Blown Gasket - My SHAMPOO BOTTLE Proves Aliens AND the NWO!

So... there I was, lathered up and lost in thought, steam filling the room and refreshing my mind and my senses, when I realized that my subconscious was actively reading the ingredients on my shampoo bottle. There were words listed there that I could no more pronounce than try to reproduce here. But one word, the brand name, did strike my conscious mind - like a HAMMER!!!!

Pantene!

Now, let's do a bit of research into the root of the word Pantene... It is a bastardization of the word Patheon - quite literally translated: "(temple consecrated) to all gods". Gods, of course, as we know, COME from SPACE! Additionally, as an oft referenced thread from a former ATS member has taught us... All Roads Lead To Rome!



Do you see it all? The Obelisk? the Inverted V? Every single NWO code right there in the OPEN!

It gets even more telling on the inside:



Now, COME ON! If that isn't disclosure of a UFO - right in the open? Then I don't know what is!

And they had the brazen gall to not only build this structure - but they even were crass enough to place references to it in the most intimate and embryonic environment that a human being can enter. THE SHOWER! How come Alex Jones or Jesse Ventura haven't connected these dots and done a show on this? THIS IS EARTH SHATTERING!

Are you still with me?

Good.

Now let's get down to the real rant. No, folks, I did not skip my meds. Nor did I double dose them. Everything that I stated above, while actually kind of intriguing and potentially a decent plot line for a fiction book ( Dan Brown, if you steal this, I expect a check! ) - the only actual truth from the above is that this idea did come to me while staring at my shampoo bottle.

Only I wasn't lost in thoughtlessness at the time. I was actually a bit miffed over, and focused upon a very real phenomenon - one that, while not specific to ATS - certainly occurs here.

The proverbial "I read the thread title and the first paragraph and then posted without bothering to get any further" personality. The ones who post replies that leave an OP blinking and asking, often out loud, "How the HELL did you arrive at that from the words I wrote???"

Then, glancing at the thread title, you say "Oh, that's as far as you got!"

I tend to be verbose, that is granted. I do understand that there are folks out there who feel that any and all threads should be no more than ten or fifteen words in length. I know this because they've griped at me often enough. The Twitter generation - the children of Cliff Notes - the Pics or it didn't happen crowd. Them, I tend to ignore because pics, without context, are merely tools of immediacy that illicit a visceral reaction, whether appropriate or not.

Someone once said that a picture is worth a thousand words. I say, a picture without words has no context and isn't the basis for anything other than an aesthetic appreciation.

Brevity has its place - but the exchange of information requires depth. The exploration of subjects requires much more than just cliff notes or a 140 character limit.

I tend to be a nice guy, or at least I try to be. So, when I write a thread, I don't mind having to jump in every 3 or 4 pages to restate the specific points of an OP - to offset all of the "Based upon the title of this thread, I think...." posts. But when it gets to the point where one feels the need to submit these clarifications every second or third post in the thread???

What the Hell man???

Yeah, I am verbose and I know it is NOT for everybody. Easy fix! There are TONS of threads on ATS that include a Youtube video and about twelve words in addition to it! Gen "no attention span" has their territory! The Twitterites have plenty of places that they can post! So why must they persist in trying to expand their borders? have any of US ever hacked Twitter so that we could post a 27,000 character Tweet??? I don't think it's happened ( although the idea now has me thinking evil and possibly illegal thoughts about that glory that doing so might bring! ). Long story short! If "too long, didn't read" (Hey, SkepticOverlord, I mentioned it, where's my check! ) is the methodology you live by? AWESOME!

I offer another maxim to live by... DIDN'T READ IT, DIDN'T POST!

So, in summary, Pantene is shampoo. The Pantheon is an ancient marvel of engineering. And people who comment in threads without even reading the OP steam me so much that it stands out, even when I am, myself, standing in a steaming shower.

Somewhere, my karma is probably laughing at this. Loudly.

~Heff

TLDR. (You knew that was coming)

Heff, you crack me up. A well articulated velvet hammer.

Maybe there is something in the shampoo, on another note what better way to mass infect peoples brains with some sort of chemical than to put it into all the water and shampoo straight to the brain like an IV

Hey,

thank you Heff, something like this was needed, yet... I fear that those who most need to read this post...will never comprehend it's simple and comedic manner...

Hat's off, I now fear the shampoo industry



SS

I for one appreciate your verbosity and your earlier thread "The other side of Doomsday" is one of the best things I've read here especially in consideration of its tone and style. The ever decreasing attention span of the general populace is annoying and the trend is worrisome for future generations. Too long didn't read can be appropriate if someone is beating a dead horse or engaging in long winded borderline insane ramblings. It should not, however, be a standard to strive towards.

Heff you never disappoint!!

I LOVE that you are verbose! You should be a friggin writer for real. You are very good with words and you never fail to make me laugh or others for that matter.


Good rant! It irks me as well when someone posts without reading the thread. It's like why be lazy or why even bother replying if you aren't going to read the OP! I like when someone takes the time to express their feelings in multiple paragraphs vs the one line crowd with a link. I for one dont like Twitter because it limits what I can say and well I like to talk so limits are not something I like

Pantene....nice choice but be warned your hair will not look like the commercial no matter how much you fling it around in the mirror

okay i'm gonna go ahead and add this because I'm a geek and I thought it was interesting.

It is called Pantene after panthenol which is the alcohol analog of Vitamin B5 (Pantothenic acid or Pantothenate) all of which come from the Greek pantothen which translates "from everywhere". The name was chosen for Vitamin B5 because it is apparently found in nearly every food source people consume.

reply to post by Josephus


The shampoo bottle failed to mention that.

C'mon now, I was like a shower based Macguyver! I turned SHAMPOO into the core element for an entire fictitious OP - and did so before my hair even dried. Now I'm left to walk around mumbling "Damn Google threw salt all up in my game... "

reply to post by Hefficide


I DID READ IT ALL

...however, it is too articulate for me to understand but I want to contribute and will just respond with a reply that includes something from the thread title:

"I didn't know you could blow a gasket with a shampoo bottle? Maybe Pantene has some special chemical designed by aliens for the NWO?"

I read the whole thing, but what stuck in my tiny mind was the reply about B5, so I will now go off topic and question if I should consider eating my shampoo?

Heff,

I've read enough of your OPs that I know when I click on your thread, I will be "committed" to it for awhile. Sometimes, my responses take longer for me to write than your OP takes for me to read.....you really have a way of making me think about things.

Point being, I take the time to read the OP because it has substance, and that is something I like. I like hearing the story unfold and I like how you throw a knock out punch in your conclusions....they are the best part and make the rest of the OP worth reading. That's why I take the time to read the whole thing!

I think the people who want that twitterfied summary are missing out, but if they don't want to take the time to read it all, then you'd think they'd just skip over to the next thread that catches their eye, unstead of commenting unknowingly without the full facts of the OP??? I don't get that????

Maybe you should post a fine print warning: all those cluttering up my thread without reading the full OP will suffer my wrath.....the mighty heff has spoken, let it be known throughout ATS Land!

Although, I'm sure for some that would induce an entirely different response!!! Ya really can't win, I guess??!!

Oh, FYI: Pantene tends to cause a lot of build up after prolonged use, so if your hair ever feels weighed down, it might be time to use a clarifying shampoo or one that strips the hair. Don't know if that is a issue for you, but just in case it is.....am I really swapping shampoo tips on a conspiracy site? I need to stop now, huh?

Ok you got your star and flag and well deserved it was. I am now however confused, firstly about the eating my shampoo bit. I currently have mine boiling on the hob, frying on the back burner and roasting in the oven. Any tips on cooking times and heat would be appreciated, Would it be better on toast ? I'm so confused

Also confused about a guy using pantene.
Surely all guys just use Lynx as a do all type soap/shampoo/degreaser/anti perspirent/aphrodiziac/you name it Lynx does it. OMG I forgot to start cooking my Lynx, so much to do and the wife out at a Xmas party.
God help me I'll never see this night out !!!

reply to post by kaoticf8


There was a animated movie about that, the "Power That Be" put a chemical in the shampoo that allowed other people to kinda control you through a computer. Weird but good movie, definitely something a conspiracy site should look up, though the movie name escapes me.


Never mind its called Metropia

reply to post by Hefficide


I personally find it a little sad that you were driven to post a thread on reading the entire premise before posting. And you know there are going to be people posting in this thread who just prove your point, riding the Irony Train all the way home.

Which only deepens my disappointment at the necessity of this thread. For a conspiracy site that actually has standards (unlike the vast majority of privately owned forums) it's a bit sobering. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the matter - I suppose we needed a more popular and authoritative (you're a moderator, of course you have authority) to make this statement and actually get it out there. This works, and it made me laugh.

Incidentally, I do love a thread that neatly balances humor with intellect. Aside from the entertainment, it encourages people to actually consider what's being said instead of clamming up in the heat of the flames. So again, good thread.

Last, but not least, in light of the actual topic, I'm beginning to suspect you put more than a little thought into the title...Let's put it this way:

Very well said. I always love your threads. Thank you for posting.

Originally posted by Hefficide
So... there I was, lathered up and lost in thought, steam filling the room and refreshing my mind and my senses, when I realized that my subconscious was actively reading the ingredients on my shampoo bottle. There were words listed there that I could no more pronounce than try to reproduce here. But one word, the brand name, did strike my conscious mind - like a HAMMER!!!!

Pantene!

Now, let's do a bit of research into the root of the word Pantene... It is a bastardization of the word Patheon - quite literally translated: "(temple consecrated) to all gods". Gods, of course, as we know, COME from SPACE! Additionally, as an oft referenced thread from a former ATS member has taught us... All Roads Lead To Rome!

Do you see it all? The Obelisk? the Inverted V? Every single NWO code right there in the OPEN!

It gets even more telling on the inside:

Now, COME ON! If that isn't disclosure of a UFO - right in the open? Then I don't know what is!

And they had the brazen gall to not only build this structure - but they even were crass enough to place references to it in the most intimate and embryonic environment that a human being can enter. THE SHOWER! How come Alex Jones or Jesse Ventura haven't connected these dots and done a show on this? THIS IS EARTH SHATTERING!

Are you still with me?

Good.

Now let's get down to the real rant. No, folks, I did not skip my meds. Nor did I double dose them. Everything that I stated above, while actually kind of intriguing and potentially a decent plot line for a fiction book ( Dan Brown, if you steal this, I expect a check! ) - the only actual truth from the above is that this idea did come to me while staring at my shampoo bottle.

Only I wasn't lost in thoughtlessness at the time. I was actually a bit miffed over, and focused upon a very real phenomenon - one that, while not specific to ATS - certainly occurs here.

The proverbial "I read the thread title and the first paragraph and then posted without bothering to get any further" personality. The ones who post replies that leave an OP blinking and asking, often out loud, "How the HELL did you arrive at that from the words I wrote???"

Then, glancing at the thread title, you say "Oh, that's as far as you got!"

I tend to be verbose, that is granted. I do understand that there are folks out there who feel that any and all threads should be no more than ten or fifteen words in length. I know this because they've griped at me often enough. The Twitter generation - the children of Cliff Notes - the Pics or it didn't happen crowd. Them, I tend to ignore because pics, without context, are merely tools of immediacy that illicit a visceral reaction, whether appropriate or not.

Someone once said that a picture is worth a thousand words. I say, a picture without words has no context and isn't the basis for anything other than an aesthetic appreciation.

Brevity has its place - but the exchange of information requires depth. The exploration of subjects requires much more than just cliff notes or a 140 character limit.

I tend to be a nice guy, or at least I try to be. So, when I write a thread, I don't mind having to jump in every 3 or 4 pages to restate the specific points of an OP - to offset all of the "Based upon the title of this thread, I think...." posts. But when it gets to the point where one feels the need to submit these clarifications every second or third post in the thread???

What the Hell man???

Yeah, I am verbose and I know it is NOT for everybody. Easy fix! There are TONS of threads on ATS that include a Youtube video and about twelve words in addition to it! Gen "no attention span" has their territory! The Twitterites have plenty of places that they can post! So why must they persist in trying to expand their borders? have any of US ever hacked Twitter so that we could post a 27,000 character Tweet??? I don't think it's happened ( although the idea now has me thinking evil and possibly illegal thoughts about that glory that doing so might bring! ). Long story short! If "too long, didn't read" (Hey, SkepticOverlord, I mentioned it, where's my check!

) is the methodology you live by? AWESOME!

I offer another maxim to live by... DIDN'T READ IT, DIDN'T POST!

So, in summary, Pantene is shampoo. The Pantheon is an ancient marvel of engineering. And people who comment in threads without even reading the OP steam me so much that it stands out, even when I am, myself, standing in a steaming shower.

Somewhere, my karma is probably laughing at this. Loudly.

~Heff

edit on 12/18/12 by Hefficide because: (no reason given)

Because it said:

LATHER, RINSE, REPEAT

that pic is a basillica not a pantheon.
but , erm... your worth it.

reply to post by Hefficide


ever since I read this thread... I just can't keep thinking about Pantene's advertising. Yanno... "It won't happen overnight, but it will happen"

my god, your right, it is telling all of us that is it going to happen... aliens and NWO

I wonder if people who post things like "too long, didn't read" realize how telling that truly is. I imagine they're the same folks that talk just to hear their own voice. Nothing worth while to contribute to discussion save an over-inflated opinion. Really, what's to be gained?

I never voice it, but I always appreciate your posts, Heff.

I always enjoy your posts Heff. Thank You!

I must say however, I never use Pantene. It makes my hair limp and lifeless...it doesn't want to hold a curl