Blown Gasket - My SHAMPOO BOTTLE Proves Aliens AND the NWO!

ah..
and I always figured because afterward, you smell like clean panties
What the hell was I thinking to miss the blatant.

b

reply to post by Hefficide

So... there I was,

Reading the bible when I realized that the ezekiel chapter was actually describing a space craft, of course this is back in biblical times however.

So Pantene was not needed here, just a journey into the bible.

reply to post by Hefficide


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Originally posted by Hefficide
So... there I was, lathered up and lost in thought, steam filling the room and refreshing my mind and my senses, when I realized that my subconscious was actively reading the ingredients on my shampoo bottle. There were words listed there that I could no more pronounce than try to reproduce here. But one word, the brand name, did strike my conscious mind - like a HAMMER!!!!

Pantene!

Now, let's do a bit of research into the root of the word Pantene... It is a bastardization of the word Patheon - quite literally translated: "(temple consecrated) to all gods". Gods, of course, as we know, COME from SPACE! Additionally, as an oft referenced thread from a former ATS member has taught us... All Roads Lead To Rome!

Do you see it all? The Obelisk? the Inverted V? Every single NWO code right there in the OPEN!

It gets even more telling on the inside:

Now, COME ON! If that isn't disclosure of a UFO - right in the open? Then I don't know what is!

And they had the brazen gall to not only build this structure - but they even were crass enough to place references to it in the most intimate and embryonic environment that a human being can enter. THE SHOWER! How come Alex Jones or Jesse Ventura haven't connected these dots and done a show on this? THIS IS EARTH SHATTERING!

Are you still with me?

Good.

Now let's get down to the real rant. No, folks, I did not skip my meds. Nor did I double dose them. Everything that I stated above, while actually kind of intriguing and potentially a decent plot line for a fiction book ( Dan Brown, if you steal this, I expect a check! ) - the only actual truth from the above is that this idea did come to me while staring at my shampoo bottle.

Only I wasn't lost in thoughtlessness at the time. I was actually a bit miffed over, and focused upon a very real phenomenon - one that, while not specific to ATS - certainly occurs here.

The proverbial "I read the thread title and the first paragraph and then posted without bothering to get any further" personality. The ones who post replies that leave an OP blinking and asking, often out loud, "How the HELL did you arrive at that from the words I wrote???"

Then, glancing at the thread title, you say "Oh, that's as far as you got!"

I tend to be verbose, that is granted. I do understand that there are folks out there who feel that any and all threads should be no more than ten or fifteen words in length. I know this because they've griped at me often enough. The Twitter generation - the children of Cliff Notes - the Pics or it didn't happen crowd. Them, I tend to ignore because pics, without context, are merely tools of immediacy that illicit a visceral reaction, whether appropriate or not.

Someone once said that a picture is worth a thousand words. I say, a picture without words has no context and isn't the basis for anything other than an aesthetic appreciation.

Brevity has its place - but the exchange of information requires depth. The exploration of subjects requires much more than just cliff notes or a 140 character limit.

I tend to be a nice guy, or at least I try to be. So, when I write a thread, I don't mind having to jump in every 3 or 4 pages to restate the specific points of an OP - to offset all of the "Based upon the title of this thread, I think...." posts. But when it gets to the point where one feels the need to submit these clarifications every second or third post in the thread???

What the Hell man???

Yeah, I am verbose and I know it is NOT for everybody. Easy fix! There are TONS of threads on ATS that include a Youtube video and about twelve words in addition to it! Gen "no attention span" has their territory! The Twitterites have plenty of places that they can post! So why must they persist in trying to expand their borders? have any of US ever hacked Twitter so that we could post a 27,000 character Tweet??? I don't think it's happened ( although the idea now has me thinking evil and possibly illegal thoughts about that glory that doing so might bring! ). Long story short! If "too long, didn't read" (Hey, SkepticOverlord, I mentioned it, where's my check!

) is the methodology you live by? AWESOME!

I offer another maxim to live by... DIDN'T READ IT, DIDN'T POST!

So, in summary, Pantene is shampoo. The Pantheon is an ancient marvel of engineering. And people who comment in threads without even reading the OP steam me so much that it stands out, even when I am, myself, standing in a steaming shower.

Somewhere, my karma is probably laughing at this. Loudly.

~Heff

edit on 12/18/12 by Hefficide because: (no reason given)

Showered? Sorry i can't believe it without proof. And no offense, but i don't want proof.

Wait till you read the shaving creme Heff....

I spent my whole adult life using Head and Shoulders because the commercial said it was for flakes.
Just read the bottle and found out it meant Dandruff Flakes.
All this time i thought it was just for weird people.

reply to post by Hefficide


Rock on, Slayer Santa - it does all get to be too much some times. Let's just hope you aren't right about that Pantene, Alien, NWO thing, I mean, seriously, though, if you measure the circumference of those bottles and divide it by the speed of light it yields a formula for...errrm. I think I need to get some fresh frozen air in my lungs and unglue my eyes from the conspiracy forum for a bit... then again... The Truth Is Out There (cue X-files music...)

peace,
AB

Originally posted by mblahnikluver
Heff you never disappoint!!

I LOVE that you are verbose! You should be a friggin writer for real. You are very good with words and you never fail to make me laugh or others for that matter.


Good rant! It irks me as well when someone posts without reading the thread. It's like why be lazy or why even bother replying if you aren't going to read the OP! I like when someone takes the time to express their feelings in multiple paragraphs vs the one line crowd with a link. I for one dont like Twitter because it limits what I can say and well I like to talk so limits are not something I like

Pantene....nice choice but be warned your hair will not look like the commercial no matter how much you fling it around in the mirror

Haha "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful!" on a serious note tho heff good rant, I just came back after being gone for like 8 months or so (I tend towards this behavior with all my interests) and I gotta say it is something I have noticed is people not reading a post entirely before offering half baked opinions on it.