Honestly. Am I WRONG?

Let me explain this situation.

My friends and I are moving. We need to set our cats up in a sitter, but they require the cats to be vaccinated first. I didn't want my cats to be vaccinated. My cats have always been healthy, never been sick, never had worms, nothing. Plus, I believe shots are a ploy to make pet owners spend money. Besides that, my cats don't NEED any kind of health boost. They're healthy as can be.

I wanted to take my cats to my mamaws during the move.

I just got paid today. A twenty from my account, and fifty as early christmas money. We need food BADLY. We are out of lots of things we need. I had to pay back money to a friend I owed, and I thought I was finally in the clear to get some stuff.

Then, while I was out today, my friend took my cats and had them vaccinated so they could go to the sitter. She told me "Oh you can just pay me back."

Pay her back??? What???

I didn't ask her to do that, I didn't want them vaccinated! They didn't ask me!!!

Those shots were thirty bucks a piece.

She's FUNNY if she thinks I'm paying her back for that! HELL nah!!!

This isn't the first time she's done this.

I told her--told them all--I can't afford to do anything for their birthdays or christmas, so DON'T do anything for me. So, my friend throws me a surprise party. It made me happy, but it made me feel in debt to them. I don't like that.

Then, a few months later during my OTHER friend's birthday, my FIRST friend wants me to spend my only 75$ on the party. I told her I couldn't. That was the ONLY grocery money I had that month.

So, she throws it in my face that they spent 70$ on MY party.

REALLY?

I didn't ASK for that! I told them particularly NOT to do that!!!

She actually said... "Well, I hate to throw that in your face, but... we did."

I finally have money, I was supposed to have money a week ago. And she wants it? She HAS money of her own! I don't get paid half as much as she does!!! I need to EAT!

I'm not paying her back. Not gonna happen!!!

Really.

Really?

REALLY???

Well i think maybe your friends were just trying to be nice? Although i can understand if i was broke and i need some money for the month then someone spends the money i was going to use on getting my cat vac...

Look at it this way.. if you ever do run out of money & is very hungry then you can eat the cat.

I would be most upset about the fact that they took my cats to the vet for shots without my permission!! That is disrespectful. As for the money, if they were "true" friends, they'd understand where you were coming from. I'd tell them to get lost.

You should not pay it back because it is not something you owe.

It was done without your consent and was beyond your control, your friend took it upon herself to do this knowing your financial situation.

Sounds like she is a bit of a control freak.

On the flip side, where would you have kept your cats if they were not permitted without the shots?

Seems that your cats have a place to stay but now you have an apparent debt again.

That is a trick they use in prison, to give you a gift so that they can ask for something back later. One solution would be to find a better source of money. Sometimes situations like this can pop up when you are living with people who have different incomes.

For example, I just moved into a house with two people, and there is definitely pressure to spend money to match their lifestyle, even though I earn less than them.

In all though, I don't think you are wrong. My room-mates and I have things worked out where we each take care of ourselves for the most part, although some communal things like food or house work are potential issues, even though we made a food policy (ask before eating, and point out if you have something special).

Even so, the friend who owns the house is a teacher and makes the most money, so obviously he will end up spending it on things (he bought a ton of furniture). Luckily, he is a generous person, but we (my other room-mate and I) are still eager to repay him in other ways besides monetary ones.

Your friend sounds a little narcissistic to me.

Don't pay the money back, it's not a debt (debts are agreed to) it's more a 'hook' or an 'anchor' to make you feel guilty and thus spend money. These people know your situation yet they're carrying on regardless. I'd ask them not to speak to me any more.

I lent a friend a bike recently, it was a £700 road bike, fully customised (it was given to me as a gift, as I have no money myself) my friend took it back to his place, which is a flat, and left it OUTSIDE his frickin door, and it was stolen. I didn't ask for a single penny. Not one. I understood he has children and a flat to pay for, food and bills... That's friendship. I'd never tell him 4 months down the line, you owe me £700. If I did, I'd expect him to laugh at me.

I use that as an example, though your situation is different, obviously. You should ask your friend why it's so important that she gets to control these aspects of your life that your view is clearly defined on? It's almost like she wishes you had more money and so is trying to get you used to spending it. It's a warped mindset but it might be hers?

You could just say something like "Listen, I know you guys are trying to help, but you're actually making things worse, you're putting pressure on me and forcing me into purchases that WILL ruin me, friends don't do this" Then walk away.

You seriously...SERIOUSLY...need new friends.
And I hesitate to call those who seem to make your life hell on a daily basis "friends"

Don't pay her back, what's she going to do? Take you to court? Tell her how it is or give her the money you never borrowed in the first place..... There are really scummy people that do things like this on purpose just to feel like they're owed something, real sickos these people are, best to wash your hands from them altogether!

Op, stand your ground. Do not pay these people back. You do not owe them. Your friend is positively a control freak. Why would someone get your pet vaccinated for you without your knowledge and then expect you to pay them back? WTF?

So your "friend" took your pets to have a medical procedure without your permission?

Please define "friend" for me.

You can do better than this.