furtherance of the ego always results in ignorance, which is why you have all these mainstream nicki minaj people, who are probably too stupid to even make the distinction between the ego and the true self, like if you said, "you are not the ego" they would say "i know i'm not an eagle" and as a result of this ignorance they dont question things enough to find out what is worth thinking about, which results in their terrible music, i mean, im not going to claim like jimmi hendrix or david bowie arent/werent egotistical, but you have to admit that they are no where near as bad as like, one direction or justin beiber, and thats because they went further towards the soul, and found what was more pleasing to the soul, and created good music, not corporate tween pop s**t, they tested what was innately interesting.

*a constant digressing

The reason that people find stuff like facebook and terrible music interesting is because consciousness is fractal, the more you think about something the more levels you understand it on, and it basically goes on forever until you lose interest, , like every time you see a film or read a book you notice more things about it, because consciousness continues folding in/out (simultaneously) forever, and even once youve seen everything in the film, you take different views and opinions and standpoints on those things, and those views relate to other things which you have views and opinions about, and shed another level on those, revealing more things, and then you take views and opinions on those things and so on ad infinitum so from the standpoint of the ego, the regular nicki minaj fan may have a thousand perfectly valid justifications, and the non-nicki minaj fan may have a thousand perfectly valid counter justifications, and so there is a constant digressing, but the closer you get to the center of everything, the more the distinction between yourself and other egos dissapears and the more your thoughts begin to meld with other people bringing you closer to complete unity, this is what syncronicity is, you know those "I was just thinking about that!!!" moments? However:

*novelty never resting

Why then do the ignorant, by their constant digressing, not come to eventually find the center of everything? Its because of novelty. Remember the first time you had a fizzy drink or tasted chocolate? Now fast forward to your 600th can of coke, its not as good is it? And that's because novelty is the enemy of correct assessment. Every time you experience something new, you not only experience novelty, but your capacity to experience novelty decreases, and you experience the other side of this particular duality, which I call negative novelty, and it is because of negative novelty that you didnt stop drinking coke after your first can, and when you go for that second can, you are not really wanting coke, you are wanting novelty, but each time you drink a can, your ability to perceive novelty from that particular thing because you eventually correctly assess it, so, novelty never resting

*and ever contesting
the intuitive assessing

its not all bad, with the decrease of novelty and the path to correct assessment some things are hard wired into the mind, or rather, some barriers are torn down in the mind allowing for the free er flow of the centre of awareness, the one, the AUM, aka God, to the edge of awareness, which results in the most potent form of perception, pure intuition, upon which this whole post is written, i tell you, every word of this came into my head as i was writing it, not that i made it up, just that i already knew the deeper meaning, so all i had to make up were the words to express it, and pure intuition helped me in both, but the ego and novelty are enemies of intuition (and no, if your wondering, i have not yet reached full enlightenment)

and unfettered expressing
of life, coalescing.

in the end, the expression of divinity flows free and without contest and it is expressing all life coalescing from two into one

Thanks. Love.

there is a "decreased" missed out in the novelty never resting explanation, and i appreciate the irony of my saying that i love the english language and then my whole post is messily written hahaha,

Also, i encourage you to voice any flaws or holes you find in anything i have said, i will only get wiser because of it and i for one find something quite invigorating about having my beliefs and views intelligently challenged, thanks very much if anyone reads this pfffft hahaha

reply to post by simplyLOVE


I like the amount of thought you put into this. And i enjoy trying to dissect the puzzle before me as I read it.

BUT!

If I was a professor in a college critiquing you on your poem. I would say that it's WAY to wrapped up in metaphor. In fact I'd say, that it oozes of so much metaphor and mystery, that it would seem as though you've over compensated for something you've felt you missed? (Yes, a question mark is in order)

If I were you. And If I were educated in this sort of area.... I would say... .Dumb it down buddy... Take everything you have and make it bigger by making it simpler..

Not because it's bad, because it's deep and you need to make sure everyone understands AS their being entertained?

Hope I don't come across as harsh.... Cause I really do like it... I just don't care for still being a little bit dumbfounded even AFTER your in depth explanation of the lines...

I may not be the smartest... But I'm no dummy... And I'm prolly not the only one that had the same problem I did while reading your poem..

Sometimes, when poetry tries to rhyme, they over use metaphor in exchange for coming up with an appealing rhyme. And you my friend have crossed that threshold in my opinion...

Love where your going with it and what your trying to say..

Ps, If you have to explain three world lines with a paragraph.... You've used too much metaphor..