Question for those of you who are single and 'happy'

reply to post by Zinky


If any of our 'parents' ever had this attitude none of us would exist...

Originally posted by surrealist
Just want to ask those of you who are single and happy, how you deal with your celibacy and remain happy?

Self-service!

Sorry for butting in, as am not single... but I have been single. Celibacy and happiness doesn't really have much to do with eachother... but I can see intimacy and happiness going together... but intimacy doesn't mean sex. I'm sure there's tons of people out there getting plenty of nookie without any intimacy, and I'm sure a lot of them miss that aspect.

Also took a little peek at your other thread... self confidence - that's the answer. Don't have it, no problem - pretend you do!

I'm a girl, not male, but I think it goes both ways. I'm not the conventional pretty, nor very feminine... but I've never been turned down by anyone that's caught my eye. That said, I'm sure there's guys out there who would probably rather stab their eyes out than having sex with me.... hahahahaha! But luckily I've never been attracted to any of those. Men like me beacuse I got charm. They like me because I'm confident, and that I don't give a toss. I don't need to show off cleavage or wear mini skirt and slap on make-up. I'm the one that will wear old jeans and a shirt covered in paint, and the women can't understand why men would rather hang with me then stare at their boobs that are hanging out.

I like me! Men like that. And women like men that like themselves. Spend less time lifting weights, and more time learning to love yourself. Learn from this dude (notice the little "tilt", around 58 sec, as he sees the lovely young lady... that little tilt says "I could have her":

reply to post by surrealist


just wondering... are you single by choice?

From your other thread...

You may not have heard of 'Incel. It is explained below, but in brief, incel is just a shortened term for 'Involuntary Celibacy', a condition or state of being where people seek out, or otherwise long for, sexual relations (and intimacy) yet cannot get it for whatever reason.

Women in their 30/40 are ravenous sexual predators... IF you "can't get it for whatever reason" you're doin something wrong my friend.... especially considering you seem to have a decent.... lets call it a resume

Have you tried POF or any other dating site?

P.S. Listen to the chicky above me.... she knows whats up.... gotta have confidence bro...

its a must... no NO sex for YOU!

Well, I'm single and try to stay happy about it, but that's difficult.
Just broke up with a guy who I had a wonderful emotional and physical relationship with, but I couldn't handle his materialistic ways and he was always too worried about what other people thought. I miss him and hope he comes around to realize that you can't buy what we had, but I'm not holding my breath.

Meanwhile, I live in the cess pool of the dating world, so no real hope here of finding someone new.
Isn't life great?

I've decided that if I don't find someone soon, I'll just get rid of what I can and travel. There's a lot of places I want to see (if WWIII doesn't break out) and it's a lot easier having a fling when you know you're just on vacation. This way, you both know that there isn't going to be anything else and you won't be bumping into each other at the grocery store and having that uncomfortable "how've you been?" conversation.

My parents and sister have great marriages and I'm still left in the cold, which is probably my problem. I meet a lot of men who want to date me, but none of them seem right and I'm not going to settle. I'm also a nurturer and don't believe that I'll be happy unless I find someone who wants me to be there for them and vice versa. I'm just one of those girls who wants to know that I'm needed as well as being included in the things they enjoy. If my man's sick, I'm more than happy to go to the store for medicine or anything else that would make him feel better. It just sucks that the men I've met are the type who just tell you what you want to hear so you'll stay around. You can only believe the BS for so long until you realize that you're being played for a fool.

Honestly, I'm not about to lower my standards. I'm not going to settle down until I meet a man who's honest and appreciates what I do for him. It makes me sad to think that I might never meet the right man, but then I think of my friends who have settled and how horrible their relationships are and I know that being single is better than settling for less than I deserve. Having a fulfilling marriage is wonderful, but being single and not being shackled to the wrong person is even more fulfilling. At least when you're single, you can go where you want to and even move to a new place when you feel like it without having to compromise and uproot someone.

Originally posted by yourmaker
reply to post by Zinky

 

If any of our 'parents' ever had this attitude none of us would exist...

So?

It might also be of interest to note a new thread that popped up here, a person wondering why they were unloved as a child.

It is the best choice for people who *know* they don't want kids, not to have any.

In any case, I just popped back in here to see how the OP is doing.

Originally posted by surrealist
I was married for eight years and only because of procrastinating was separated for four years before finalizing divorce in 2010.

I have been without any date or intimacy for going on seven years. I'm 42 years old, look after myself, 5'11, around 240 pounds and lift heavy weights three days per week. Have a full-time job in the public service, a mortgage, my own car.

I'm very shy when it comes to women. I lalways have been. I've written about my experience with 'incel' here.

Just want to ask those of you who are single and happy, how you deal with your celibacy and remain happy?

I'm guessing a lot of people just casually date and have their occasional encounters, but I also anticipate not everyone practises this.

Cheers

edit on 26-12-2012 by surrealist because: Spelling

Inno, with me it is a pride issue. I simply refuse to take any risks, if a gal likes me enough she can take the risk, if not I got better things to do. That, and I personally find people who need to be in relationships pathetic, and have fairly high standards due to my level of self awareness(most people, male and female remind me more of animals then sentient beings, so in many respects it kind of feels like bestiality if the gal isn't at a similar level of awareness). I have a different outlook to life then most, and I know beliefs, morals, likes, dislikes and intellect are important in a relationship. The whole notion that "opposites attract" seems kind of faulty and dumb. I guess if all my standards can't be met I would rather be alone then deal with the consequences of settling down(but I strive to keep my standards from being excessive or hypocritical)

I am also aware of how people fake it till they feel safe in a relationship, so you have to watch the little details. How does she treat others when you are or are not around; what are her morals like? Does she cheat on test's or cut corners? Granted any sensible person would apply that type of analysis to a prospective partner regardless of gender.

Take all that above plus my own life experiences observing friends in relationships, hell no. An overwhelming majority of young women(18-35) are either physically or emotionally/mentally abusive. Worse yet they see nothing wrong with it and society cheers them on often. Combined with the rampant favoritism society shows to young women in employment, education and entitlements; it goes into why my pride will not allow me to pursue any gal. In matters like this, what Queen Victoria said about women seems almost prophetic. And the thought of dating, let alone being intimate with chauvinistic pigs turns my stomach.